129 – Scars
It is quite difficult to figure out the meaning of certain actions. If someone tells me that I don’t look good today, I can’t tell if it’s because they’re worried about me or simply because they’re nervous.
Even when there’s no problem, and you’re thinking lightly about what to eat, if you hear that word out of the blue, it will remain in your memory for a long time like an ink stain on a white shirt.
It can be dismissed as simply thinking of me, but in the end, the action is social consideration covered with petty hypocrisy, not an act of finding out the truth.
It’s just the back of a coward who smiles bitterly and, as always, expects oblivion to solve this problem.
So I didn’t think about what Eli’s kiss meant. It is unknown whether it was an impulsive action or a deliberate targeting of the moment. Unless I was the person involved, there was no way to confirm whether my guess was correct. In other words, it is a waste of time and a waste of energy.
That made me even more concerned. No explanation or excuse for kissing. Just like evaluating food, her first kiss was sweet, and her behavior was not easily erased from his mind. Along with emotions, the question was embedded in her brain.
Left alone in the room where Ellie disappeared, I had no choice but to go back to the club room with a bitter smile.
With memories that will remain like scars.
***
I thought, perched on the edge of my bed, that building a cozy home on an island was a pretty good choice. Thanks to the use of magic, there was no inconvenience in using the toilet or kitchen, which was a realistic problem.
However, it wasn’t until late afternoon when I went to the club room with the idea of going to the library that I realized that there was an unexpected problem.
When I opened the door, something like a note fell to the floor. Suddenly, I remembered that flyers like pizza or naengmyeon had been pasted at the door in the past.
But this was Transcendence Academy. If it is not a library, no one will put up flyers among those who enter and exit this place.
There may be flyers in this world, although I haven’t set it up. With a bit of anticipation, I picked up a piece of paper that had fallen to the ground and checked the writing.
[ I left a note because I thought I was away. If you check, come to hyung’s dormitory!!! Please!!! – Roel]
I identified a problem with the contents of the note. Yes. In my room, I can’t know the existence of a visitor to the club room.
Even if I knock, of course I can’t hear me on the island beyond the closet.
With the thought of visiting a magician specialty store and ordering something like a doorbell, I moved to the Combat Division dormitory.
I just wanted to ask Roel something. Going to the library wasn’t particularly important, so let’s go together.
When I knocked on the door of Roel’s dormitory, the door opened with light footsteps. His hair was trimmed to commemorate the vacation, and his appearance was shining more today. Just a little annoying.
Luckily, there was only Roel inside. Seeing that the beds had been made, it seemed that everyone had gone home for vacation.
I liked the fact that I didn’t have to greet my brother’s friend with a forced smile.
“Ross! You came. I went to the club room earlier, but there was no response when I knocked, did you go out somewhere?”
Unlike me, who couldn’t sleep due to worries and guilt, Roel’s cheerful and bright appearance made me grumpy for no reason.
“No, I didn’t hear that. But why did you call me?”
I asked in a slightly curt voice. But, as always, with a friendly smile, Roel grabbed me by the shoulders and dragged me into the room. I could feel the strange scent from somewhere in Roel.
“It’s vacation now. If you are thinking of going on a trip like the last time with hyung, let me know in advance-“
“I’m busy. I decided to train with Professor Lycan during the vacation. It starts tomorrow.”
She didn’t have to listen to the end, so she cut off Roel’s words and expressed her intention to refuse.
For some reason, when Roel heard the name Lycan, his eyes were filled with sympathy. Anxiety settled in a corner of my mind in an instant.
“Ross… Have you been struggling a lot? I’d rather ask my brother…. Anyway, such a choice….”
I swallowed my saliva reflexively at the sight of Roel muttering like that. You could tell in his voice that Roel wasn’t joking.
“Well, we already promised. You should think of training hard this time.”
Contrary to my inner desire to run away right away, I pretended to be as calm as possible. It was a petty pride that he did not want to appear weak in front of Roel.
Roel nodded his head as if he was proud of me.
“As expected, my brother…. Now you’re really grown up Even though it’s vacation, I’m thinking of training hard… !!!”
I turned away from Roel, who gave me a burdensome look. All of a sudden, I could see things being sorted out in my field of vision. It was an expensive suitcase, so there was a magic to expand the space, and the bedside was ready to fit more clothes than the suitcase size.
It seems that he is thinking of leaving the academy for a while in order to solidify himself with the heroines, following the flow of the original work. Pretending not to know, I asked with a curious expression.
“Where are you going?”
