87 – I came to love you once again (1)
When I raised my head, the white ceiling of the hospital welcomed me again. The ceiling too. Even blankets. Clothes too. Everything is white here. I felt like if I didn’t do anything, I would be stained by that white hell and everything, even my brain, would turn white.
So, I picked up a pen and started painting the pure white paper black.
There was no purpose. I just want to leave my ugly mark on this beautiful world. At first, I continued gesturing with just that thought in mind, but gradually the finger holding the pen began to shake its head uncontrollably. Then, with a clear will, he slowly traced the shape of something.
The picture that was completed like that was, of course, that face.
“…”
I wasn’t that surprised because it was expected. Rather, as I looked at it, I felt only regret. If my memory was clearer, if I had intended to do so from the beginning, I could have drawn it much more like it. I pursed my lips in front of Ellen’s crudely completed face.
If you think about it, it was an act no different from mental masturbation. Now that I have to live without him, it might just be a distraction.
But I am not ready to accept it yet. I wanted to preserve Ellen’s traces even in this way. Eventually, I picked up the pen again and started filling in the parts that I thought were insufficient.
Good…
“…!”
At that time, I heard someone opening the door and coming in. I was shocked and tried to hide the picture, but it was already too late. I awkwardly raised my head, like a child caught doing something bad.
“…”
“Ah…Ariya.”
“Hello, sister.”
“You’re here? So…What happened to what I asked for? Huh?”
“…”
I tried to speak calmly, but Ari’s indifferent gaze was directed at the picture in his hand. Ari looked in that direction for a while and then slowly approached.
“I hid my cell phone. I also turned off my computer.”
“Ah…Yes. Good job. Thank you, Ariya.”
“What?”
Ari came over and sat down on the corner of my bed, and I very awkwardly shrank around her and hid the picture behind her. I’m sure my face will be bright red from embarrassment. I felt like I wanted to cover my face with my hands if I could.
Ari didn’t know if she knew how I felt, but she was fiddling with her bed sheets and staring blankly at her floor. Then she suddenly lifted her head and opened her cute lips.
“Sister.”
“Huh?”
“Why did you cut your wrist this time?”
“…Ugh.”
But the words that followed were not so cute. I couldn’t find the confidence to look into those clear eyes and answer, so I looked away.
“It’s just the same stupid reason as usual. You know, I just cut my wrist for nothing.”
“But this time, you did it at a different time than usual. You even drew it vertically.”
“Yeah…I did. But there’s no big reason. It’s just nothing, Ari.”
“Really?”
Ari raised her eyebrows and stared at my face again. This time, the gaze was much closer than before, so I had to turn my body to avoid it. Then Ari brought up a different story this time.
“Sister. Why did you tell me to hide my computer and cell phone?”
“That? It’s just because I don’t want my mom spying on my private life…”
“That’s not it. You’ve never rebelled against your aunt like that before. I’m sure your aunt would go into an uproar if she went into her room and saw that the computer was locked and her cell phone wasn’t there. I asked you to do that so I could take care of it. ?”
“Uh…”
I had no choice but to keep my mouth shut at Ari’s words. Did I do that? Thinking back to the last time she rebelled against her mother, memories at the Duke’s House came to mind. I think this level of defiance is at the level of cuteness compared to when he was yelling at the Duchess and being abusive to her.
How timid was I before I became possessed by Yuna?
“And sister. For someone who tried to die but survived, she’s very calm.”
Meanwhile, Ari’s questioning continued. Her face was now so close that it was difficult to look away.
“Really? I just…”
“I don’t talk to myself as much as I used to.”
“Uh…”
“I had a good time alone without a cell phone.”
“That’s…”
“I don’t even stutter much.”
“…”
When the story progressed to that point, I had no choice but to keep my mouth shut. Could it be that the social skills that Ellen had developed were revealed without my knowledge? Ari wouldn’t understand. How can people change so drastically?
