I do not resent-6
“Let go.”
It was a tough talk. Not only was he unable to look at me and he was shaking, but his swollen eyes bothered me.
Adele, Adrian, and Mirajen were the people I loved.
And, I am still a loving person.
As I touched my red, swollen eyes, I pulled my hand away and the swinging arm violently beat my body.
“Leave it.”
“I’ve let go before.”
It was my role to refrain from going to the South.
Mirazen went to the south to find artifacts, and it was only an illusion to think that he would always come back safely.
When we didn’t see each other for a while, Mirazen died. Wouldn’t it have been different if I had seen her return? Didn’t she regret dozens of times?
It’s not a story that only I know anymore. Mirazen knows, Adrian knows.
Maybe one day Adele will know.
As if knowing when I was speaking, Mirazen gave a small nod and released her hand from my sleeve.
I looked at the sagging hem of my shirt, then raised Miragen again and looked around.
It’s not something worth talking about in a place like this.
It was a shame that there were no people around, and if anyone saw it, it would be a perfect situation for a bizarre misunderstanding.
The weeping princess and the duke who chased and captured her. Even if a scandal arises, it will be firm.
Especially now that this relationship is already somewhat widely known.
“Even if it’s an order, I won’t let go-“
“I will object. Punish me later.”
He tried to force himself up, but Mirazen let out a breath as if he had collapsed for a moment, and stood up meekly.
He held out a handkerchief to his still messed up face. Of course, it was better to see someone smiling than crying.
I was concerned that it was because of me that she was crying like this, and when Mirajen, who rubbed her face, went to her room, she closed the door and rubbed her face.
Where to start with this story. It’s hard to have a conversation with someone who has a hard time making eye contact.
Sitting on the bed and staring at the silent Mirajen for a while, she cleared her throat and cautiously opened her mouth.
“I came here to talk. If you don’t say anything like that… nothing will change. Don’t you know?”
“You know what I did.”
“Didn’t you hear how many times I said it?”
“…I heard. but-“
Mirazen, who was about to say something but kept her mouth shut again, lowered her head.
I wasn’t talking about the past hoping that she would feel guilty.
She had the right to know the past, so she told me because she was curious. Rather, it would be the side of trying to bury the past and try a different direction.
“Mirajen didn’t tell you about the past to make you sad, didn’t you?”
“…I know.”
“How many times have I told you that I don’t hold grudges?”
As I bent my knees slightly to make eye contact, Mirazen turned her head again.
However, this time he put his hand on his cheek to avoid avoiding it. Our eyes met.
For a moment, though, I closed my eyes again. Mirazen’s eyes did not change from before.
It was congested from crying a lot, but that doesn’t mean that her black eyes didn’t turn red.
“If you avoid it like that, I don’t know what to say. May I ask you something?”
“……”
“My fault for telling you-”
“I don’t think so.”
Mirazen, who still turned her head, replied.
The gaze slightly touching this side made me smile slightly, but it was not in the mood to laugh, so I suppressed my laughter and looked at Mirazen.
The hair was very messy. It was because he was suffering from hearing me talk about the past.
Looking at that, I thought about stopping the conversation, but I couldn’t help it because it wasn’t something I could stop talking about.
“…I never thought Robert was wrong.”
“If you behave like this, it will only feel like my fault.”
“It’s my fault. If I hadn’t been to the South, Robert wouldn’t have had to do that.”
“On the contrary, I am grateful. If I hadn’t practiced at that time, I wouldn’t have been able to save you this time.”
If I hadn’t been able to handle the sword when Miragen was in the north, I would have had to watch the aliens do it.
and it hurts again Maybe he would have taken his own life again. however, saved
Wasn’t it possible that I was able to deal with Temuchin and the aliens alone because I had accumulated the experience of the sword?
It is said that it happened once anyway. In this life, I was able to put an end to the things I regretted so far.
I saved Mirazen from being harmed with my own hands, and formed a bond with Adrian that I hadn’t been able to.
After this, it’s time to stop Adele from dying.
