I can finally reach your sadness-2
The sensation that the Crown of Memory conveyed to Adrian was a bit different.
It was different from Robert seen with the naked eye.
When I checked my memories before, my eyesight returned for a moment, but
This time, it was all about the divine power coming into his head and showing illusions.
As Robert held onto Adrian’s staggering body, Adrian let out a small breath as his eyes were tightly closed.
It was a different sensation from peeping into someone’s memory.
It was as if the memories had leaked in and enveloped my body.
I feel like I’m floating, I should say it’s like I’m finally reminding myself of something I’ve forgotten before.
Adrian, who was aware of Robert’s return, realized that these memories were part of the ‘forgotten memories’ that the Memory Coffin was trying to show.
“My head… hurts. Would it be okay if I leaned over for a while?”
“it’s okay. If you’re looking at the same thing, you can keep doing that.”
Robert’s expression as he looked at the scenery in front of him was profound.
I thought we would meet someday, but it came sooner than we thought.
What will Adrian think of these memories? I never really thought that the Crown of Memory, which brings back forgotten memories, would show something like this.
I felt afraid. Maybe that’s why my hands are shaking.
Robert, who let out a sigh and wiped his pale face more than usual, grabbed Adrian’s hand.
Adrian turned his head at the touch of my hand.
He wasn’t talking, but it was like Robert was telling me not to fall.
The emotions that rise in the heart are fear, bewilderment, sadness, and loneliness.
Robert did not know he had seen the memories.
If he knows about this memory, is he afraid that his attitude will change?
The memories that settled in his head were things that Adrian already knew.
It was a death that had been repeated countless times, and it was a memory that they mourned together because they had already seen Robert die in front of them.
Didn’t you promise
If one day Robert fell into solitude again, then it was time for him to hold onto him.
Robert’s expression softened a little as Adrian gently wrapped his hand around it.
The landscape in front of me was constantly changing.
It didn’t completely show everything in my memory, but it was showing what I did without any filtering.
It felt like being punished. The past I wanted to hide, the past I didn’t want to repeat.
The more I see the memories I thought I had forgotten and overcome are repeating before my eyes again.
My heart, which was otherwise complicated, seemed to be sucked into a pit.
“I’m sorry…!”
When he saw the third death, Robert unconsciously squeezed Adrian’s hand.
He couldn’t care less about Adrian’s pain.
I just wanted to somehow avoid what I was seeing.
However, I knew it couldn’t be avoided.
Even when he closed his eyes, the memories that penetrated through his eyelids were constantly tormenting Robert.
When his throat was cut to death, Robert grimaced as he groped his throat.
When his heart was pierced, Robert sighed and let go of Adrian’s hand.
Even though he muttered that he was sorry, his expression was still pale.
The longer the woman next to her didn’t say anything, the more her mind faded, and then she sat down and leaned against the wall.
Caw-
I saw myself in my memory in the field where crows were crying.
He smiled as he looked at the window that penetrated his body.
when was it It was probably the time when he was running away from the pursuit of the imperial army.
The days when he was still suffering from mania, when he was still far from being called a swordsman.
It was clear that Adrian would be looking at this memory.
Seeing his face gradually turning pale, Robert smiled.
Actually, that complexion was a concern for Robert, but there was no way he knew it.
The voice that leaked out was quiet.
As if resigned, he quietly licked his lips while looking at the death that still followed.
“I think you might be watching.”
The past that I didn’t want to talk to anyone about.
The past that I didn’t want to talk about, I’d rather no one think of.
It was ugly, and there were so many lives that died in vain because of weakness.
It was so ugly that he couldn’t protect one precious person, so Robert didn’t want to let others know about his past.
“About my death.”
Adrian didn’t say anything.
Even though I let go of my hand, I could clearly feel that Robert was by my side.
I could tell just by hearing his voice. That the mind that was always dangerous was on the verge of collapsing.
Her own reaction would determine what Robert would do.
I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t open my mouth.
Even though I had already seen it, it was because I couldn’t even guess what kind of heart Robert had lived.
Even though I died countless times, I found the same person, and even though I was desperate, I moved toward my goal.
It was not intended to kill anyone.
He just carried on with the one thing he wanted people to believe in him.
When I read the memories, I was just sad about dying. But now memories were coming to me.
The emotions Robert himself had harbored, the memories he had recalled as he was dying, were entering him.
“Robert…”
Adrian’s voice, calling his name, was locked.
It was a voice that sounded like it was about to burst into tears.
100 deaths, 101st lives again.
It was impossible to fully understand and accept all of them, but I was able to know one nonetheless.
Never once did I resent anyone.
Even after dying 100 times, the heart of the person who carried all the sins on himself. What kind of condition is it now?
Unable to imagine, Adrian quickly closed his swollen lips.
It seemed that if I said something, the suppressed emotions would burst out. I shouldn’t have cried
The one who has to hold on to him is himself, but what can he do when he is swayed by these feelings?
saintess.
I thought the name didn’t suit me.
He considered himself too young and immature to shoulder that heavy mission.
To be a saint, she did not have a benevolent heart, and to be good, she must have been greedy.
