103 There is an ugly me inside me
***[Heroine Oscar]***
Katrin’s moaning could be heard weakly in the darkness.
today as always.
After seeing the bloody men at the New Year’s banquet, Catherine has nightmares almost every night.
“Catherine.”
I called her in a low voice, but she didn’t wake up.
A sobbing groan broke out again.
It is not very common for aristocratic women to see blood.
Some of the older women may be familiar.
You must have gone through many small and large wars.
However, in normal cases, the women and children of noble families are the first to be protected in case something happens.
A woman as young as Catherine had few opportunities to see the horrors.
Besides, this time it was too cruel a sight even for a man to see.
The shock would have been great.
He didn’t tell me what he was dreaming about, but I wondered if he was looking at the child that day.
Every time she has a nightmare, she wakes up crying.
I raised my upper body a bit.
As Katrin moved in her arms, her soft golden hair scattered over the covers.
Still holding her with one arm, I reached for the prepared candle.
As soon as I applied magic power, a small spark appeared at the tip of my finger.
When I waved my hand, the flame immediately left my hand and flew towards the candlestick.
Six candles lit and the area near the bed was bright.
I stroked Catherine’s hair with my free hand and called her again.
“Catherine, wake up. It’s a dream.”
After a few whispers in her ear, Katrin finally opened her eyes.
Katrin looked at me with wet eyelashes fluttering and blurry eyes.
Tears quickly filled Catherine’s eyes as she confirmed my appearance.
“… Mr. Oscar… don’t go… no… no…”
I guess I haven’t woken up yet.
“It’s okay, it’s a dream.”
“… no….”
I can’t seem to hear what I’m saying.
Katrin stretched out her arms with tears in her eyes and hugged me tightly around my neck.
“… can’t go… it’s dangerous… sore throat… blood… no… don’t go…”
Catherine’s teary eyes shook in the light.
Was the nightmare she kept having about me?
‘So you never told me.’
Maybe he was afraid that if he said ominous words, it would become reality.
“It’s okay, Catherine. I won’t die. I’m a very strong person. I’m stronger than anyone else in the world.”
Like soothing a whining child, I whispered the same thing over and over again.
A gentle stroke on her back loosens her body a bit.
Half awake, she closed her eyes again after a while.
But there are still tears flowing from the corners of my eyes.
‘He’s so brave during the day.’
She’s doing great as a duchess, but she’s still the same with rhinos and ponies.
She was bright, cheerful, and a bit odd, just like Catherine.
But now she is like a child who lost her mother in a crowded market.
Frightened and weak, he seemed helpless.
It’s sad, but at the same time I’m happy.
I realize how much this cute kid loves me.
As I measured how much she loved me with my eyes, deep inside I was relieved.
‘How ugly a human being is.’
no i’m ugly
I took a small breath.
It seems that the wounds of betrayal left by his ex-wife were much deeper than he thought.
Seeing that they are relieved by things like this, yes, it seems that way.
Beneath the slightly covered scar, there might still be a large open wound.
‘I’m sorry, Catherine.’
He is an adult who is more than three times older than her in his previous lives, but he is so ugly and weak.
When I realized that I depended on her love as much as she depended on me, I felt so sorry for myself.
I continued stroking her hair until the sound of her breathing turned into a quiet, deep breath.
*
In the morning, the image of crying and having a nightmare the night before was gone.
Katrin is as strong and courageous as always.
It seems that he realized that I was watching from the window of his office.
Catherine raised her head.
When our eyes met, her eyes lit up.
If you are afraid enough to have nightmares, you will definitely be anxious when you wake up.
Maybe even now, a corner of her mind is fighting anxiety.
But it was hard to guess from her face now.
I have no idea.
If I hadn’t heard the contents of yesterday’s dream, I would still have thought she was having nightmares about the child she saw at the New Year’s banquet.
“…”
Not knowing that I was already guessing her dreams, Katrin smiled at me.
He doesn’t seem to remember at all that he told me the content of the dream.
Even if I cry in a place I don’t know, I smile so as not to worry.
