97. Crumpled Report Card (2)
Finally, the hole in the ground was complete.
The paper was sufficiently dirty to be buried.
Who would do such a thing near the sponsorship garden, but Carsein was earnest.
He smeared the dirt all over his hands, saying that these useless things should be buried.
However, his hands stopped just before he was about to bury it.
What if he showed it to them, would they share a warm affection like sisters instead of scolding him?
Wouldn’t they acknowledge him to this extent?
No. Even if not acknowledged, wouldn’t they at least give him a short compliment?
That was why.
Carsein’s hands stopped in the air because he had harbored such a weak thought for a brief moment.
He had worked quite hard.
No. Not quite, he had worked really hard because he wanted to be acknowledged like his sisters.
This was a clear proof that he had achieved on his own while being greatly discriminated against in class by that damn teacher.
How much anticipation had filled him when he saw the perfect report card that he had created by studying subjects that were much more difficult than those for his age, all by himself?
Therefore, he could never turn back if he were to really throw the crumpled paper into this hole.
He continued to deliberate with his lips tightly shut.
Then, Carsein got caught at the scene.
“Carsein? What are you doing here…”
“…!”
The fierce voice of the eldest.
Carsein immediately lowered his arms and turned around.
Then, he clenched his fists tightly.
The crumpled report card was crumpled even more as if to spite him, shrinking into the shape of a ball.
Although the identity of the paper he was holding was not revealed because he had clenched his fists tightly, such a thing would not have even entered Arina’s sight.
“You. Are you doing this to Mother’s sponsorship garden?”
Yes.
What Arina was looking at was not what Carsein was holding.
The sponsorship land that Carsein had ruined.
She narrowed her eyes fiercely at the sight of it.
“Sister? Why?”
“Big Sister? What’s wrong?”
As the two sisters came out after hearing Arina’s voice, she shouted as if she wanted them to hear it.
“Carsein did this to Mother’s sponsorship garden. Why on earth would he do such a thing to the well-kept garden?”
“Oh my. Did he take his anger out on it again this time?”
Claire frowned deeply and glared at Carsein as if he were a troublemaker.
Arina let out a deep sigh, and Flora, as always, was mocking Carsein with her eyes folded into a crescent moon and a gentle smile.
Claire was the first to take action.
She poked Carsein’s forehead with her index finger and asked in a sharp voice.
“Hey, don’t you know what kind of place the sponsorship garden is? It’s a place where even the gardeners wear gloves. Mother tends to it herself because she enjoys gardening. And yet you did this?”
“It’s as Claire said. Surely, you’re not going to lie and say that you don’t know about this place. Carsein.”
“… .”
Crunch.
Karceine’s fist tightened.
Anger welled up from his pale skin.
It was supposed to be filled with expectations.
He thought that if he showed it, he would be acknowledged and praised.
Instead, he was being scolded, and his empty chest filled with moisture.
Because of that, his anger subsided.
Why had he come here? Why had he shown it to her? Was there an excuse he could give?
His sister pressed Karceine.
She criticized his dirty hands, saying they were unbecoming of a noble, and she sharply reprimanded him for his reckless behavior, openly warning him to stop whatever he was scheming.
Until Isabella came after watering the plants in the indoor garden.
When Isabella finally saw it, nothing changed.
“…What is this, Karceine?”
The duchess’s monotonous question.
Hearing it, Karceine was certain.
The conclusion was out.
He should not have any expectations.
He should not think of being acknowledged.
Praise? What nonsense. He should stop early.
He should have thrown it all away.
To Karceine Vagrant. No, to Karceine.
The ducal family’s sun would never shine on him.
-Thud.
The report card he had secretly hidden fell accurately into the pit.
That was the conclusion the boy had reached from his sponsorship.
***
-Ting!
▶The crumpled report card memorial has ended!◀
The miserable Karceine that had been projected in the sponsorship disappeared, and light enveloped the surroundings, returning him to reality.
This sponsorship had not changed much, then or now.
A bright indoor garden and a shaded corner with its back to the wall. This sponsorship was a place where light and darkness clearly divided.
Seeing the memorial and Karceine in the dark corner of the sponsorship, I recalled the unpleasant past once again.
“Ugh, damn it.”
Karceine was an idiot.
An idiot who had expected something when he showed that report card to his damned family, who had held onto the vain hope that he would be acknowledged, who had foolishly held onto that report card because he wanted to receive hollow praise.
However, contradictorily, I, who was saying such things, was also an idiot.
I, too, had expectations.
I had the vain hope that I would be acknowledged.
I had been excited at the thought that I might receive useless and hollow praise.
I wanted to suppress my third brother, who always bothered me.
I wanted to brag to my second brother who always looked down upon me, that I was better than him at something.
I wanted to show my first brother, who treated me like I was a burden, that I wasn’t useless.
And.
There was a time I wanted to boast to my mother, whose mental illness had disappeared after bringing me back and who had been able to go about her daily life ever since.
My heart pounded at the thought of showing her my report card with my impressive school-wide first place ranking in the mock exams at the prestigious academy.
I had harbored some hope as I imagined the surprised reactions from my family.
Even now, it strikes me as such a foolish thought.
