203 – Siriel (2)
After the sun goes down, a chilly wind blows. Although Siriel was immune to both the cold and the moderate heat, she somehow ended up wrapping her hands around her cold arms.
“…It’s over.”
Under the darkened sky. Siriel muttered towards the neatly organized vacant lot. I washed up for fear of smelling like sweat, but there was nothing else to do in the place I hurried to.
Clearly, even until morning, there were broken bricks strewn here and there, and dozens of pits filled with disgusting demonic energy remained.
Now, half a day later, it has been cleaned up so smoothly that there is not a single trace of battle.
‘If this happens… I have nothing else to do.’
Siriel waved her hands in despair. I just waved my hand into the air, and a creepy knife mark was carved into the smooth dirt floor.
It was a pointless show of anger. However, I felt like if I didn’t do this, this frustration would turn into a bad feeling.
Quad deuk – Quad deu deuk – The messy land just needs to be cleaned up again. Siriel, who had vague thoughts, poured out her uncomfortable feelings towards the land she had just cleared.
She flipped over the ground several times, but for some reason, her frustration did not go away and remained.
Although she wasn’t the world’s greatest genius, she was smart enough to often be at the top of her grade. Siriel Prien knew exactly what was the cause of this frustrating feeling and how to solve it.
‘…I also wanted to show myself active. I am confident that I can do it just as well as Lucia.’
I couldn’t do that this time either. Another opportunity disappeared before my eyes.
In the city where Kylie’s mausoleum is located, Siriel showed off her inaction that anyone could recognize. But it didn’t actually happen in front of the person I wanted to see.
It was not Lucia who saw the brightest moment, but her beloved brother. I don’t need anyone else. Siriel only needs Siron’s approval. In reality, such an opportunity never came to Siriel.
It’s really funny too.
There were eleven battles over a period of just two months.
“…Whew.”
Siriel patted her chest and let out the heat. No, now rather than being frustrated, a heavy pain came. It was so heavy that it even gave the illusion that a stone was pressing down on her chest, and it made her feel uncomfortable… Siriel started scratching her chest instead of the ground.
I have to quickly tidy up the place and go to bed, but the next day I have to greet my brother with a smile, but my heart hurts so much that my hands didn’t stop and even my steps didn’t fall.
Because she no longer had a chance.
In the future, Siriel is scheduled to succeed Hugo and take over Changcheon. Then, like her father, she would spend most of the year maintaining the knights and going on expeditions. Unlike Lucia, who was given the title of head of the family in name only, Siriel, who would have clear responsibilities, could not remain by Siron’s side any longer.
As soon as the thought reached that point, an uncontrollable emotion welled up in Siriel’s heart.
This emotion is anger or sadness. It was difficult to explain in such simple words.
Sadness because I acknowledged that there were no more opportunities, resentment that things had turned out this way even though I had done nothing wrong, a desire to have my brother all to myself, a longing that would come in the future, vague anger, resentment towards my father, and feelings for Lucia who had monopolized the opportunity. Jealousy, frustration at the unresolved frustration, love for my brother, and fear of never being able to achieve him were sticky and tangled together.
The corners of the mouth are distorted and the eyes are tightly closed.
My breathing became shallow and my hands became tense.
It was obviously fine until this morning, but Siriel couldn’t overcome the rising feeling as if she was being eaten by something.
Siriel moved her hand from the mess in front of her and smoothed the top of her head. In order to stop this ugly behavior now, she wanted to feel the scent of Siron.
It would be okay to visit Shiron in person, but wouldn’t it be impossible to show such a mess in front of someone you love? Siriel sat down on the floor, recalling her most recent memories with Siron.
‘How did you touch me?’
Siriel shook her head and recalled that time.
At the time, my hair was so bad that I ended up making such an embarrassing request. As time passed, she wondered if she had made such an embarrassing request, but she felt fortunate that she was able to find herself calming down just by reflecting on Siron’s favor.
