16 – Who Found Who (9)
1.
“No, I’m not uncomfortable. There’s no reason to be uncomfortable. I just thought Haan seemed a little uncomfortable yesterday… So I thought maybe he wouldn’t want to stay here anymore…”
If it were Haan, I wouldn’t be uncomfortable.
Compared to spending time with the dirty, vile, and violent group of people in that cramped room for seven years, being with Haan, who is only violent, is a happy thing for me.
And it’s not as lonely as living alone in this spacious house.
As I vehemently denied it, Haan furrowed his eyebrows and calmly replied.
“If you lived while caring about things like that, you would have died within a year.”
“Ah······.”
If it comes out like that, I’ll feel sorry.
Speaking so casually about a topic that can become sensitive if taken that way, I couldn’t help but feel uneasy.
Moreover, whether it was just my perception or not, the atmosphere in the house took a downturn due to my recent question and Hae-an’s answer.
If it continues like this, I’ll definitely start the day feeling down. Let’s change the topic.
I brought up the second question I wanted to ask.
“Um, Hae-an. Are you comfortable?”
“Yes. I am comfortable.”
“Oh······ That’s a relief. Yesterday, you seemed quite guarded.”
Hae-an’s caution was at an obsessive level, to the point where she changed the plates, utensils, and even the cup I was about to drink from.
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But now, in the morning, Hae-an, in comfortable pajamas, walked over with a relaxed demeanor, opened the fridge with a rustle, and drank water straight from the bottle, looking truly like the owner of this house.
If yesterday ended well, I wouldn’t have known, but it seemed like it didn’t end well, so why did she change so much?
Even I, who have experienced a lady whose mood changes a dozen times a day, found it difficult to understand Hae-an’s transformation.
But she didn’t suddenly develop an expression, and she was still expressionless······. What happened that made her stop being cautious?
To me, who was cautious about the disappearance of Hae-an’s guard, Hae-an replied,
“There’s no need for it now.”
Such a concise answer came back.
Really. It was so brief that I couldn’t understand it properly.
If we were on such good terms that she could say something concise and I could understand it just as easily, then it would be fine. But Hae-an was still too difficult for me.
“Um······ Could you explain a bit more specifically?”
“I felt comfortable lying in bed last night.”
“What?”
“The blankets were warm, the bed was soft, there was a bathroom, and the manager is good at cooking. It’s a shame to not enjoy all of this while being cautious.”
At Ha-an’s response with added content, my heart started pounding.
“So, we decided not to be cautious.”
I suppressed the overwhelming excitement and cautiously spoke to Ha-an.
“That, that means…”
“It doesn’t mean I trust the manager. People can change… no, they can reveal their true colors at any time.”
“Well, I guess so.”
My excitement was immediately shattered by Ha-an’s cold words that pierced through reality.
Having heard Ha-an’s life story, I could understand why he treated me this way.
But even for someone as composed as me, it was impossible to be unaffected by the rise and immediate crushing of excitement.
So, I shrugged my shoulders, and Ha-an added another shy word.
“…But the person who prepares the meals seems like they would be delicious.”
With those words, Ha-an blushed slightly, turned and fled into the room, her face now tinged with a faint redness.
“What was that?”
It was an unexpected side of Ha-an, but one that surprisingly suited her, and laughter naturally escaped me.
“······Ugh.”
I, who commuted to Barun Gil Enter, was sitting in the office, just like yesterday, where nothing extraordinary happened.
Although I had the authority to do street casting, I was already engaged in an intense battle with a colossal opponent named Haan C.
There was nothing as foolish as touching another fish during such a situation.
That’s why I was still inside the company, even though I could go out.
······Comparing people to fish, is that a bit strange? Well, there’s no need to bother with metaphors. Just saying that I’m too occupied with Haan C alone to pay attention to elsewhere is enough.
Having neatly organized my stray thoughts and unnecessary worries, I realized I was back in the silent office.
However, unlike yesterday, the deadly boredom wasn’t felt.
More precisely, ‘I couldn’t feel it.’ would be the right way to put it.
Because there was so much to think about Haan C that there was no room to feel bored.
Among countless thoughts about Haan C, the most crucial and headache-inducing question was only one.
‘How can I make Haan C want to become an idol?’ That was it.
From last night until this moment, I had come up with numerous answers to this dilemma.
Cooking delicious meals because she seems to enjoy eating.
Providing a comfortable sleeping environment with a good sleep lamp since she seems to like sleeping.
Giving a gift of a luxurious bath bomb because she seems to like bathing.
Or roughly coaxing her by saying, ‘If you agree to be an idol, I’ll do all these for you!’ and throwing in some bait.
