Chapter 7. Good People, Bad People (3)
When I left the room in response to Emilia’s call, her distraught face caught my eye first. If it was like this, you shouldn’t have told me that you were sick. It was as if he had caused Emilia a nuisance for no reason.
“what’s the matter?”
“I want to talk to Tanya for a moment. Would it be okay?”
“Sure. Since it’s such a long time ago, shall we do it in Emilia’s room?”
Emilia nodded slightly at my suggestion and moved on. At the same time, platinum hair fluttered and fragments of countless jewels scattered in all directions.
It’s pretty too. I don’t think I’m on the ugly side either, but there were times when I felt embarrassed in front of Emilia. But today, I will do my best.
“What is it?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s been a while since Emilia asked me to talk. Is something going on?”
Whenever I had a conversation with Emilia, I was always the one who suggested it and the one who led the conversation. Rather than the difference between who is passive or active, the one who likes to listen and the one who likes to talk. I guess that’s the difference in attitude.
Emilia shook her head without answering my words. I could tell at once that it was a lie. How many years have we been together? But I didn’t point it out. I was worried that if I did that, the air that had become rough for some reason would feel more awkward.
We arrived in front of the door with a strange air that had never existed between us before. Upon entering, her maid, Grita, greeted us standing up.
“Gritta, can you move away for a moment?”
“Yes, lady. Do you need refreshments?”
Grita politely asks about the sudden celebration. In response, Emilia turned her head to look at me standing next to her, as if to sneak a peek, and expressed her affirmation.
“Plum Pekoe for tea, I’ll ask for the rest in moderation.”
“All right. Please wait a moment.”
Plum Peko. It is the name of my favorite black tea. Whenever Emilia drank tea with me, she always chose this tea. At first, I would recommend other cars because I felt like I was being taken care of one-sidedly. However, unlike me, who has a bad taste for black tea, I heard that Emilia tends to enjoy any type of black tea, and at some point calmly accepted it.
Grita left the room and was guided by Emilia to sit down in an empty chair. When the chair, soaked in the cold of midwinter, touched my body, a tingling sensation traveled through my buttocks and reached my brain. This is why I hate winter. Emilia used to say that she liked winter better, but it was a taste I couldn’t understand.
“Come to think of it, it’s been a while since I came to Emilia’s room.”
“is that so? Last time… ah.”
Emilia was about to say something at the words I casually threw out, but was startled. In an instant, I burst into laughter at the darkness that passed by my face.
“That was a few years ago. I haven’t been there since.”
As if recalling the memory of that time for a while, Emilia’s blue eyes sank. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable… Did I just say something?
‘I thought I wouldn’t be able to come back then.’
It was before I grew up, that is, about 4 years ago.
That day, as always, was the day I begged my father to drop by the Baiemurn family because I wanted to play with Emilia. As usual, he talked to Emilia, took a walk in the garden, and had a good time drinking tea together. Then, when it was dark after dinner, Emilia invited me to her room.
She had visited Emilia’s room often before that. that’s my friend When I stopped by the Bayemurn, it was as often as the room I was assigned to.
Even then, as usual, I went to Emilia’s room and we talked. Of course, I was always the subject of the story. Emilia just nodded her head as she immediately accepted the classification of my words. That alone was enjoyable enough.
‘Tanya, I’m going to visit my father for a while.’
‘yes! I’ll be playing here.’
At the sudden call, Emilia left me alone and went to Lord Stefan’s office. Left behind, I looked around the room, unable to bear the boredom that day.
Emilia’s room was quite desolate. There were no stuffed animals that I liked, nor pretty ornaments. It looked gorgeous, befitting the room used by the eldest daughter of the Bayern family, but… What should I express? It felt like an uninhabited place. Judging from the hand stains and traces on the furniture, I couldn’t feel that the room was alive.
‘I won’t be scolded by Emilia, right?’
