Chapter 7. Good People, Bad People (7)
After shaking off Ludwig’s backbiting, I kicked out the drawing room door. After apologizing to him, when will he do this again? But he would understand. With such faith, I ran to Tanya’s room.
On the way, my mother, whom I met in the hallway, scolded me for not acting rudely, but I hurried my steps, making an excuse that it was only this one time. I felt like crying right away, but I had to hold it back. Because I am not the one who should cry now.
“Miss Emilia, what are you doing here?”
When we arrived in front of Tanya’s room, her lady-in-waiting, Lel, was guarding the entrance.
Normally, I wouldn’t have been out of breath just because I had run this much. Is this a sign that you are in such a hurry? I barely caught my breath and asked where Tanya was.
“hahahaha… Lel… ! Is Tanya inside?”
“Yes, you are. It looks like you have some urgent business.”
Contrary to my tone, which oozes urgency, Lel, who was as calm as usual, was in stark contrast.
I silently nodded my head, and Lell approached the door and knocked on the door a couple of times and announced my arrival instead. A few seconds after that, ‘Come in.’ said Tanya’s voice faintly. I had nothing to say even after hearing the order to celebrate, but fortunately permission was granted.
“The young lady didn’t leave the room at all, perhaps because she was in a depressed mood today. Lady Emilia, please take good care of it.”
“… Yes I will. Lell.”
I couldn’t bear to reveal the truth to Lel, who talked as if he were entrusting Tanya to me without knowing why. Your precious owner was hurt because of me. The reason why I’m feeling down today, and the fact that Tanya, who likes to go outside, doesn’t even step out of the room. it’s all my fault
All sorts of thoughts passed through my head like a kaleidoscope before a new light spread beyond the door that creaked open and covered my vision. Tanya, what face do you have now? Please don’t bring me to tears. If I see you like that, I feel like something will break.
“Tanya… … .”
“What is it? Emilia.”
When I called her name in a low voice, Tanya responded with a smile. There was no sign of worry on his face, but I could tell that I had been best friends all my life. That she’s pretending to be strong now.
You must know why I came to you. That would be the only reason why I would make such a fuss and come in. Besides, Tanya was a victim. Nara is a victim who has been cut and wounded by a careless blade. Even if the original perpetrator goes over without knowing that he has done something wrong, the victim keeps it in his mind.
Even so, she never sent me any reprimands or accusations. Rather, I just tilt my head pretending not to know. I was overcome with mixed emotions at that appearance, and I couldn’t stand it and hugged Tanya.
“Tanya, Tanya… … !”
“Sue, I’m suffocating. Emilia.”
Tanya coughed and coughed, probably because she hugged her too tightly. But I couldn’t afford to worry about it. Because Tanya, who would normally have shown a full presence in my arms despite her small body, felt especially small and weak today.
“Did I miss you that much? I’ve only seen it at breakfast.”
Tanya patted me on the back while holding me with a silly smile. That insignificant feeling rang in my heart.
Even though I thought I had become a full-fledged adult after the coming-of-age ceremony, I was still just a child. At the same time, I could see that she was a more mature adult than I was. How many grievances and sorrows are contained beyond these hands.
“Lel, I’m sorry, but could you leave for a moment?”
“Yes, lady.”
I came to comfort you, but I ended up in a situation where I was comforted. Tanya let Lell go and got out of my arms and put her hands on my shoulders.
“Have you calmed down? Emilia.”
“yes… sorry. Tanya. I lost my cool without even realizing it.”
“I know. Yesterday and today, there are many things that are not like Emilia. It’s a strange feeling.”
There was a sharp corner to that word. Speaking of yesterday, I hit Tanya’s cheek… I don’t even want to think At that time, did I commit such a thing as if I was good at something?
“Ta, Tanya. Won’t you hit me on the cheek right now?”
This could not alleviate the guilt she had committed against Tanya, but she wanted to relieve at least a part of her guilt.
However, despite my earnest request, Tanya shook her head in disgust. It was a genuinely disliked response.
“no. I hate being beaten, but I hate being beaten even more. Why do you want to be right? Emilia, did you have that kind of taste?”