“That too-“
“You told me not to blame myself, but I don’t know why you keep blaming yourself.”
I know why Mirazen didn’t want me to blame myself. And the way I feel now is the same.
Don’t you know that the more you blame yourself like that, the more the viewer’s heart becomes heavier?
I probably know, but I think it’s because what I did was painful.
“I understand. What do you mean, why are you sorry to me?”
However, I didn’t want you to be sorry. I don’t want to see you cry, and I always have a desire to see you smile in front of me.
Because I didn’t want to do anything to hide my heart anymore.
My heart that this life is the last for me has not changed. However, he had no intention of ignoring the previous relationship.
Be happy if possible. Even if you don’t want to, it was my heart that I wanted everyone to smile and live in a world without me.
Now, he smiled at his slightly turning head.
As time passed and I waited for him to meet my eyes on his own, before long, the eyes that were completely facing each other twinkled slightly.
Again.
I wiped away the falling tears with my hand, and Mirajen, who wiped my own tears with her free hand, blinked slowly.
When the long eyelashes are dry and all the tears are gone.
A cracked voice escaped from between her reddened lips.
“…I mean my apologies.” “I know.”
“What I said about not blaming myself is sincere.”
“I know.”
“Then answer me.”
The hand that touched my chest slowly slipped and touched my stomach, and then Mirazen pulled her hand back to my chest and carefully folded her hands over me.
Mirazen, who had confirmed several times that they were connected, raised her eyebrows slightly as if she was relieved only then.
I sighed as I pondered the next question, then opened my mouth while holding my hand tightly.
“What can I say to Robert here?”
“I do not know.”
I didn’t want to answer anything. Because I just want things to be like before.
If I can live like we met in this episode even after hearing this story, that was enough for me.
“It’s enough if we can talk like yesterday.”
“Like yesterday?”
“Just laugh and joke. We joked about waiting for each other.”
I touched the pin that was caught under the tousled hair, and then I combed my hair to fill it in as it was.
Didn’t you fill in what you couldn’t fill in the 35th this time?
In a way, this also meant a lot to me.
“It would be okay to give each other presents, or just listen to your voice as an artifact from time to time.”
It’s okay if we’re not lovers like before. Since this life isn’t like before, it’s because Miragen isn’t the only one with special feelings for each other.
Even if they became lovers like this, it would be complicatedly twisted, and above all, I didn’t want to have a deep relationship with someone else until I finished Keitel.
It was only then that I realized that I had crossed the line I had set for myself.
Erase the boundary by trampling on the line, and step forward to the server line right in front of Miragen.
It was a mistake. It shouldn’t have been like this, but no matter what you say now, it won’t change what you’ve said so far.
Wouldn’t it be better to just accept it?
Maybe it was time to redefine the line that I had set for myself.
Mirajen’s body staggered forward as she pulled the hand she was holding. The gap that had been separated has narrowed for a while, and it fits into your arms as it is.
I laughed for a moment as I saw Mirajen’s ears turn red as I hugged her, then I hugged Mirajen’s back and patted her on the back and heard a small voice.
“…Is it okay to hold you like this?”
“Absolutely. I was going to do it earlier, but I couldn’t because he was crying too much.”
Forcibly hugging a crying person would only have the opposite effect.
Mirazen, who slipped out of her arms, stared at me for a long time.
It looked like he had a lot to say, but the slightly curved corners of his mouth didn’t seem to mean anything negative.
For example, saying that you are sorry or that you are to blame. As if she couldn’t stand it anymore, Mirazen laughed and clucked to herself and leaned her head on my chest.
“Do you remember when I asked if I had ever been in a relationship before?”
“I remember.”
“You said you only dated one person. Could it be that fiancé?”
“It can’t be.”
The first unrequited love he had was with Theresia, but the first love he ever had was with Mirazen.
Being good at saying things like this and being familiar with dating were just too simple reasons.
“I have only ever loved one person since I was born.”
It was only that it reached dozens of times, and it seemed that he was in love with dozens of women.