“Yes, I decided to stay at Flavia’s villa during the vacation. If it wasn’t for Professor Lycan’s training, I’d take you too. Too bad.”
If I had accepted Roel’s proposal, I might have had to see Flavia’s blatant notice every day. The nervous breakdown may recur.
“Good. Come play hard, hyung needs a little rest.”
Right from next year, all sorts of events will put pressure on Roel. It was my sincerity that I wanted to spend a happy time with the heroines without any worries even now.
“Do you think you intend to catch up while I am resting?”
I pretended not to notice Roel’s mischievous smile.
“Is that the end of the reason for calling?”
“Yes. It is, but… Shall we have dinner together? I heard that there is a barbecue restaurant in the capital. It’s run by an alchemist, and the seasoning combination is no joke.”
Since it’s a barbecue restaurant run by an alchemist, I was honestly attracted to it, but I shook my head.
“It’s okay. You have something to prepare for training tomorrow, and weren’t you originally planning to leave in the evening?”
“Right. Still, I can make time to eat with my sister~ You just have to go to the villa a little late.”
From nob le mt l dot com
No, Flavia would have prepared dinner for Roel by setting her head on fire.
If you find out that the long-awaited dinner with your boyfriend didn’t go through because of her brother who doesn’t like her…. I’d rather eat barbecue alone.
I pretended to be nothing, tidying up my bangs, and asked insinuatingly to find out what I was curious about.
“I’m sorry, but it’s okay. I’d rather have dinner with you yesterday. Dinner would have been fine.”
“Huh? Of course I thought of that too! When I went to the club room, you weren’t there, so I just ate at the restaurant?”
I felt strangely satisfied with Roel’s answer. Ellie did not meet me as a substitute for Roel. It really made time for me.
“They seem to have crossed paths.”
At my words, Roel shrugged her shoulders with a smile and started putting the clothes in her carrier.
I asked, scratching my cheek.
“Can I help you?”
“Thank you, but if I want to sort it out later, it’s easier for me to do it. It’s easy to remember where things are.”
This is a very sympathetic statement. The feeling that brothers have one thing in common is added. Turning my head to Roel, who carefully tucks in his clothes, I asked as if passing by, observing the yellowed wallpaper.
“… How did things go with Eli?”
At my words, I felt Roel freeze and stop her movement. Roel, who was silent for a moment, stopped tidying his clothes with a sigh and came closer to me.
Seeing Roel scratching his head with an awkward expression made me feel uncomfortable.
“Actually… I asked you out for dinner because I had something to confess to you. The day you and Ellie came to visit me… After you left, I talked to Ellie for a long time. Ellie confessed her heart to me, and I… I asked for some time to think.”
At Roel’s words, I felt an inferiority complex seething from the bottom of my emotions. How could Ellie’s confession be postponed? As if reading my thoughts, Roel spoke as if making excuses.
“As you know, there are many women by my side. It’s different from the love you usually think of. I wanted to give Ellie enough time to think.”
As Roel said, becoming a new member of the harem requires a lot of determination. I was a writer, but I will never understand that heart in my lifetime.
Roel’s harem was just a copy of her popular cliché. Sharing someone’s love… I still wondered if I was truly loved.
Roel continued her speech.
“After meeting you and Luna yesterday, I met Ellie at lunch. We had another serious conversation, and I made it clear to Ellie what it cost to be my lover and what I couldn’t give.”
If it was Roel’s personality, he would have said his flaws openly. To always be sincere with others. Because that was one of the reasons Roel was loved.
“… Still, Ellie decided to join me. She said she was happy just being with me…. So, I started dating Ellie from yesterday. Everyone happily accepted Ellie.”
I looked away from Roel. As I was looking at a different place with a slightly crooked posture, I noticed something different from usual.
Then the question was resolved. Was it…. I smiled bitterly.
“Ross, I really want to make Ellie happy. She has no intention of loving anyone less than others, and will fill her affections without want. I can promise you.”
Looking at me, I smiled at Roel’s expression. Why are you promising me that? Once my only friend, childhood friend? Or is it someone I once had a crush on?
Repressing my seething heart, I smiled with a hint of ugly hypocrisy.
“Believe me. Because I thought it would be like that if it were my brother.”
With that said, I approached Roel and patted her on the shoulder. Roel smiled happily as if he had received permission from Eli’s guardian.
Unlike Roel and the other beds in her room, which exude a subtle strawberry scent, I said in a low voice, looking at Roel’s bed with the sheets removed and two pillows on top.
“Because the only person who can make Ellie happy is her older brother.”
I am sincerely grateful that unlike Roel, I do not have the ability to express my sincerity through my voice.