“yes!?”
You like that What kind of stupid misunderstanding is this?
Forgetting that she had come to confess to Tanya’s question, which was so embarrassing, she jumped back and replied.
However, he sighed in relief when he realized that it was a joke when he saw Tanya giggling. It shouldn’t be like this. I’m here to apologize to Tanya, not to crack a joke. Reorganize your mind… … .
“Whoa? Ta, Tahya… … ?”
“What are you taking so seriously? At best, all pretty faces are ruined.”
I was just a little excited and trying to calm myself down and talk to her when suddenly Tanya pinched my cheeks and made a strange noise.
As it is, Tanya rubs my cheeks as if they were clay, holding both ends of my lips and stretching them. If you look in the mirror, you will probably have a strange appearance, neither smiling nor crying. At least, it would be a face that Ludwig couldn’t show.
“It’s pretty now. right?”
“Yeah, Lee is upset… … .”
“Hey, can’t you hear what I’m saying?”
Tanya smiled all the time and didn’t think to let go of my cheeks.
Seeing her smirking, on the contrary, made me angry. It would have been annoying, resentful, and sad. Even if I spread my hands holding my cheeks and swung them around, I would have nothing to say.
Even so, how the heck can you have such a nice smile?
“Are you calming down now?”
“… Yes. I calmed down.”
From a certain moment on, without any resistance and gently facing her eyes, Tanya gently released both cheeks that were caught at that time. Only then did I realize that she did this out of consideration for me.
It’s really pathetic. It’s like you’re being cared for when you’ve come to comfort your friend for committing a sin and to ask for forgiveness. What would your father think if he saw this scene?
I stared blankly at Tanya, who had kept her distance from me while hiding her complicated feelings as much as possible. Her face was still full of laughter, but the words that came out of her mouth were not light.
“I’m not stupid either, so I know why Emilia came here. Did you hear from Ludwig?”
“Yeah. Maybe Ludwig and I couldn’t understand Tanya’s thoughts… … .”
“Awesome. Emilia, my best friend all my life, didn’t even notice it, so how did she find out?”
That said, I also agreed. Even if it’s not perfect, unlike me, who has eyes that can see through people’s hearts, he probably doesn’t have that ability. Even the time I spent with Tanya was short enough to compare with mine.
But how did he penetrate her psychology so well? I thought about it, but there was only one answer.
‘It must be just nature.’
From the first time you met me to this moment. He was a man who always thought of others first. Making the same mistake with Tanya yesterday was literally just a mistake. Because everyone makes mistakes. He was different from a foolish woman like me as a person.
“Put. For some reason, I think I know what Emilia is thinking right now.”
“Yeah? how… … ?”
“just. I thought that the twinkling eyes must be thinking of someone somewhere. The details are a secret.”
behave shamefully. Of course, that’s not what I, who has these eyes, would say, but I couldn’t shake the thought that it was mean. I didn’t even know Tanya’s inner thoughts properly and I was completely stunned until now, but how could Tanya understand my inner thoughts so well?
As I unknowingly put my protruding mouth in and wiggled my hands, Tanya’s tiny hand came over and covered it. Then, in a benevolent voice, like an older sister covering up her younger sister’s mistakes, Tanya calmly continued.
“Emilia. I’ll tell you in advance, I either resent you or I don’t.”
“It can’t be. Anyone in that situation… … .”
“I know. But that doesn’t mean it leads to resentment.”
He was pushed back unwillingly and conveyed his feelings. There must have been no such thing as Tanya’s will. Even if it contained it, it must have been someone else’s will that he mistook for his own will. Even so, why don’t you pour out the eyes mixed with words of resentment and criticism?
It was hypocrisy and overconfidence. Pretending to be for you, I took out the me that I had hidden inside and looked at it. I wanted you to convey the feelings I couldn’t convey to him.
maybe you knew At that time, what kind of emotion was the whip I swung? Was it sincere advice toward you, or was it just a change of direction and a rebuke that I was trying to shout at myself?
“It all worked out in the end. Emilia. Of course, it’s a pity that Ludwig kicked me… that’s unavoidable Thanks to you, I’m at peace now.”
