83 – Because you are somewhere in this world (2)
When I opened my eyes again, a pure white ceiling covered my vision.
I wasn’t surprised. I’m stupid, I don’t have dementia. I could easily guess where this place was just by lifting the white blanket that covered my body. I exhaled lightly to shake off her drowsiness and lifted her wrist.
From Noble mtl dot com
Toduk.
My ugly hand rose through the pure white cloth and the tube inserted into my wrist was lifted along with it. But I paid no attention to the coffin and calmly looked at my wrist, which was tightly wrapped in bandages.
…
I’m really 25 years old now.
It was a funny joke. Just as I was about to bite my lip out of habit, someone grabbed my wrist.
“…”
When I looked up, I saw a familiar girl looking down at me. Her face, which looked a little like mine, showed no emotion.
“Ariya.”
“…”
When I called his name, Ari just nodded without answering. Okay. He was that kind of kid. A mysterious girl whose emotions cannot be read at all even though they have been together for over ten years. The child who stopped my suicide attempt even on the day I possessed Yuna. My only cousin who always stayed by my side without saying a word.
And my manager, whom my mother arbitrarily appointed.
…A manager.
I always felt nothing but sorry for this child.
But I didn’t have time to show any sympathy right now. I asked, taking my wrist away from Ari and looking at the ceiling.
“How much time has passed?”
Ari remained silent and held up only his four fingers. Four days. Was the lingering feeling of possession that long? I waved my hand at the child who was looking at me with a worried expression.
“It’s not that painful, so don’t worry. It’s not something that happened once or twice.”
“…”
“So, go home. I’ll take care of your discharge.”
“…”
“Just…Just tell me where my cell phone is, okay?”
“Sister.”
At that time, Ari opened her mouth for the first time. And she said a short word.
“Her aunt wants to stay here for a while.”
“…”
Mom. I see.
I pulled the blanket a little closer without realizing it. That name always made me cringe.
“So, won’t you bring me your cell phone?”
“…”
“Can’t we just pretend not to notice this time?”
“I also called the bodyguards.”
“Bodyguards? Why so much?”
“Reporters came.”
“Ha…”
This time, I was tired and cynicism came out. Reporters. I shook my head and asked sharply.
“Reporters came. How many of them came? Two? Three? No. I doubt whether even one of them really came. Did they really come? Or is my mom making a fuss?”
“…”
“Is there anyone still interested in me? No. In fact, there weren’t many people who were interested back then, so it’s an understatement to say that they still are.”
“An article also appeared.”
“It must have appeared. In a cheap online newspaper that no one will read. Are you really going to keep me locked up like this just for something like that? Seriously?”
When I asked a little sharply, Ari looked at me without saying a word. Only then did I feel embarrassed that I had gotten angry at Ari unnecessarily.
“…I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault, but I got angry for no reason.”
“…”
“So are there people outside right now? Maybe those two big guys?”
“…”
“Ha…”
Ari’s nod reminded me of the two men. Those two ignorant big guys that my mom hired. Although they were good people, they were people who unconditionally obeyed their mother’s words.
I clutched the bed sheets tightly with my hands and spoke vaguely to Ari.
“Hey, Ari. Can I ask you a favor?”
“…?”
“Go home and hide my phone somewhere else. Turn off the computer if it’s on. Mom, you can’t go into my house yet, right?”
“…”
“If you can’t get it because of mom’s orders, then at least don’t let mom peek into my private life.”
“…”
“And if possible… Could you just bring me one electronic device with internet access? There’s a novel I really want to read. Please.”
“…”
Ari didn’t say anything. But soon he quietly left. Although she was not free from her mother’s influence, she was still the only child who could be said to be on my side.
Yes. In our family, no one is free from their mother.
After Ari went out, I was lost in thought. The years of being oppressed by her mother naturally came to her mind.
And, my mother’s obsession with wanting to make me an actor somehow.
…
Where on earth did it all go wrong? Was it because my father, an old married man, suddenly married her mother, who was an aspiring actress? Or maybe the problem was that my father passed away not long after I was born?
Perhaps the fundamental problem was that her mother, who had no choice but to take over her father’s company, tried to project her abandoned dreams onto me.
And the fact that I wasn’t talented enough to make that dream come true,
There was a time when I tried to live up to her mother’s expectations. As her mother told her, she took acting classes and devoted herself to training. There were times when I felt like a star in my own right as I appeared in several roles that I had won with money and connections.
But before even a year had passed, I felt the limits of my talent. There were so many children in this world who were better at acting and prettier than me. The difference in talent was something that money and connections could not resolve.
Nevertheless, my mother did not give up. No. She didn’t want to give up.
From then on, my mother started to become excessively obsessed with making me an actor. And like all things in the world, parents’ excessive obsession was bound to ruin their children, and I was no exception. Ongoing training and privacy control. And in this oppressed environment, I became increasingly broken.
The child who grew up trapped in the name of a child actor was able to grow into half an adult only after cutting growth rings on his wrist.
“hahahaha…”
It was a story of growth that made me laugh even when I felt it myself. Her acting skills, which she learned from being hurt by her mother and wasting her life, paradoxically shined when she lived Yuna’s life instead. That was the only time I thought my experience was useful.
I was bullied at school because of my vague reputation, so that was the only time I made friends.
I also felt happy.
I also heard that I was a precious person.