‘She who used to be like a child has grown up without realizing it.’
The emotion that parents would feel grew a little in their hearts.
“…”
No, when I feel like this, I get more and more distant from the couple.
Love definitely exists, but if done wrong, it will be covered by parental love.
Even if you miraculously raise them well, you will only end up like a brother and sister.
I stepped on the buds of emotion that had grown small and waved a little to Katrin, who was still smiling at me.
Katrin’s smile grew wider, and her arms wavered.
No, the lady shouldn’t wave her arms like that.
‘cute.’
No, my father’s heart grows like a weed again.
I waved my hand one last time and turned away from the window.
You shouldn’t keep playing forever.
let’s work now
When I raised my gaze, the aides in the office were staring at me.
Single single, he looks at me with his father’s smile.
“Duke.”
One opened his mouth with a smirk.
I avoided the gaze of my aides with a slightly reddened face.
“Don’t do it. Even if you don’t tell me, you know I’m doing something embarrassing.”
At my words, the aides’ smirks flowed here and there.
“I just had something to report to the Duke.”
But at the end of the words, there is a sound of laughter.
please stop laughing
I covered my face with my palms.
Since Catherine entered this house, the dignity of the duke seems to have fallen to the ground.
‘No, did something like that exist in the first place?’
I’ve seen them since I was very young, so I don’t think I had any dignity, and I’m not sure.
After clearing his voice, the aide opened his mouth again.
“A sales report has arrived from an official at the store.”
The smile from before had disappeared.
It seems that he has returned to serious work mode.
I also took my hands off my face and headed for my desk.
‘Ha, my heart suddenly feels heavy.’
For this year’s New Year’s banquet, magic tools developed by Sven began to be sold at merchants.
However, there are more people who don’t know than people who know what heating and cooling magic tools are used for.
Even the price is quite expensive, so I was expecting that it wouldn’t sell a lot.
It’s a bit word-of-mouth, but it will take a lot of time for many families to know how useful it is.
So, this banquet was very important to the duchy.
It had to be properly promoted at banquets to increase sales.
However, the banquet in the royal palace has been suspended, and the families whose countermeasures against the beast are incomplete seem to be preparing to go down to the territory.
Many families seem to be staying, but the banquets of several families have been canceled one after another.
The palace banquet has been canceled, but few families can go ahead as planned.
Even if you open it, it will be small.
In fact, all the places that were scheduled to be held on a large scale were canceled or contacted that they would be opened with a reduced scale.
This year, a banquet was planned to be held at the duke’s house, but it was canceled altogether.
Even if other places hold large-scale banquets, our duchy is in trouble.
If you do it wrong, it will become the appearance of replacing the royal family.
However, it was pity for Catherine to open on a small scale.
It’s the first banquet she leads, but it’s only because it’s small and shabby.
In the end, I had no choice but to cancel.
‘ha. What if none of the magic tools were sold?’
I let out a small sigh.
I’m afraid to look at the report.
When he remembered Sven’s twinkling eyes, which he expected his name to spread all over the world, his heart felt heavier.
‘hmm…?’
Picking up the report, my head tilted slightly.
The report, which I thought would be only one or two pages long, is surprisingly thick.
weird.
It may not have been a report written directly by the Chamber of Commerce, but this document was written by our official.
Only necessary information will be written.
‘But why is it so thick?’
In this world, the paperwork system is somewhat vague.
The store counts sales properly, but it was simply a form of writing down what and how much was sold that day.
Neither large nor small merchants, nor properly organized ledgers by item and period existed.
There is no unified form.
Every business association has its own writing, and even within a business association, each branch has a different writing method.
For that reason, the officials of the duke’s family went out and tallied our belongings separately.
I sat down and skimmed through the contents of the report with my eyes.
ㅇㅇ Family crest, 5 cooling magic tools.
GMP family crest, 10 cooling magic tools, 10 heating magic tools.
ㅇFamily, 50 cooling magic tools, 50 heating magic tools.
….