Still, there must be something with Emilia’s hand stains somewhere. With that thought in mind, I started rummaging through the drawers and all over the place, even though I knew I shouldn’t.
It wasn’t something I did out of disobedience. Rather, I think that at that time I committed such a thing because I felt a sense of repulsion against the room that did not feel any vitality. I hate that room that makes my dearest friend feel like a dead person.
As I was rummaging through the room, I found a stack of books in the drawer at the bottom of the desk. A book so thick you don’t even want to read it. I couldn’t understand what it meant even after reading the title, but I struggled with curiosity and took out the book.
‘yes? This… … ?’
But after that, it wasn’t the thick book that caught my attention. As soon as I opened the book, a notebook appeared. As soon as I carefully took it out, goose bumps all over my body, and my hands started to shake at an unprecedented sense of difference.
It was so strange. In general, people tend to write down their purpose on the surface of a notebook where they frequently scribble a pen tip, regardless of whether it is writing something down or writing in a diary. For example, ‘Tanya’s Diary’ or ‘Things to do tomorrow’. Like this. If not, it must mean that it is a notebook that you do not use often.
But the notebook was in stark contrast. The paper was torn and tattered in places because it couldn’t get rid of the stains on its hands. Nonetheless, no title was written on the outside, nor was the content written on it implied.
Some may think it doesn’t make much sense. But I was different.
In a room lined with unburnt furniture, in a place where you couldn’t even feel the warmth of people. It was the only person I could find. Even so, like the diary of the dead, there are traces of someone touching it, but it is extremely cold, as if the fact is a lie. The feeling that the blood in the body cools down the moment it touches it is vividly felt even now.
Emilia returned just as I was about to open my notebook. It was only on that day that I realized for the first time what that frosty voice was. She spoke my name not in the voice of a strict mother, but in a flat voice that didn’t even feel the slightest emotion.
‘Tanya.’
‘Eh, Emilia? Uh, when did you come… … .’
‘Before asking, put it back in the drawer.’
In contrast to me, who showed a clear expression of bewilderment, there was no emotion in Emilia’s face or voice. Just pointing to the notebook in my hand for business purposes and recommending putting it back, I reached out and put it back as if it had been manipulated.
Emilia’s expression changed at the same time as the drawer closed with a click. As if it were a signal to breathe life into the doll that had been drooping. The expression that was so emotionless that even the expression cold was not suitable was nowhere to be found. He smiled at me without fail and lightly reached out and pointed to a table on the balcony.
‘I decided to bring Tanya a cake she likes. It’s a nice day, so why don’t we eat on the balcony?’
‘to? Ah yes… Then I’ll look forward to it.’
‘As much as you like.’
I don’t remember the conversation after that. Maybe I erased it because my head didn’t want to remember it, maybe everything that happened at that time was just a short dream. It was because, with such thoughts in mind, he did not even dare to recall the memories of that time.
Even after that incident, there had never been a rift with Emilia or any awkwardness between us. Unlike now, when I was young, I didn’t even try to think deeply about that incident, and I just thought it was okay to see Emilia’s smile again.
However, from a certain moment, he instinctively avoided going to Emilia’s room. About four years had passed, and Emilia’s room, which she had visited again today, was alive unlike before.
‘I wonder if there have been many changes in Emilia as well.’
If there was anyone who made a difference for her, it would be Ludwig, not me. yes, that would be for sure. Just as there were things Emilia wanted to hide from me, I also had things I wanted to hide from her, and the two of us had been together undisclosed to each other.
Of course, that doesn’t mean it’s bad. It’s just that people draw a line that they don’t want anyone to cross, and only those who have the courage to cross it will be able to bring about change. The two of us cherished each other, and that’s why we didn’t want to lose it, so we didn’t cross a certain line.
‘I’m envious.’
who is envious Ludwig who made a difference in the life of his precious childhood friend? Or Emilia, who took the heart of the man I fell in love with for the first time in my life? I don’t know. I don’t even want to know The moment I decided to sort out the superiority and inferiority between the two, I thought maybe I might not be me.
