149 The lady is broken.
***[Catherine, Duchess]***
not motivated
everything is annoying
I know I shouldn’t be like this, but once you get something you want, you can’t let go.
When living apart from Oscar-sama, meeting once in a while was fun and happy, and it became a support to endure until the next time we meet, but I really can’t stand it when we are together every day and then fall apart.
I really want to see you die in an hour.
It happens every hour, every hour it seems like I’m dying and I’m lonely, ha, I’m dying.
“It would have been nice if I was Poo Woo.”
As I murmured with a deep sigh, the ladies-in-waiting next to me giggled.
Anne opened her mouth with a serious face.
“But Madam, if that happens, you won’t be the Duchess. You won’t be able to stay in the same room as the Duke or go to a banquet together. At most, you can only enter the building and find a few rooms on the first floor.”
The maids’ laughter grew louder.
Anne, metaphor, metaphor.
You know, why do you take it seriously like persuading an idiot?
After glancing at her slightly, Anne let go of her pretense and spoke again.
“If you keep drooping like this, the godfather says you’re not suitable as a duchess.”
“Stop! Anne! Why are you saying scary things!”
“I’m your lady-in-waiting. My evaluation depends on your wife’s actions. So, be motivated!”
Anne suddenly raised her fist.
The ladies-in-waiting muttered with dreamy expressions.
“It’s my help.”
“For the betrothed.”
“Last time I saw Anne who met her fiancé in the hallway.”
“I saw it too. He looked completely different from here. He was shy and his cheeks were red.”
no, i envy you
But the meeting probably wasn’t a coincidence.
It must have been ambush at the time my fiancée is most often around.
It was a method that my aunt used at the palace to catch the eye of Count Becker when she was a virgin.
At that time, Auntie dropped a handkerchief or fan and had Count Becker hand it over, or intentionally showed a scene where Count Becker’s competitor made her uncomfortable, or something like that.
Of course, keep enough escorts and maids nearby so that they are not noticed.
‘My aunt especially emphasized that part. A woman should always be in a safe state at all times.’
Come to think of it, I’ve never used that kind of method with Oscar-sama.
I just foolishly rushed straight ahead.
I want to see it, I like it, I like it, I like it.
Of course, it is still very good.
“If I had a more sophisticated approach… would Oscar-sama take me this time too? Why, you know, it’s so good I can’t leave it! I’d die of loneliness if I dropped it! What if another guy took it! Things like that. I wish I had disguised myself as a pitiful, sleazy woman.”
The ladies-in-waiting met each other’s eyes and made troubled expressions.
“that….”
“ma’am.”
“…”
Anne let out a small sigh and shook her head.
“Everyone can’t bear to say it, but I think it’s more difficult for you to do that than for a crow to become a peacock. Someone who is enchanted by the thought of Mrs. Oscar just by looking at the face of Mrs. Hiding access? That’s nonsense. I’m sure it’s impossible.”
Another court lady carefully interjected.
“Besides, madam, I can’t imagine the Duke talking to you like that.”
“That’s right. The Duke is absolutely not that kind of person.”
“The Duke is a very gentle and kind person, but, to put it mildly, I don’t think he would do that to a woman. He’s too rational for that, or he doesn’t seem to fall in love. I don’t hear it at all.”
“Certainly, the duke is not the type to fall for women.”
“Of course, I’m sure you care about your wife.”
Mari, who had been quiet until now, suddenly opened her mouth.
“But that’s why I think the duke and the wife are compatible. If the wife had hidden her heart and used her skills like other women, the duke probably wouldn’t have cared for her like he does now. In my eyes, the biggest reason the duke cares for his wife. Maybe that’s his personality.”
Marie is not originally a duke.
Oscar was the daughter of the Count who bought the wheat.
It is said that after the death of her husband, she returned to her parents’ house.
If a child was born, it would have stayed in the city, but a woman who did not give birth to a child usually returns to her parents’ house if there is no particular reason.
This was the case with her too, and she was in a situation where she had to get married again by order of her father, but Oscar-sama told her mother and brought her here.
The other ladies-in-waiting were all from duke’s vassals, but she was different.
Still, it’s probably because Marie is an ardent devotee of Oscar.
I don’t like men
She devoted all her love to her dead husband, and she looked up to Oscar as the one who had saved her.
It feels like he likes his wife Catherine as well.
Oscar and his mother say that she and Catherine look a lot alike, but well, I’m not sure.
Since she was the only lady-in-waiting who had ever been married, she was the most knowledgeable about relationships between men and women, and everyone was looking for advice from her.
Same goes for Catherine.
I want to get help from my aunt, but she is too far away.
Maybe that’s why Oscar-sama and his mother called Marie.
A married woman from a ducal family is someone to be wary of, and it would be difficult to treat her without hesitation.
In that respect, since Marie was not a member of the duke’s family, she was rather comfortable, and her personality was easygoing and unpretentious, so it was easy to ask her something.
But all of that is only meaningful when Oscar is present.
It’s useless.
My desire fell endlessly to the ground, and only gloomy thoughts filled my head.
I was lying limp and half lying on the sofa when an attendant came in.
“Madam, the dame wants to see you for a while.”
The person in charge of the housekeeping of the duchy is the mother, the godmother, but the hostess of this family is Catherine.
When mother had business with Catherine, instead of calling, it became a form of asking for a visit time and coming.
Katrin doesn’t care if she visits, but her mother doesn’t.
If you do that, the dignity of the duchess will not stand, and you have been asking questions like this all the time.
This and that are all for Oscar.
Katrin straightened her swaying body and nodded her head dignifiedly.
“Tell me it’s okay anytime. It doesn’t matter whenever Mother wants it.”