There was absolutely no excuse I could make. Before I knew it, Ari had approached me to the point of being burdensome and made eye contact with me, almost ready to lick my body. I closed her eyes tightly and just waited for the time to pass.
“…I came back to life after death. I guess the person has changed.”
With a gentle word, the body temperature that had come close moved away in an instant. Ari stood up with an expressionless face as if nothing had happened.
“I’ll go. Rest.”
“Ah…Yes. Thank you, Ariya.”
“Yes. Oh, and my sister.”
From Noble mtl dot com
Just before she left the hospital room, Ari suddenly looked behind her. She then said her words with an indifferent expression.
“Don’t be too surprised.”
“Huh?”
Thump.
…
Before I could reply, the sound of the door closing rang. I had to struggle with that puzzling word for a long time. Don’t be surprised. What on earth does it mean?
I don’t know, but it seemed clear that I would be surprised when I found out the meaning of those words.
“…Ugh.”
I sat leaning against the cold wall, holding my shins that were still sore. The unidentified girl said she had something to check and gave me a short message telling me to wait here, in the men’s bathroom, and then left somewhere.
Who on earth is that girl? I didn’t know if it would be a helper or another hindrance, but it seemed worth listening to the story. At least she didn’t tell me to f*ck off.
Luckily, the wait wasn’t that long. Soon, a small shadow began to rise above my head.
“…”
I raised my head and made eye contact with the unidentified girl again. The girl was giving me a meaningful look, as if she was contemplating my appearance.
“…”
I didn’t know how to react, so I just smiled. Then the girl crossed her arms and slowly opened her mouth.
“So.”
“…”
“What’s your relationship with your sister?”
“Hmm…”
How should I explain this? After thinking about it, I had no choice but to tell the truth.
“Friend.”
“My sister has no friends.”
“It’s my boyfriend.”
“I don’t even come out of my room, let alone out of the house, so what’s wrong with my boyfriend?”
“Well…I guess so.”
But the girl crushed that truth with another truth. I couldn’t find anything to answer, so I agreed with what the girl said. Then she frowned and said…
“You sound like you know my sister well.”
“Yes. Because we are really friends. By the way, are you an older sister? Are you by any chance Yoona’s younger sister?”
“Cousin. Manager. You say we’re friends, but you don’t even know that? Didn’t your sister tell you?”
“Yoona doesn’t talk about herself often.”
“…Yeah. I guess so.”
This time the girl agreed with me. She frowned even more and twisted her lips roughly.
“I’m not being sarcastic. I mean, if it were my sister, she would really have done that.”
“Then do you believe me?”
“About half. Because there are things about you that suddenly changed overnight. Maybe it’s because of you.”
“It’s a bit embarrassing because it’s all thanks to me.”
“That doesn’t mean I trust you. Because there’s a possibility that you’re a fraudster, right? Maybe you’re a crazy person who took advantage of my sister’s favorite novel and lied to her by lying about him being a character in that novel? Who knows? Okay.”
“You saw that novel too?”
“Yes. I saw the whole thing. And I also saw the comments you left. It was outrageous. She was looking for Eren, and you were saying crazy things, saying she was Eren. It was such a ridiculous scam that it almost made me laugh out loud. You thought the same too. Summer solstice?”
The girl’s suspicions had a lot of validity. But the only answer I could give was the truth, which had little basis. Still, since that was all I had, I looked up at her and answered.
“Hmm…But I’m really Ellen.”
“So, you’re the character who suddenly jumped out of the novel?”
“It’s not a novel, it really happened.”
“Is there a way to prove it?”
“No, but I can at least explain what happened. How about it?”
“No need. Honestly, I don’t know if I can convince you if you talk about it all night.”
Distrust grew without end. No matter how much I thought about how I could persuade this girl, I had no idea.
“… And the reason why my sister suddenly changed. I don’t think she will understand even if I listen to it all night.”