Anyway, I had thought of many such answers, but every answer I came up with became useless in the face of Haan C’s one statement.
She said she couldn’t be happy and be an idol. And on top of that, what could I possibly do about it.
Perhaps, unless Haan isn’t happy, no matter what I do, the words asking me to become an idol will cut through my ears.
It’s been only two days since we met, but it’s clear that Haan is not someone who casually talks. Until she becomes happy, she won’t accept the identity of an idol.
“Well, then, what should I do…”
Adding more contemplation to my worries, my inner voice unintentionally leaked out.
“What can you do about it?”
Surprisingly, someone responded to my inner voice.
Raising my head to confirm, there was Choi Cheol-hoon with a plain crew cut, hands in his pockets, looking down at me.
“Well, do you have any worries?”
His expression, posture, attitude—nothing seemed dissatisfied, but his words were strangely affectionate.
Momentarily surprised by the unexpected kindness, I narrowed my eyes.
Without a phone, I can’t even ask my brother for advice. Right now, Choi Cheol-hoon might be of meaningful help. Yes, I asked first, so let’s try asking him for help.
“Yeah, I have. Will you help?”
“Well, there’s nothing I can’t help with. So, what’s the worry?”
“Choi Cheol-hoon, you don’t need to know. Just give me your phone. I have someone to call.”
“Huh?”
And so, I obtained a phone from Choi Cheol-hoon, allowing me to seek advice from my brother.
Hooray! Indeed, a phone! A necessity for those living in modern society!
※※※
While Kang Jin-hyuk, using Choi Cheol-hoon’s borrowed phone, made a call to the opposite s*x, at that moment, Choi Ha-an sat on the living room sofa, absentmindedly staring into space.
Suddenly, she looked left and right, confirming that no one was in the house, then sneakily laid down on the sofa.
“······.”
Spread across the contours of the sofa like blanched bracken, Choi Ha-an, in sync with its curves, gazed into the empty space and suddenly expelled the sensation she was currently feeling.
“······Comfortable.”
How long had it been since she felt the sensation of comfort?
Ha-an closed her eyes and pondered, but she couldn’t recall the last time she felt comfort.
Despite having a name like Ha-an (meaning comfort under the eaves), she lived a life far from comfortable. It was the only way she could live.
“Why is that?”
Since losing her parents, Ha-an’s life was despair personified, as if echoing her own words.
Every day Ha-an experienced was a repetition of fighting to live for today without seeing tomorrow, wrestling with nightmares of yesterday’s events.
But she gritted her teeth, opened her eyes, and endured all that despair.
It wasn’t because she had a strong desire to achieve something, nor was it because she was driven by a strong will to live.
Simply because she didn’t want to lose.
To the debt collectors trying to seize her, to the relatives harboring impure intentions and lusting after her body, to the classmate who tormented her, feeling jealous of her beauty and taking advantage of the absence of a guardian.
And to this world that took away her parents.
Against all of them, Ha-an endured those days of despair simply because she didn’t want to lose.
Despite living this wretched life, the reason she didn’t choose suicide was precisely because of this.
Choosing death for herself would mean escaping from everything that had plunged her life into despair, but she didn’t have the confidence to overcome it.
At least that’s how Ha-an saw it.
With such thoughts, she had lived in this world, and just yesterday, inevitably, she embraced the back of a stranger to endure today as she always had.
“Why did I do that?”
It was something that the original Choi Ha-an would never have done, using her cursed appearance to her advantage.
Now that Choi Ha-an had the luxury of reflecting on yesterday, she questioned why she had done something she would never have done before.
“Why did I act like I knew everything, Manager-nim?”
Someone she didn’t know, someone she had never even crossed paths with before.
Moreover, considering she had been interrogated by the police, Kang Jin-hyuk from yesterday must have been someone she should have avoided, a dangerous person.
But Choi Ha-an did not avoid Kang Jin-hyuk. Not only that, she even went as far as to approach him herself and pull him close from behind, even if he had something she wanted.
Due to the trauma caused by her uncle, Choi Ha-an was wary of any contact with others, stumbling over her words in surprise at her own actions.
“Why did you do that if you were going to be surprised?”
Choi Ha-an questioned the events of yesterday and the way she had dealt with them over and over again, wondering why.
“…Annoying.”
But the question remained unanswered.
Just like Kang Jin-hyuk was the first person to see Choi Ha-an and react that way, Choi Ha-an had never encountered someone like Kang Jin-hyuk before.
It was not like Choi Ha-an, who was extremely pragmatic, to focus on an unanswered question.
Setting aside the question, just as she was about to surrender herself to the comfort of melting her body into relaxation.
Buzz…
Choi Ha-an’s phone vibrated threateningly by her head.