Perhaps thanks to the cold wind, her hair gradually cools down.
…
weird.
Unlike her head, which was getting colder, her emotions showed no signs of calming down.
I wasn’t saying that feelings that had lingered and faded for years couldn’t be calmed down just by getting some fresh air at night.
It is because of the clear scent smelled in the cold wind.
A scent mixed with soot and fruit. I thought it was a perfume that my mother specially prepared for my father, but it was subtly different from that.
In addition to the wild soot, the smell of old books and the scent of beautiful light were mixed here and there, and it was the smell of Chiron, which she loved so much.
“You’ve been looking for a long time.”
Siriel’s shoulders flinched and trembled at the heavy voice. Normally, she would have turned in the direction from which the night wind blew, but she buried her head in her knees as if to hide herself.
“It wasn’t in the room, it wasn’t in the training room, it wasn’t in the bathroom, and I went around to the annex and came back.”
Siron gazed not at Siriel’s back, but at the heavily disorganized vacant lot. I tried hard to make Siriel feel better as quickly as possible, but if I had known it would be like this, I think I would have done something a little more haphazardly.
“I’m going to catch a cold.”
Siron took off his coat and wrapped it around Siriel’s shoulders. The robes I had prepared were swept on the dirt floor, but it was okay as I had prepared them for Siriel and had been used for her.
“Let’s go in.”
“…I want to stay here a little longer.”
Siriel, with her face buried in her knees, muttered as if she were complaining. As soon as the coat was wrapped around my shoulders, the faint fragrance suddenly became stronger and I came to my senses.
Messy chest visible between knees. If she showed herself like this now, it was obvious what Shiron would think of her. A mentally ill person, a woman whose head has turned. At the very least, they were a group of thin, hysterical people.
“I’ll clean up, so brother, go in first. It’s cold at night…”
Siriel spoke quickly, pouring out words. However, a feeling of regret came right after that.
Even when she thought about it, the words she uttered were muttered a lot. The pronunciation was so inaccurate that, looking at Siriel now, it was enough to make one think of her as a helpless woman who hung her head and cried at night.
Did he not understand the mumbling voice? As expected, Siron never listened to Siriel. Rather, contrary to her wishes, Siron moved closer to Siriel.
“Ciriel, are you crying?”
“…I’m not crying. So please…go back.”
“no.”
Siron flatly refused and sat down on the dirt floor.
“How can I leave a woman crying so pitifully? I’m not that kind of person.”
“…”
“There is no need to go all the way to the woman. If a boy acts like you, I am the one who will at least talk to him to find out why he is like this.”
“…”
“If you’re really not crying, raise your head.”
When I stretched out my hand and tapped the top of my head, a pretty face raised its head. Siriel stared at Siron with resentment.
“Isn’t that really too much? When you say that, I can’t help but raise my head.”
“I’m on the verge of crying.”
Siron helped Siriel up and wiped away her tears. As Siriel held her head up confidently, she did not shed any tears, but tears were welling up in her sparkling eyes as if they were about to spill at any moment.
“Was the training that hard?”
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“…Why do you think that?”
“It’s because Eldrina has laid out her worries in front of me. She said she can’t concentrate on training these days.”
Siron knew exactly why Siriel was like this, but he deliberately pretended not to know. Rather than getting angry because I can’t hang out with my beloved brother. This is because I was exhausted from the hard training and thought it would be better to just be left floating.
“no,”
However, Siriel didn’t seem to think that way at all. Siriel believed that this incident could not be ignored. This was because she had already shown her ugly side and she was convinced that her clever brother was now telling a white lie.
“It’s because of my brother.”
“…huh?”
“It’s because of my brother.”
At the moment when Siron could not believe his ears, Siriel poured out words before he could even open his mouth.
“In front of my brother… I want to prove myself. Things keep not going the way I want. So I’m so angry, I think I’m going to lose my mind.”