Grita, who had left the room in the silence of each other, returned breaking the silence. Dragging the trolley full of refreshments with both hands. It seemed as if the bell announcing the beginning of the story had finally rang.
* * * * * * *
The maid assigned to me by the Bayemurn family informed me that it was time for dinner.
When I left the room after adjusting my clothes and reviving my dead hair, the maid stood up by the door and greeted me with her head bowed. It was a kind of courtesy that I was not used to even though I had been living here for ten years.
“Guidance is fine. I know where it is.”
“but… … .”
Her expression darkened as I waved my hand at the maid who was trying to escort me to the dining room. If the customer refuses, she’s right, and if she goes back, she’ll be reprimanded.
Promising that if he ever met Sir Stefan, he would give him a proper word, and replied with a friendly smile as much as possible.
“Sir Stephen, I will tell you. So don’t worry, you’d better go back and do other things.”
“ah… Thank you.”
“It was nothing.”
He said he was smiling, but the other person didn’t seem to like it very much.
She lowered her head and hurriedly greeted me, then disappeared as if she were running away.
No matter how proud you are, if you leave as if you saw something you shouldn’t see, it will leave a scar on your heart. After all, the world seems to be superficial. At least, if I had looked as good as Christian, I wouldn’t have been humiliated like this.
‘It’s fortunate that only Emilia doesn’t look bad.’
No matter what other people think, I can’t help but care about the perspective of the girl I’ve come to like. At least, I hope it doesn’t go up, but not to the point where it goes down. I knew at least that Emilia wasn’t the kind of person to judge others based on their looks, but there are no absolutes in the world.
When I arrived in front of the restaurant with such a strange feeling of anxiety, Mrs. Yulia was approaching from the left. Accompanied by a person who appeared to be a lady-in-waiting.
“Oh, Ludwig. Has your travel addiction gone away?”
“Yes, thanks to the generous hospitality of the two of you. Thank you. Mrs. Julia.”
Mrs. Julia covered her mouth at my words and let out a pleasant laugh. Her blonde hair, darker than Emilia’s, swayed accordingly. No matter how many times I try, I can’t get used to it. Could it be that she was Emilia’s hidden older sister in the original setting? Otherwise, that beauty cannot be established at that age.
‘I wonder if Emilia will look like this in the future.’
It may be a little presumptuous, but seeing Mrs. Yulia reminds me of Emilia. Will she be as beautiful as she is in her 30s, 40s, and 50s? I don’t know who my husband will be, but I must be envious.
“Is anyone waiting?”
“Yes? Oh no. I lost my mind for a while.”
I guess I was too lost in thought. He wanted to see what was going on with the mistress of the Bayemurn family, no one else in front of him. Because Julia’s wife was a kind person, she smiled and moved on, but others might have immediately expressed her displeasure.
“Huh, sometimes that happens. My child has a knife-like side, so I’m not cute… For some reason, Ludwig, a boy, seems to have a cuter side than our child.”
“Chi, I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Do mothers and daughters look alike? I never thought I would hear that Emilia and then Yulia’s wife are cute. I know I didn’t mean it in a bad way, but my reaction was really ambiguous. In a way, it’s more painful than swearing in the face.
And after thinking about Emilia for a while, he said that the tiger would come if I said it, and then I saw the two new faces approaching from a distance behind Mrs. Yulia’s back. The sight of platinum hair and pink hair fluttering in contrast felt mysterious.
“Ah, Emilia. Tanya came too… yes?”
The moment I tried to call the names of the two people with a happy heart, a strange feeling of déjà vu hit my whole body.
I had a feeling that there was some distance between the two of them, but I thought it was just my mood and tried to brush it off.
However, when I looked closely, I could see that somehow cold air flowed between the two people who were walking without facing each other.