14 – Who Found Whom (7)
1.
Wow, wow. Woooow.
My mind was filled with question marks, and the peculiar atmosphere of midnight made my heart palpitate unusually.
But my heart had never beaten so fast because of an atmosphere like this.
My composure······ I could say it was so great that even my blunt older brother would be impressed with it, using vulgar words.
Atmosphere was just a decoration; there was a separate factor that confused me so much.
That factor was······.
“······.”
Right next to me, sitting so close that I could reach her with just a slight move, was Ha-an. No, why? Wasn’t Ha-an the type of person to draw lines to others? Wasn’t she the kind of person who would never let anyone cross the line she had drawn!
I had thought about gradually narrowing the distance, but I never imagined that she would suddenly, and this closely, close the gap from her side.
“······.”
In addition to that, despite inviting me to come first and suggesting a quiet chat, Haan remained silent after sitting down, pouring confusion powder over me with her nonchalant behavior.
What was more horrifying than the terribly boring hours I experienced during today’s first day at work was the presence in this space right now.
My own home. My home that I returned to after seven years. A sanctuary of few emotions. Except, instead of finding solace, it seemed like I was on the verge of eternal unrest.
It felt like I might die from the awkwardness.
The seconds of silence, flowing while I sat, felt like hours.
Thinking that if I continued like this, my blood might dry up, I, who was invited to talk but faced with the thought of possibly dying, opened my mouth first.
“Uh, there, Haan… I’m not sure what story you want to tell, but if it’s difficult for you to start, can I go first?”
Any story heard from anyone had the potential to be intriguing.
Considering the countless experiences I had that ordinary people couldn’t imagine.
At least Haan probably hadn’t experienced being in prison, so sharing one of my prison stories should be enough to dispel the awkwardness.
But revealing a prison story would be disliked because of my criminal record. Where in the world would you find someone who likes a convict?
On the other hand, I couldn’t talk about my life before going to jail either.
Being a former convict or a thug, it was pretty much the same in terms of being unpopular.
No, a former convict had the variable of being falsely accused, while a thug couldn’t avoid doing something if they didn’t want to. In some ways, thugs were more unpopular.
So, the only story I could bring up now is… a story from my childhood before becoming a thug.
Well, childhood stories had their own spectacle. In a way, they could be more intense than the thug days. Yes, a childhood story should be able to capture interest and bring some entertainment.
After a quick mental shuffle to organize the story and with Kang Jin-hyuk opening his mouth, having experienced the stories of his life at the age of 15 years and 247 days.
“Well, then, let me start the story. This story takes place 12 years ago when I climbed the Ural Mountains in Siberia…”
“Manager-nim, why aren’t you doing anything?”
However, my ambitious expedition led by Kang Jin-hyuk was abruptly interrupted by the words of Ha-an, who entered like the tip of a spear.
“······Yes?”
I had opened my mouth with the expectation that even if the story she shared wasn’t explosively funny, it would at least elicit a slight chuckle. But before I could start, it was cut off, and the tension naturally dropped.
And why wasn’t I doing anything? Haven’t I done quite a lot today?
“I haven’t done nothing. I held hands with Ha-an and ran away, cooked for Ha-an, washed the dishes we ate together with Ha-an.”
Yeah, objectively speaking, I had done quite a bit today.
“······Apart from that.”
But what Ha-an mentioned as ‘doing nothing’ and what I considered as ‘really doing nothing’ seemed to be different concepts from the beginning.
So I was genuinely curious.
Whether Ha-an was hoping for me to do something specific or if she had anticipated what I would do. At this moment, I couldn’t dare to make a guess.
“If it’s not that… what is it then?”
So, when I asked directly, there was a momentary expression of surprise in Ha-an’s eyes.
Surprise soon turned into embarrassment, and embarrassment quickly transformed into resignation. Ha-an, with her cheeks slightly tinged, sighed softly and replied.
“Well······ That’s why. It’s something to do when there are only a man and a woman alone.”
“Something to do when there are only a man and a woman alone?”
“It was okay not to ask again.”
Avoiding the sharp gaze of Ha-an, who seemed dissatisfied, I pondered.
Well, something to do when there are only a man and a woman alone. If I say that, there’s only one answer.
The moment I heard Ha-an’s words, the first thing that came to mind was ‘s*x.’
However, Ha-an’s intention in saying this was not to ask me why we weren’t having s*x.
It was for a different purpose. Perhaps… “Why don’t you attack yourself in this situation where there are only two options?”
After coming to society, I spent almost all of my time in darkness.
Because of that, I was able to see dirty things to the extent that I could step on them, and I confirmed firsthand how terrible people can become.
Maybe Mr. Haan said it in that sense, and maybe from the moment I entered this house, he expected what I would do. Mr. Haan’s life seems quite spectacular as well.
However, Mr. Haan’s expectations were just delusions at this moment.
I had a considerable fondness for Mr. Haan, but it was all directed towards the trainee idol.
As a manager, it is forbidden to have any personal feelings towards the entertainers I am in charge of, and will be in charge of.
So, I answered Mr. Haan’s question with the truth as it was.
“Because a manager should not have such thoughts towards someone who might become the idol I will be in charge of.”
“What?”
“And even if, by some chance, Mr. Haan really has no intention of becoming an idol, I haven’t thought about doing anything to Mr. Haan.”
I would never do such a thing, but even if I were to suddenly lose my mind and think, “Should I give it a try?” I would surely end up dead at the hands of the young lady.
No, even worse than death… I would be eternally bound to the young lady, stripped of the right to life or death, and live a miserable life.
So, I will not do such a trashy thing, whether by my own will or by someone else’s will. I cannot.
That’s why I confidently said, “I won’t do that,” more than anyone else, but Mr. Haan pursed her lips as if she couldn’t believe it.
But she didn’t say anything like, “How can I believe that?” from her mouth.
Whether she knew that saying such things would be meaningless, or she already knew that saying such things would be worthless through experience, I couldn’t tell.
Instead, Mr. Haan turned her head away from me and spoke in a calm voice that didn’t convey any emotions.
From Noble mtl dot com
“…My life is despair. To be precise, it has been despair for the past five years.”
From the beginning, Mr. Haan’s story, which was not ordinary, continued for over an hour.
At the age of seventeen, from not knowing about the debt that had been accumulating enormously for three years, to being chased by debt collectors.
If life’s twists and turns were a path where one wouldn’t easily be left behind, Ha-an’s life story was undeniably dismal, to the point of feeling overwhelming.
Certainly, this could be described as despair. Yes.
The reason why Ha-an was so cautious of people became clear.
If placed in the same situation, I would have been wary of people too. If anything, I might have been even more cautious.
Understanding someone’s life solely through words was an incredibly arrogant thing to do, but still, I could grasp a part of Ha-an’s story.
The fact that she shared such a story meant she had opened up to me, even if just a little. Despite her stoic expression, the distance between Ha-an and me was undeniably getting closer.
In the moment of gratitude for sharing stories that could be considered wounds, Ha-an’s voice cut off my attempt to thank her.
“I told Manager-nim this story. Not because I trust Manager-nim.”
Ah, I see. She had sipped on cold soup.
I got carried away for nothing and ended up feeling lonely alone.
Due to that, my shoulders slouched, but Ha-an continued speaking indifferently, regardless of whether my shoulders dropped or not.
“I said this just to let you know that in my life, there’s no one else. An isolated wanderer with no one to protect and no one behind. That’s me.”
Ha-an paused for a moment, turned her head to look at me.
In her gaze, there was no trace of the trust or expectation she mentioned in her words.
“So, if you want to do anything to me, go ahead. There won’t be consequences.”