“I see, ma’am.”
As the attendant withdrew, the bones that had hardened for a moment softened again.
As I fell on the sofa, Anne, who was right next to me, murmured softly.
“The power of love is amazing. To think that the tomboy girl is so proud of herself, even though she’s dying to die, Anne is really proud and happy… I feel like my heart is calming.”
It was so low that no one could hear it, but Catherine could hear it clearly.
But Anne, I think I’m dying of dryness because of that love.
Plants that have been working hard for love die the moment they disappear. that’s pure
‘Ha, I really want to die.’
Katrin let out a long sigh, drooping like withered grass.
*
After a while, when my mother came to see me, I pulled myself up with effort and was looking good in my own way.
Probably.
However, as soon as Mother saw her, she frowned in concern and sighed lightly.
“Catherine, you look… Oh my God, your face has become half in a few days.”
Mother sighed again as she took her hand and sat down in a chair.
“Everybody’s worried. Katrin’s so low.”
“…”
“Is it really that hard not having Oscar around?”
“… yes.”
Tears poured out.
It’s already been over a month, and half a month has already passed.
I thought I would be back soon, but they say there are more places to visit.
From nob le mt l dot com
Just one month, just one month, I’ve been holding on like that. As the period increases, it’s really the limit now.
I want to be a real Pooh.
Mother sighed lightly and held her hand tightly.
“Catherine, you haven’t met Oscar’s father yet. He’s staying in a little far away from here, and I think we should go there and meet him.”
“…”
“I’ll stop by when Oscar returns. If I prepare and leave from now on, maybe it’ll be a good time… I’ll take a little look around the city while I’m on the way.”
As Mother’s words penetrated into my head, my eyes widened little by little.
Is Oscar coming now? Will I meet you out of town? really?
Blood began to circulate little by little on Katrin’s face.
‘I’m meeting you. I will follow the path of Oscar-nim…’
I think so, but my mother laughs.
“My eyes light up at the mention of Oscar’s name. You really like Oscar. You’re cute, Catherine.”
“mother.”
When I was drooping, power began to circulate in my body like a lie.
Her mother smiled and lightly hugged her.
“I haven’t told you about Bernd yet, have I? I’ve heard rumors, but in reality I didn’t get along very well with Oscar’s father.”
My mother talked about the discord with her ex-husband and briefly taught her about her lover and son.
Oscar-sama says that his father is not allowing him to come here.
Of course, so did the lover and son.
“Perhaps it’s because of me. It’s not desirable for you to meet them under such circumstances, but you’ll have to see Bernd at least once anyway. If you don’t know your husband’s father at all, that’s going to be a problem.”
Mother looked into Catherine’s face and opened her mouth seriously.
“The butler will go with you, so there won’t be a big problem. Perhaps the meeting will end with only a face-to-face meeting in a short time. The couple will meet for a very short time just in time for Oscar’s arrival. You will never meet alone.”
“…”
“But if you ever do talk about anything, keep in mind, Catherine. You’re the Duchess. Bernd is Oscar’s father, but he’s a man without a title. You’re the boss. Of course you don’t have to put up with his mistress and children. . If something happens that you don’t like, you can express it as it is.”
Mother mischievously winked one eye.
“Oscar doesn’t like either of them, so whatever Katrin does, that’s not a reason for her hatred. So feel free to do as you please.”
I understand, mother.
Katrin nodded vigorously, and her mother looked at her quietly and muttered.
“I don’t know if I would have lived a little differently if I had been as strong as you.”
“…”
I don’t want to be strong.
I wanted to be a weak woman who collapsed at the sight of blood and insects and fainted at the slightest surprise.
Because such a woman is popular.
So I practiced a lot, but it didn’t work out at all.
But I really wanted to be a woman who could be so vulnerable that a man needs protection, and when Oscar-sama sees her, she becomes uneasy.
now and still
But now it’s time to give the answer.
I have to put the words in my heart and give a proper daughter-in-law’s answer.
Catherine straightened her posture and opened her mouth.
“Mother, I want to become a great lady like you. I’m always trying to learn from you.”
“… Huhu. Catherine, you are.”
I don’t know why, but my mother started laughing.
Anne, who was standing nearby, strained her eyes and signaled something.
I think I was so flustered that I forgot to even speak with my fingers.
Hey, could it be that Oscar-sama had said that he wanted to become a woman who could become abusive?
“…”
It seems so.
Anne’s face is unusual.
Auntie, what should I do in a situation like this?
‘Should I pass out?’
While thinking and contemplating for a while, my mother smiled and left the room.
“Lady! This happened because the duke was not by my side. Oh my God! Until now, no matter how messed up you were, you weren’t the kind of person who would say things in your head like that, but it’s broken. You have to come to your senses. It’s a different person. You can’t go crazy with that face and tell your heart out like that.”
“…”
Anne continued to nag her, but Catherine’s mind drifted away from reality, floating at the fact that she was meeting Oscar.
‘Whoop whoop. It was worth the pain.’
It was worthwhile not being able to eat properly because I wanted to see Oscar.
But no, it’s really noisy.
I glared at Anne slightly, but Anne turned her head away quietly as her gaze rather strengthened.
However, it seems that Anne also had a sore throat while listening with one ear and losing the sound with the other.
Suddenly, the nagging stopped.
“My lady, I’m really worried. Whether you’ll do well as the duchess. Ha, from now on, I’d better prepare a portrait of the duke and look at it when you’re in a hurry.”
I hope that too.
“It would be nice if it was in the form of a pendant, Anne. Then I can always carry it with me.”
“… is it so.”
Anne let out a small sigh.