That was the only time.
I quietly hugged my knees. The tube stuck in my wrist shook pitifully. If I didn’t grab the collar, I felt like I would have to bite my lip until it was torn.
I missed Ellen so much.
I wanted to see Eren’s face just once, even if just for a little while.
Her name written in the article was Kim Yuna.
I am twenty-five years old. She was found at home four days ago with her wrists slit.
Fortunately, there are no life-threatening injuries and she is currently hospitalized.
After her short career as a child actress, she appears to have been secluded in her home for a long time.
Single mother family. Her mother is a famous businesswoman. She flatly refused to be interviewed several times.
“…”
She had only been active for a short period of time and she was not a very well-known actress, so all she could find on the Internet was this. I kept repeating those few bits of information in her head.
Twenty five. Attempted suicide by slitting her wrists. She is a mother who does not seem to be very happy. She is a loner who hasn’t been out of the house for a long time.
…
Just by repeating those four characteristics, a girl’s face appeared in her mind.
Of course, this alone did not convince me that Kim Yuna was the girl I was looking for. She said there was a lot of overlap, but when she thought rationally, there wasn’t a single piece of evidence she could say for sure.
Rationally speaking, that is the case.
But my instinct was shouting:
It’s her she.
She is right.
I looked at her childhood photo attached to the article for a long time. In her flawless and bright smile, I felt a kindness that I could not dare to touch. The sight of her smiling brightly, even with her dimples, reminded me of her that night.
The look on her face when she was asked what she had done in the past, she was embarrassed and just smiled.
That alone seemed worth a look.
“Whoa…”
The unexpected harvest made me feel excited without even realizing it. It seemed as if a spark of hope was blooming in the darkness that I could not see even an inch ahead. I nodded to myself with my fists clenched.
Okay. Once her, let’s find her.
I felt energized just by having a goal.
Then the problem now was how to find Kim Yuna’s location. I was certain that she was hospitalized in a large hospital, but there were dozens of hospitals in this area alone. I could probably find them one by one, but it would take too long.
I needed a way to pinpoint her location.
After charging to some extent, I came out of the station. The sun had already fully risen, sending out warm morning sunlight. As a bit of warmth came to my cold body, I felt like my head was spinning slightly.
How can we find our actress Kim Yuna?
No. Conversely, how about letting Yoona find me? Like making a fuss in the middle of the street and making it into the news. Or at least upload a video looking for Yoona on public media.
It was truly my own idea.
It seemed like a pretty good idea, but even if it failed or succeeded, what happened after that was the problem. I was an illegal alien after all, and I didn’t like having my identity revealed.
In the worst case scenario, I might be arrested not long after meeting Yuna. If I did that, I would have to go to the police station, go through trial, be imprisoned, and then be raped by violent criminals. If I were to give her virginity to her, I would rather give it to Yoona.
Is there any way to let Yoona know about me outside of the comment window? I tried going in again to see if anything, but there was still no response.
“Whoa…”
I leaned my back against a nearby telephone pole in frustration. A permanent shelter for dogs, homeless people, and drunks. As always, there were numerous flyers stuck up there.
“…”
Now that I think about it, there are a few flyers for the criminal investigation office posted in places like this. I looked for it and, sure enough, I found several bright red business cards. The large letters that read “Specialist in Chijeong” Captured my heart.
It is somewhat of a political issue. The lover who promised to marry her has run away to this world.
In fact, the best way to find people, whether in their hometown or here, was to entrust it to a crime report agency like this.
No, if you think realistically, this might be the only way. Now that the concept of searching for it in person seems unrealistic, this might be the only option I can take.
There was just one problem. Money was needed to use this type of agency. And of course, the cost will only be 50,000 won.
There were only two ways I could choose to use this place.
You have to come up with the cost somehow.
Or look for a crazy place that will solve the problem for free.
“Whoa…”
In the end, everything is money…
Even if I decided not to use this place, I had to have at least enough basic living expenses to find Yoona.
However, there were not many ways to make money normally. It would be difficult to find a place that would accommodate me for a short period of time, even though I had an uncertain status. I looked around again, lost in thought.
“Hmm…”
All I have is a little wit and audacity. Even that wasn’t really of much use to this battered body. Nowadays, I guess I’m just an ordinary person with no talent.
No, to be exact, he is an ordinary person who used to be a mercenary. Because my body still remembers the skills I learned back then.
“Umm…”
I looked around without realizing it. Suddenly, I saw an elementary school built nearby. Children going to school with happy expressions. Their flawless faces were very oily and their clothes looked quite sophisticated. Some children were even excitedly waving their thick wallets on their way to school, as if they had received pocket money yesterday.
I remember the first time my brother gave me pocket money. I would have gone to the market with money like that with excitement.
From Noble mtl dot com
But then everything was taken away by a gangster. My older brother found it somehow and scolded me, but it was a pretty painful memory.
…
“Umm…”
…
“Umm…”
A mischievous smile appeared on me as I looked at them. It was an expression that, if Yuna had seen, would have asked what she was thinking.
I picked up all the flyers for the criminal investigation center that were on the telephone pole. And I called one of them. When the ringtone stopped and I heard the man’s heavy breathing, I grinned. There were still two options. Or raise money. Or find some crazy place that will solve it for free.
Out of these two, there was only one I could choose from now.
“…Hello.”