He only thought that he had been given a role by God.
If I could embrace even one person, I would.
No matter how inadequate he was, if he could save even one person, that was his mission.
Adrian thought that the moment was now.
In a space where only the two of us are left, isn’t it the only person who can reach out to the one remaining person?
The steps that had been hard like a mangbuseok started to take a step like that.
If someone is a lover you met before, if someone is a relationship that loved each other at least once.
He was the only one who could understand Robert’s feelings.
Adrian slowly stepped towards Robert.
#
It was a brief moment of silence, but Robert thought it was indeed long.
As much as he died 100 times, it was bound to take a long time to see it.
How will Adrian react when faced with all of that?
Sometimes, he might consider himself a murderer for killing people.
You could see him as a cruel person who tried to escape his fate and extended his demonic hand to others.
Maybe he looked like a coward. will you have sympathy
Do you think that the purpose you have been embracing is futile and now look at a different path?
It was a negative thought, but that was the life he went through.
A life in which I was not trusted, and even those who trusted me turned their backs on me.
It was the first time it happened, so I didn’t know it was so scary.
Aren’t the memories Adele has recovered are all memories?
If she saw all of this, I had no idea what feelings Adele would have for me.
He clutched his chest at the feeling of suffocation.
His complexion was pale as he let out several breaths with difficulty.
“Robert.”
He didn’t answer even though he heard a voice. Because I was afraid to answer.
There was no need for pity or sympathy.
He didn’t even want to be reprimanded for his actions.
I didn’t want to mourn my death, just.
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Just.
It would be nice if you didn’t say anything.
Contrary to his fluctuating emotions, his expression was still calm.
The eyes staring into the unknown space were empty.
It was different from the recent times when I sometimes reflected my emotions.
Like a doll, her eyes were devoid of any emotion.
“Robert.”
Adrian’s lips parted.
Contrary to his calm expression, his insides were shaking more than anything else.
It wouldn’t be strange if it broke and collapsed at any moment.
Maybe he didn’t want anyone to know about this memory?
Adrian, who tried to ignore the guilt welling up, slowly reached out his hand.
Even though it was only dark, I could still hear the small breathing.
Robert’s body temperature was finally transmitted from the hand he touched.
As soon as my body touched, I felt the anxiety inside me more clearly.
After thinking over and over again about what to say, a voice slowly leaked out from her lips.
“I knew. I knew of your death before I saw this memory.”
Robert looked at Adrian quietly.
I couldn’t quite understand what the woman who approached me was saying.
It must have been something related to memory.
However, before understanding him, Adrian’s mouth opened.
“…I just have a lot of things I want to say. There are so many. I don’t know what to say.”
I wanted to tell you not to be sad. I wanted to say that Mirazen’s death was not Robert’s fault.
I wanted to tell them that when I chose to die alone, I was sad together, and when I was dying painfully, I was angry at him.
And for always thinking it was all his fault, I wanted to tell him I was wrong.
But he knew that those words were not what Robert needed.
not consolation
To be the only words spoken by the only person who fully knows Robert’s memories,
It was just too ordinary. Robert’s gaze turned to Adrian.
I didn’t know what to cry for.
He must have said it based on his memories, but he couldn’t figure out why he was sad.
If Miragen or Adele were like that, they would understand.
However, wasn’t Adrian the first time he made friends in this life?
There was little contact with Adrian in his life so far.
We must have greeted each other before, but this was the first time in our lives that we were together by name.
But…why are you crying? It was an unfamiliar feeling for Robert.
I thought I’d rather be puzzled than cry, or sympathize.
Took.
I could feel the warmth of the hand touching my cheek.
There was a hand gently wiping my wet eyes and gently hugging my body.
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Just like that day at the Wall Tower when the wind was exceptionally cold, Robert just stared blankly at Adrian hugging him.
“Why are you crying… I don’t know. Adrian would have no reason to be so sad.”
“Now I know, that’s because I’m sorry.”
He stretched out his hand and embraced Robert as it was.
It was a different mind from the day I peeked into the memory for the first time.
It was the sadness I felt at the time of your death.
I learned about a death that no one knew, and I was just sad because I sympathized with the pain.
But this time, it was the feeling I felt when I learned about your sadness.
“I have.”
The solitude, sadness, and regret you had.
I wanted to tell him that Robert was no longer alone.
I promised myself that I would not cry, but when I read my shaking inside, tears flowed without my knowledge.
“So don’t grieve alone. It’s not your fault, it’s not your fault to blame yourself.”
He hesitates, then licks his lips again.
“Wait, can I hug you?”
Robert’s eyes looked a little hazy.
I didn’t even know how I felt about the words the woman was holding me.
Isn’t it just warm?
A little bit of the negative emotions that I had until now have been scattered. I entrusted myself to that soft touch.
For the first time, the woman he had a relationship with had an understanding of his feelings for the first time.
It’s still just speculation, but Robert was certain that Adrian had read all of his memories.
If that’s what you said
if this is true
What should I say to this woman?
Inside the coffin of the thirty-fifth memory, Robert quietly embraced Adrian.
Until the body temperature is completely transferred to each other’s body, that’s how long.