86 – Because you are somewhere in this world (5)
It was already late, so I couldn’t leave right away. So, I decided to go home and wait one night. In terms of time, it is a short time, less than twelve hours. If I waited that long, I could see Yoona.
But those twelve hours felt much longer than the four days in the other world.
Tension. And anxiety. All those emotions boiled deep in my heart and filled my head with hazy vapor. When I quietly close my eyes, my burning worries rise like smoke. What if Yoona goes somewhere else overnight? What if that Yoona isn’t the girl I was looking for?
Or, even if we meet, what should I do if Yoona doesn’t welcome me?
Such concerns ran through my mind.
“…”
The last worry in particular left a deep footprint on my heart. I held on to my sleepless spirit and hurriedly walked to the bathroom. Under a light bulb that didn’t turn on, I saw my reflection in a dim mirror.
It was still me there. One eye is pale and there is a burn mark on the nape of the neck. An orphan with scars all over his body. When I looked at myself in the mirror and awkwardly raised the corners of my mouth, I got goosebumps because I looked like a rag doll imitating a human just like my brother said.
How will Yoona react when she sees a day like this?
All the reactions I had imagined left small scratches. For the first time in my life, I became dissatisfied with my appearance. If only he were a little more handsome. At the very least, it would have been nice if it had been as clean as it was when it was Ellen. The chill of dawn passed by her fingertips as she brushed her face, which was difficult for anyone to love.
The price the goddess spoke of ultimately meant this.
“Ugh…”
Without realizing it, I sat down on the bathroom wall, holding her head. A light sigh escaped my mouth.
I couldn’t sleep at all. In the end, I had to spend the night with my eyes open.
“Ha…”
I sighed as the sunlight finally came. However, because I was wearing a mask, there was no white breath coming out. Once again, wearing a mask was a futile attempt to cover up one’s appearance. When I looked around, fortunately, there were many people wearing masks like me, so my behavior didn’t seem unusual. I took a deep breath and got on the bus that arrived.
Soon, the bus carrying my body started waddling towards her hospital. Today the car shook so violently that I experienced motion sickness for the first time in my life.
I kept feeling nauseous and my eyes spinning. I’ve been on carriages that shake more than this, but I felt it was of a different class. I even went down a few times because I felt like I couldn’t help but get some fresh air outside.
Am I nervous? I felt like a child going to school for the first time. I felt like I would lose consciousness if I didn’t grab my stiff new clothes with my sweaty hands.
It wasn’t until late afternoon that I was able to arrive at the hospital.
“Huh…”
I let out a deep sigh as if I had accomplished something grandiose, even though all I had to do was ride the bus. But when I saw the huge white building, I started feeling sick again. I swallowed my saliva and looked at the front door of the hospital.
…
I should have asked my brother to come with me…
Just as such a ridiculous thought was about to enter my head, I slapped my cheeks. I couldn’t hesitate after coming this far. And it might turn out that she isn’t the Yoona I’m looking for. There was already no reason to be nervous.
With such a negative perspective, I gathered my courage and went inside.
There were a lot of people inside the hospital. I felt fortunate that I would have been more nervous if I had been the only visitor. I walked towards the receptionist in front with as natural a step as possible. I felt a little reassured because I could feel that he was making a bright expression even through the mask.
“Hey…I came here for a meeting.”
“Who came to visit?”
“It’s Kim Yuna.”
“…Ah.”
But the moment I said her name, my bright expression suddenly darkened. The receptionist immediately said something to me in a cold tone.
“Are you a reporter?”
“Yes? No.”
“Then what is your relationship with the patient?”
“That…Friend…”
“I’m sorry, but Yuna Kim cannot be visited by anyone other than her guardian.”
She sternly cut her back and looked away. It seemed difficult to dig up any more information.
As expected. There’s no way it could end this easily.
I sighed and sat down in the empty waiting seat. I once again felt an aversion to the fate of being held by the legs of my pants until the last moment. If you think about it, no matter what you’ve done so far, nothing has ever been solved all at once. Either in the other world or this world. Why do they keep putting extras like me through this ordeal?
I wish I could just live a normal life like the people here.
The images of countless people appeared in the gaze cast with lamentation. A child passing by holding his mother’s hand and sucking on candy, or an old man walking unsteadily and being supported by people while saying thank you helplessly.