If I could go back in time, I feel like I would rip that report card up and shout that it was useless.
However, the exact same situation was unfolding right before my eyes.
Whether it was because of the report card or whether it was because I had harbored an impossible wish.
And even the fact that I had come to accept reality belatedly without revealing that report card.
Isn’t it ironic?
But is it thanks to that? I start to feel a chill run through me.
Although I wasn’t the one who had experienced it, my head went cold as I seemed to experience this disgusting feeling twice, just from the past events.
It wasn’t until I felt that that I was able to finally calm down.
-Ding!
▶Time will start flowing again in 5 seconds!◀
The timer appeared.
They say that time in this world will start flowing again in 5 seconds.
Yeah. I guess I should just go ahead with the next episode.
I agree.
Rather than babbling nonsense at my past self, my future self would tell my current self to just go ahead with the episode.
▶The memorial effect has ended!◀
▶Please complete the selection!◀
My stiff body starts moving again.
This report card, which was like the light and shadow of the duke’s family to Carsein… I guess I should take it myself. At least it’s right for me to take it and get rid of it.
After lightly brushing off the dirt, I carefully folded the crumpled report card and put it in my pocket before going into the indoor garden.
There, just as I had seen in the memorial, Isabella was spraying water with a mister.
“I heard you called.”
“…You’re here.”
As I spoke in a flat voice, Isabella’s gaze turned towards me.
At the same time, my eyes turned to her favorability box.
[ Isabella Vagrant ]
[ Favorability: 58% ]
The last time I saw her, Isabella’s favorability must have been 50%.
Although I don’t know why it went up, the fact that it’s gone up to 58% suggests that she probably won’t say anything to Carsein in the game…
‘No. I can guarantee that’s not true.’
Isabella’s gaze is fixed firmly on me.
It’s not a look of expectation.
It’s not a look of acknowledgment.
Praise? That is out of the question.
At the moment, she was trying to scold me.
“I know you were feeling down, Carsein. However, this time, I will have to give you a proper scolding.”
As expected.
From Noble mtl dot com
My expectations were not off the mark.
Spending so recklessly as soon as you received the money. What a foolish expense, isn’t it?
She must have called me here to say this anyway.
“Please continue.”
I responded with a blank expression.
No matter what she says, I do not plan to talk back.
Even if I were to insist that I did nothing wrong, there is a possibility that it will be taken into consideration.
***
After the servants and knights of the ducal family were replaced, Carsein was paid a lump sum of the allowance that he had not received due to Emma’s embezzlement.
At the same time, a little more effort was put into managing the finances.
It was in order to manage more thoroughly and meticulously to prevent the same thing from happening again.
That’s why I was able to find out how much Carsein had spent recently.
A considerable amount of money was paid in a lump sum, and a corresponding amount of money left the ducal family at once. Under Carsein’s name, no less.
Isabella noticed that and was going to call Carsein here to have a talk. She had to point it out somewhat sharply that it was not given to be used so thoughtlessly.
“I know you were feeling down, Carsein. However, this time, I will have to give you a proper scolding.”
As soon as Carsein arrived, Isabella announced that she would scold him as she sighed.
However, I should not blame Carsein for everything like before.
There was a bad precedent. I did not want to make him feel bad like that again.
So, I was going to wait a little.
To hear Carsein’s thoughts and how he had spent the money.
But.
“Please continue.”
Carsein responded calmly with that face rather than waiting for my reason.
“…Do you have nothing to say first?”
Isabella, who had been slightly pursing her lips, asked once more.
Then.
“Yes.”
Carsein affirmed shortly this time as well.
As if he were admitting that it was true that he had spent the money so recklessly.
‘If he admits it so meekly, there’s nothing I can do.’
Then, I will have to point it out sharply.
As a noble. As a member of the Vagrans. And as a lord who once ruled a territory.
“Carsein. Do you know where your allowance comes from?”
“No. I do not know very well.”
“Then, you should know this. Your allowance comes from the territories and vassals governed by the Vagrant ducal family. Especially from the people of the territory, their sweat and blood are responsible for supporting our peaceful life.”
Pushing the diffuser to one side, Isabella continued.
“To you, it’s mere pocket money. But to them, it’s more than living expenses; it’s enough to live comfortably for several months or even years. It’s shameful to waste such money on mere luxuries.”
“…”
“I will not say anything if you use it to maintain a certain level of dignity, but excessive luxury is the most shameful behavior for a noble. Reflect on this, and reflect deeply. Never commit such an act again, and embrace the loyalty of your people instead of betraying it.”
Karcen must have understood this much, at least.
And that was as far as Isabella intended to scold him.
She decided not to ask where he had spent that large sum of money. Since he didn’t deny that he had done wrong.
So now it was time to extend a helping hand.
After wielding the whip, she had to offer a carrot as well.
She had called Karcen not only for this talk but also to restore his right to participate in the Eastern Nobles’ Assembly.
Isabella reached out to Karcen, intending to stroke his hair while soothing him with gentle words and reminiscing about the Chatearen territory.
But Karcen pushed Isabella’s hand away.
“I understand.”
Isabella’s eyes widened in surprise.