‘Why is it because of me?’
The feeling of wanting to argue with the incomprehensible words rose to the very end of his throat, but Siron decided to add more words so that Siriel could freely express her emotions.
“Is that all? Is there anything else?”
But soon Siron had no choice but to regret his words.
“…I’m annoyed that my brother keeps pushing me away, and that he’s neglecting me and having fun with other women.”
“…Syriel.”
I thought I was squeezing out pus from a wound that was about to burst, but for a moment it occurred to me that I had touched a beehive that I shouldn’t have touched.
“No, now that I think about it, the others are tolerable, but Lucia is the problem.”
The emotions that had been building up exploded. The dirty feelings I had been hiding deep inside my heart were revealed. To Siriel, it was not the image of an attractive woman to pursue, but rather something obscene.
“Why do you keep going with Lucia? I can do it like Lucia. You proved it last time, right?”
However, like a burst dam, reason could not contain the emotions that had been stored up.
“Lucia might be harmful to her brother…”
Eventually, the words that I had sworn to keep a secret for the rest of my life came out.
“You shouldn’t be close to Lucia…”
“…why?”
“In my dream, Lucia killed my brother.”
Siron’s eyes, who had been listening in silence, widened.
‘What are you talking about? Lucia kills me in my dream?’
Siron looked at Siriel with his eyes wide open. Are you talking about the power of foresight? However, the power of foresight could never be possessed by Siriel, and Siron was at a loss as to how this happened.
“There, Lucia was sticking a knife into her brother’s chest. But she didn’t tell her. For the sake of Lucia and her brother!”
“Sleep, wait…”
“I admit that it’s strange to make such a fuss over just a dream. But I guess I can only say this.”
However, before Siron could come to his senses, Siriel poured out words.
“If I’m being honest, it’s true that it’s half-hearted. I feel it myself. But at least I don’t stick a knife in my brother’s chest.”
Siron’s concern was no longer found in Siriel. Unlike before, where she always gave priority to Siron, Siriel showed a rude attitude by cutting Siron off mid-sentence.
“I don’t know why Lucia points the knife at you, but I’m sure this will happen someday? So, shouldn’t you be with Lucia?”
“Cyriel. You’re so excited right now.”
Chiron grabbed her shoulders to stop the gibberish.
“Let’s cool down a bit and then talk. If you spit it out like that, will you kick the covers later?”
“It doesn’t matter. I mean it. I’m not ashamed of my feelings for you.”
“…”
I jokingly told her to calm down, but Siriel showed no sign of calming down at all. Siriel grabbed my forearm that held her shoulder.
Not only my shoulders but also the hands holding my forearms are shaking. I knew that Siriel had her own concerns, but I had no idea that she had such heavy feelings. I didn’t hold back on compliments and gave gifts that people would like, so I thought that would be fine…
That doesn’t seem to be the case.
‘Should I propose here?’
The atmosphere was a mess, so thoughts arose in my head several times, but I couldn’t think of anything to do in the current situation. Siron made a firm decision and immediately implemented his thoughts.
“Siriel.”
We made eye contact. Blue eyes, shimmering with heat and moisture, contained sparkling starlight.
“love you.”
A surprise confession of love. Siron hugged Siriel.
This was Siriel’s usual behavior of being so happy and helpless when hearing words that would make you melt. Judging by the way she was criticizing Lucia to her face, Siron thought that the reason she was in such a dangerous state was because of the feelings she had built up towards Lucia.
“I say I love you.”
So, I tried to turn my attention to bigger emotions.
“I think my brother really wants me to go crazy.”
This time, Siron did not get the response he wanted.
uh?
A vision that tilts and rotates quickly. A shock is sent to my back. Siron lost consciousness for a moment.
Just when my vision was blurred and I felt a slight sense of dizziness, I came to my senses when I felt someone climbing on me.
“…You’re awake?”
“thank god.”