Perhaps, as my brother said, it was an impossible landscape for me, but even so, I kept voyeurizing the idea of an ordinary life. I leaned on her chair one last time, watching the man in a suit running away, sweating profusely.
…
“Hmm…”
He is an unusual person. I can’t believe I’m sweating like a waterfall this winter. Is it because he is so big? However, it doesn’t seem like he just gained weight, but it shows signs of training somewhere. In this world, do hospitals even need security guards of that level?
“Hmm…”
The gaze that had been cast simply out of curiosity soon began to be filled with suspicion. No matter how you think about it, that level of manpower was unnecessary for this hospital. This is not a hospital big enough to have important people hospitalized. Like me, he was a person who did not fit into this landscape.
Meanwhile, as he was crossing the middle of the hospital, he stopped in front of the elevator and answered the phone, panting. I don’t know who his opponent was, but the sight of him bowing his head in the air, so embarrassed, was pitiful. With interest piqued, I got up from my seat and slowly approached behind him.
“…Ah…Ah yes! Yes, ma’am. I’m taking good care of you. Yes. Oh, it’s just something else. It’s not like that at all.”
When I looked closer, I saw that the man was holding a half-open triangle of kimbap in his hand. It seems that this poor man wasn’t even allowed that much leisure. He hurriedly got into the elevator without even looking behind him, and I followed him along with the other people.
“Oh…Yes. I’m sorry. I’m in the elevator…Why did you get on the elevator now? That’s…”
He didn’t stop talking on the phone even inside. As if by instinct, I checked whether he was armed and then got out of the elevator with him. A name came out of the mouth of the man who arrived at his destination along with an excuse.
“Yes! Yes… Miss Yoona told me to… Yes. It’s true. It’s not a lie, ma’am. Yes…”
At that moment, I stopped walking. The man continued to run while holding the phone. And then, it stopped in front of the hospital room that was within sight of me.
“…”
He continued to wipe off his sweat and joined the other man in front of the hospital room. They exchanged a few words and leaned against the door. I don’t know what we talked about, but I was certain that Kim Yuna was in there.
And maybe she is the Kim Yuna I was looking for.
No.
I don’t know why, but a premonition that it must be her crossed her mind.
It was a moment I had been looking forward to for a long time. But when it came to the end, I couldn’t keep up my pace. It felt like something was grabbing my ankles.
These are the words I’ve heard from everyone. The words spoken by my brother, the goddess, Yuna, and Yuna herself rose like cigarette smoke. The smoke that gathered together soon formed a cloud and began to pour rain on me, who had nothing in sight.
Is it really right for me to visit her now?
As my brother and the goddess said, I was a stranger to this world. In this world. He was a wicked person whose entire body was disfigured and defiled to stay in the world of normal people. Is it right for me to visit Yoona, who has returned to her original world?
Perhaps she has already adapted to her original world and is preparing to live again. She may now be taking steps to overcome her past. I was afraid that if I visited her again, her wings, which she had spread as hard as she could, would be broken again.
And above all, if she is actually a different person from what I thought she was.
What if the person I see reflected in Yoona’s eyes is actually different from the person she thought of?
So if we become disillusioned and reluctant to each other.
…
What should I do then?
Those thoughts captured my mind.
So, although it was only for a short time, I felt like I wanted to take a step back.
“hahahaha…”
At that moment, I started laughing without even realizing it. Even though I was prepared to cross the world and even risk death, I ended up belatedly acting like a coward. Yuna, standing in front of the duke’s mansion that day, showed a similar appearance. But she didn’t choose to turn back. She just confidently raised her head and smiled at me.
Thanks to that, I was able to do crazy things in the Duke’s courtyard like I always do.
From Noble mtl dot com
Actually, I came this far because of that smile.
When I thought of her smile, it overlapped with the smile that Yuna of the original world gave me for the last time. Instead of selfishly trying to catch me leaving, she left a small favor. If you ever meet Yoona, please tell her just one word.
I had to move now just to keep my promise.
Before I even realized the fact, I was already taking steps. The sound of my footsteps echoed in the empty hospital hallway. Then the two large men guarding the door looked this way. Somehow, their appearance reminded me of the prince’s bodyguard.
I really have a bad relationship with big guys.