The purchased family, date of purchase, item, quantity, price, and such things were written all over the place.
Contrary to what I thought, a huge number of families bought magic tools.
Since the number of magic tools is limited, it was written that the family that came later had only reserved them without purchasing them.
The reservation list is longer than the buyer.
I realized that the names of the families were familiar.
‘This.’
These are the families I warned about the Witchbeast in letters.
The families of the wives I met when I attended the banquet introduced by Countess Becker were also mixed.
This is how I returned my gratitude for the Witchbeast Warning.
When I finished reading the report and looked up, the aides were laughing with their eyes shining like mischievous children.
Everyone seems happy.
‘But these people didn’t say anything on purpose to see my reaction.’
If I had known in advance that there was a lot of sales, I wouldn’t have been so nervous, but I was a little embarrassed.
‘Naughty bastards.’
I looked at the aides with a little bit of strength in my eyes, but they were still smiling.
I’m glad that my reaction was the way I thought it would be.
well, i’m happy too
I didn’t expect anything in return, but when gratitude comes back secretly in this way, it’s strange, but my heart is happy.
I felt that the other person recognized my sincerity.
I cleared my throat to hide my embarrassment, then opened my mouth.
“Once you use a magic tool, you will come to buy it yourself without having to promote it. Our magic tools are really convenient.
At my words, the aides smirk.
“Of course, Duke.”
“For the time being, artisans will suffer.”
“The merchant asked if they could increase the supply a little more.”
“There is no increase in supply. For the time being, we will sell at this amount. It is better to have things that cannot be obtained due to shortages than to have surplus items.”
A smile appeared on my face as I answered.
I can’t hide my joy
If the magic tools sell well, you can use the money to repair the walls and buy weapons again.
And to prepare for the future, food could be brought in from abroad.
As I pictured countries and regions where grain is cheap, I put my hand on the pile of papers.
Areas affected by demons will also need to provide some aid.
It’s not good to stand out too much in the eyes of the royal family, but if you don’t repair the walls right away, you’ll be damaged by the demons again.
Many people will lose their livelihood and starve to death right away.
Aid is also needed to rescue such people.
‘It would be good to lend a little money to a precarious family.’
Officials have already been dispatched to such territories to secretly consult doctors, but it would be better to hurry.
‘By the way, when will the investigator’s next report come?’
The investigator in charge of Gleuk’s background investigation sent a new report a while ago.
It contained the word curse of proverbs.
It seems that there is another problem other than the increase in rats and pests.
Even the investigators don’t seem to know exactly yet.
Another investigator went to the temple Countess Becker told me about.
The temple is said to be a place of study and prayer for the gods.
A detailed report has not yet been uploaded on the other side.
For the time being, the increase in the number of monsters was stopped, but the number of them was still increasing in unknown places.
The number of offspring is not declining.
If you don’t figure out what the Goddess’ Wrath is, it will get harder and harder.
After looking at the papers for a while, I closed my eyes for a moment.
I looked at the text so intently that my eyeballs seemed to fall out.
“Duke, if your eyes are tired, lean back on a chair.”
The young butler who was serving on me came over to my side.
The young butler placed a small neck pillow on the upper part of the chair and laid my body slightly back.
As I leaned back in my chair and raised my face, the butler placed a long folded towel over my eyes.
Inside the towel was a long piece of cloth thinly quilted with grain flour.
It’s like a heat pack.
I put it on a warm stone, and the young butler put it on my eyes whenever I was tired.
After doing that for a while, I stood up, and this time the tea was smoking on the desk.
“Thank you. Thanks to you, my eyestrain has been relieved.”
I smiled, and the young butler’s face blushed slightly.
It seems ashamed and proud of being praised.
The eyes shone brightly.
After the young butler bowed his head dignifiedly and stepped back, I took a sip of tea and read the papers again.
Before I knew it, it was snowing outside the window.
It snows a lot this year.
‘There shouldn’t be any places that get hurt by the snow.’
In a world where there is no snow removal equipment and even salt is expensive, too much snow is a disaster.
I let out a small sigh.