Tanya calmly reveals her broken heart as if it were nothing. However, the moment I faced the white lump that floated above my head, I had to shudder with guilt even more than before.
Tanya, even if you know me well, you don’t know about these eyes. so you can say something like that. That I wouldn’t know your lies Tanya Ansberg was always just a proud and lively girl. Because I think I’ll believe it.
“Tanya.”
Her name makes me feel guilty even saying it. I still wanted to call. As if in a confessional, I put the name in my mouth again. Then he hugged Tanya tightly. This time, unlike before, a little weaker, but don’t miss it.
“Eh, Emilia? I’m out of breath… … .”
lie. I didn’t put too much effort this time. I had no intention of letting her go this time because I knew that she was just trying to get out of my arms.
“i know. Even if it only takes a moment… … .”
“okay. Wait a minute?”
At Tanya’s soothing words, he nodded his head slightly and patted her on the back. Just like Tanya did to me. A hand patting her on the back, one at a time with sincerity. I hope that my heart will be conveyed.
“Tanya once told me. Do you remember?”
“What did you say? I don’t remember.”
I really can’t remember Or do you pretend you don’t know to get out of this situation even though you remember? How are you? If you forget, you just need to remind yourself. If you’re just pretending not to know, you just have to convey it with sincerity to the point that you wouldn’t even have that thought.
“Even if I lie a little in front of my friends, even if I show weakness, it’s okay. I wanted to take back what Tanya said to me then.”
“I guess I said that… Who said that to whom, his face is hot.”
“How are you? I learned a lot from those words.”
Those words gave me a very big shock to me, who had no one to call me a friend. It’s just strange that the person who informed it couldn’t do it. But now I can tell Tanya. You don’t have to do that in front of me. Sometimes tell me your true feelings.
Although at that time, I still couldn’t bring my true feelings to Tanya, but Tanya was a wise girl unlike me. I’m sure you’ll understand
“Were you very sad? Tanya.”
“… yes.”
“Is it because Ludwig rejected Tanya?”
“… no. I just didn’t want to tell it that way.”
As I wished, Tanya began to reveal her true feelings little by little. Right. As expected, Tanya didn’t want to tell him her feelings yet. It’s good just to watch from the side. You must have really thought so.
I pushed such a friend over a cliff. And then he pretended to be a good man. Pretend to be a true understanding person who understands your friend’s sincerity. Despite the fact that he was a hypocrite wearing the mask of an understanding person.
“… I wanted to wait longer. Until we both calm down. Until the day when I can tell you this feeling in the future and even if I get rejected, I can laugh it off as a pleasant love.”
“Is it?”
It was. Tanya needed time to clear her mind. It’s not the time until I cut off the love I had for him, but ‘even if I fail, it’s okay.’ The time until you become calm enough to laugh at yourself.
It was called first love. He must have been excited every day and felt like he was drunk on something. Because I did too. It would be frightening to anyone that all those days might disappear in the morning. It was the same reason why I couldn’t convey my feelings to him.
so i waited Even if this heart is rejected, until the day I can smile. However, due to the ruthless behavior of a friend whom they believed to be best friends, the wait was in vain.
“Hey. Emilia.”
“… Yes, Tanya.”
At some point, Tanya, who had been hiding her face in my arms, quietly lifted her head.
“I now… What kind of face are you making?”
“… … .”
Without saying a word, I took Tanya back into my arms and patted her on the back.
I’d rather lay down and cry. I don’t think I’ll be able to see you forcing yourself to smile in front of me anymore.
Although it is a family that worships Goddess Hypresia for generations, I have never asked or wished for anything from the gods. However, today was different. If I could bet even on that ray of hope, I wanted to bet it.
If God is watching this scene, please don’t blame herself for having a foolish friend and take care of her in pain. It’s just the sin of a girl who couldn’t understand her close friend’s feelings. Because it’s not my dear friend’s fault.
If God is watching this scene, please punish this foolish woman. But I beg you, please don’t take away one man and one friend among them. Because of all the things I have, nothing is more valuable than that.
Please.