But the girl soon uncrossed her arms and this time put her hands in her pockets. Then she looked at me with a softer expression.
“Are you a fraudster or the real Eren? I don’t know that. But what’s clear is that strange things are happening that I can’t understand. My sister changed overnight. A foreigner who is too stupid to be a fraudster has betrayed her. The one who ran to me calling me Ellen.”
“…”
“And, for some reason, I don’t know why I feel like I want to trust you.”
“What does that mean?”
“So my conclusion is…”
The girl slowly pulled her hand out of her pocket while squinting one of her eyes. She then held out her little hand towards me.
“First of all, I need to let you meet her sister.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I’m not sure what happened, but I’m sure she has changed positively.”
“So, you’re saying you’re going to let her in now?”
Her sinking heart suddenly swelled with anticipation. But she looked like the girl was a little troubled.
“Um…But that’s not true. I don’t have the authority to do that.”
“Why? You can just tell those big guys.”
“Those people only listen to what their aunt says. If I told you to meet my sister, they would first report it to her aunt.”
“Then how can I meet Yoona?”
“Well, first you have to prove that you are Ellen.”
“What does that mean?”
“Reading the novel, Ellen competently overcomes any situation.”
“Huh? Well…Yeah. I did.”
“So. Even in this situation, we can do something, right?”
A mischievous smile suddenly appeared on the girl’s face. When I saw that expression, an indescribable anxiety began to rise. The girl looked at me and slowly opened her mouth.
She then screamed with all her might.
“aaah! Guys! Help me!”
“…!!!”
A sharp voice cut through the quiet interior of the hospital. I was so startled that I grabbed the girl’s shoulder and asked urgently.
“What…What are you doing!”
“I’m going to let you in.”
“What does that have to do with this?”
“If you do this, the guys will come running here. Then, you can use your martial arts skills to beat them both up and then go see your sister. Right?”
The girl smiled calmly and squinted her eyes. She said it wasn’t a bad idea at first, but it had a huge blind spot.
“But this is a hospital. If I do this, not only the men but also the nurses will come running, right?”
“Huh? Oh, that’s right.”
“No, really…!”
Even while I was embarrassed, the girl just smiled. It seemed like he really believed that I would somehow get through it.
…
In that case, I really had no choice but to do something.
“Okay. Then do it like this.”
I briefly shook her head, gave the girl instructions, and hurriedly ran into the next bathroom. Soon, two loud footsteps rushed into the bathroom, and I quickly closed the door and hid inside.
“Miss! Are you okay?”
“Ah…Ugh… Black…”
Like experienced bodyguards, they came inside before anyone else and checked the girl’s condition. And soon after, the footsteps of nurses who arrived late echoed on the ground. As soon as they arrived, they urgently shouted to the girl.
“What’s going on over there? Guardian? What happened?”
“That…That…”
When she looked through the crack in the door, she saw a girl with her clothes loose and people approaching her. It was a reassuring sight at first glance, but she began to shrink as people got closer. And when the two men in front of her came within arm’s reach, she uttered one word.
“Those men touched me…”
…
“…Huh?”
At the girl’s words, the nurses’ expressions suddenly changed. Her men reached out to the girl with very embarrassed expressions.
“Oh…No, something like that. Hey Ari, what is that…”
“Well… Those men tried to touch me. Suddenly, they started taking off my clothes… And even touched my panties…”
“No! Ari, what do you mean?”
“aaah! Don’t come closer! Someone help me!”
“Ah…That’s not true! It’s really a misunderstanding! This!”
The men reached out to the girl once again. Then one of the nurses who was watching shouted courageously.
“Don’t move! You criminal!”
“It’s not true! Please believe me. I’ve never even held a woman’s hand…”
“Stay still! For some reason…It seems like you’re always flirting with that little girl!”
“No!!!”
They shouted at the same time, and in an instant, the bathroom became chaos. Nevertheless, as the men approached the girl until the end, the nurses also moved to stop them. Soon, several shadows passed in front of the partition where I was hiding.