A small joke relieved the tension a little. Because of that, I clenched my fists tightly and stopped in front of them.
“Uh…Um…”
When I stopped, the man I saw earlier opened her mouth in confusion. But instead of looking at him, I looked at the name plate on the door.
[Yuna Kim.]
Clearly, this was her hospital room.
“Um…Over there…”
While I was composing myself again, a man spoke to me. I looked at him calmly.
“Hello.”
“Oh yes. Hello. But what’s going on…”
“I came to see Yoona.”
“Yes?”
They looked clearly embarrassed at the very familiar title. Then, when I tried to go in, he urgently blocked my way.
“Wait a minute! You can’t go in.”
“Why? I’m here to visit a friend.”
“But you can’t go in. I’m sorry, but I can’t let anyone in.”
“Then shouldn’t I just ask Yoona to come out?”
“Yes…Yes?”
Although they were large, they were extremely naive people. However, perhaps because of his strong professional spirit, he quickly and resolutely rejected my request.
“That’s not possible either. Absolutely.”
“I’ll just look at your face.”
“No.”
“Then can’t I just look at the feet?”
“That too…Sigh. No way. Just go back.”
“Hey…Ugh.”
At that time, a man grabbed my arm. Then, without realizing it, I roughly shook his arm away. That shouldn’t have happened. It was an instinctive reaction, so I couldn’t help it.
“You…”
At that moment, the man’s eyes suddenly changed. Physical resistance was like a seizure switch for these people.
“Let’s leave. No more fooling around.”
“Hey. I’m sorry, but I really need to see Yoona…”
“No. Let’s go. If you resist any longer, I will drag you away by force.”
“I…!”
A strong hand grabbed my shoulder. Then, just like the man, something welled up in my heart. Without realizing it, my shoulders and legs felt tense.
But it seemed difficult to subdue two strong men with this body. And more than anything, I didn’t want to do anything like that here. I looked at their frozen faces with my teeth clenched.
Damn it…
It’s like this until the very end. I felt like I was crying because it was unfair. I opened my mouth to plead with the man one last time.
“I…!”
Tak.
At that time, the sound of someone’s footsteps caught my attention. At that moment, the men and I all turned our gaze towards that direction.
There was a small girl wearing earphones standing there.
She was a small girl who reminded me of Illya from the other world. But we backed away from her, overcome by her inexplicable intimidation. The man holding me even stuttered and called her name.
“Uh…Ari…”
“…”
The girl approached me without saying a word. Eyes as black as the night sky looked up and down my body. She looked at me for a while and slowly walked towards me.
“Hey, Ari.”
Then a man came up behind her. Then she carefully opened her mouth.
“We’ll take care of it…”
But she lifted her hand and covered his mouth. For a split second we made eye contact. The girl who was looking at me like that lowered her hand again.
Then, he hit my shin with all his might.
“Ugh…!”
“Ari!”
At the same time as I let out a moan, startled men came towards me. But the girl grabbed me by my hair and dragged me down the hall. The men just stared at the scene without even thinking about stopping them.
“Hey…Wait…!””
“…”
I tried to resist, but because of my sore shins, I could only be guided by the girl’s hand. So the girl dragged my body until she was out of the sight of her men.
“Ugh…!”
“…”
She roughly pushed my body against the corner wall of the hospital hallway and pressed down hard on my shoulder. Even though I was shedding tears from the pain, I barely opened my mouth.
“Hey, I don’t know who it is, but please do me a favor. I need to meet Yoona.”
“…”
“It’s okay even if it’s just for a moment. So please…!”
“…”
There was still no answer. The moment I couldn’t hold back and was about to open my mouth again, the girl suddenly raised her hand.
And looking at me, she tapped her temples with her fingers.
“…Huh?”
At that moment, a vain voice escaped me without my knowledge. The girl looked at my expression and laughed.
“…”
While I was completely frozen, the girl took out her cell phone from her pocket. Then she moved her fingers in that familiar way, and she pushed the glowing screen towards me. I was startled by the sudden light and flinched, but finally opened my eyes and looked at the screen.
There, the comments I wrote on the novel were displayed.
As I looked at the screen and fell silent, the girl put away her phone with a long sigh. Then she grasped my collar tightly and opened her mouth for the first time.
“Are you Ellen?”