At that moment, I kicked out the door.
Even though I opened the door a little roughly because I was in a hurry, the nurses didn’t notice. But even then, the men pointed their fingers in this direction as if they had seen me.
“Hey…There…!”
“I told you not to move!”
Fortunately, the nurses at this hospital had a strong professional spirit and went out of their way to protect the girl until the end. But it didn’t seem like it would last that long. Therefore, I ran down the hospital hallway without even being able to thank them for their kindness.
“Whoa…Haa…”
When the moment finally arrived, the breath that naturally rose up hung on the tip of my chin. Scenes of the hospital hallway passed before my eyes. I turned the corner and headed into the ward, almost tripping.
Boom!
“…!!!”
A sound like something collapsing sounded from behind. It’s definitely not good news. I urgently searched the ward doors one by one with my eyes. Soon, Yoona’s name began to appear in front of me.
Boom! Thud!
“Ugh…!”
A sound rang from behind again. There was no time to delay any longer. It was a moment that came too suddenly compared to what I had been waiting for. I opened the door straight away without even having time to laugh at that trivial fact.
“Huh?”
A voice like a scream came from inside. Suddenly, I remembered the day I first fell asleep in her room. The girl who was possessed by a villainess hated by fate and the world. There was no way to convey her warmth to the woman trapped in her deep, dark room, so she relieved her feelings with a deep kiss on the ear.
After so much time and fate passed by, I was finally able to hold the doorknob of that room.
At one time, I thought that the room must be narrow and dark. I was worried that it might be full of mold and dust like the place I used to live.
But that wasn’t the case.
Rather, her room…
…So blinding. Everything was shining white.
Boom!
…
From Noble mtl dot com
Thump.
…
…
…
“Ha…Ha…”
“Huh…?”
“Ha…Ha…”
“Uh…Yeah…”
A girl was seen on a white bed in the corner of the hospital room. Her pitch black eyes shone brightly through her extremely tangled hair.
“Ha…Ha…”
“…”
The girl looked at me and opened her mouth blankly. She stuck her head out cutely, one of her front teeth between her light pink lips.
“Ha…Ha…”
“Over there…”
The girl raised her voice cautiously, as if she was asking who I was. But it soon fell helplessly to the floor. A strange intuition. The feeling is. I have a feeling. It seemed like an idea occurred to me.
I had that thought. If I ever see her, I’m sure she’ll recognize me at a glance.
Maybe that was the same for Yoona too.
“Ha…Ha…”
There were definitely things she had decided to say when they met. I think there were hundreds, but I couldn’t remember a single one.
“You…”
Yuna also tried to say something, but her mouth was shut again. Then, her eyes suddenly caught the paper and pen she was holding in her hand. When she saw that, it made me laugh too.
“Yoona.”
I called her name. The pronunciation, which was still a bit awkward, made Yuna’s eyes tremble. I pondered that expression and grabbed her lowered collar.
And then, he said something that felt too trivial to say at this moment.
“Are you still studying here?”
…
Yuna bit her lip. Don’t do that. She wanted to say that her pretty face was hurt. Only after a small scratch appeared on her chapped lips did she finally open her mouth.
“L…”
“Lady!!!”
But before that, a man’s desperate voice rang out. I laughed helplessly as I felt the vibrations rushing to my back.
Really. I won’t leave you alone till the end.
Boom!
“Ugh!”
Someone roughly slammed into the door. It felt like if I hit it one more time, it would fall right off.
What should I do? As I was pondering, the darkened scenery outside suddenly came into view. I burst out laughing and called Yuna.
“Yoona.”
“Huh…?”
She looked at me with a still confused expression. I didn’t want to do this either, but I had no choice.
And actually, it’s a shame that I took the elevator to see Yoona.
It was a self-deprecating joke. Still, for now, it seemed like there was no other way.
“Could you please open the window?”