Chapter 7. Good People, Bad People (8)
The sun must have been shining brightly when Emilia came. It was after dusk had set in and it was getting dark outside.
We would always talk with a strange sense of distance, as if to give each other pleasure. It will be the first time that we have shared our true feelings openly like today.
It was a fresh experience, but it was very meaningful. I can express it like that. At the end of the day, we would laugh and discuss how we had fallen for him. Is it because you have let go now? My heart didn’t hurt anymore when I talked about Ludwig.
“Okay… … !”
After sending away her rival and childhood friend, he sat down on the bed and stretched. It felt like my body and mind, which had been frowning for some reason, became lighter.
Soon after, Lell came into the room with hot tea, and I raised both hands and cheered.
“You waited a long time.”
“It came just right. Did you even time it?”
“Because I thought the young lady would want to have a cup of tea.”
After all, my lady-in-waiting is quick-witted. When I was talking with Emilia, I was so engrossed in it that I didn’t even think to ask for tea.
I’m glad I can drink it now. Then, he approached the chair Lell had given him and sat down.
Squeeze. A scarlet liquid slowly filling the teacup. I stared blankly at it, and when I met Rell’s eyes, I smiled lightly. I didn’t have a specific reason, but I felt like doing it for some reason.
“Looks like you have a good job. miss.”
“Um… Well. I don’t think that’s a good thing.”
“But for some reason, your face has improved. Lying doesn’t work for me.”
It was true. Because Lel said that he noticed all the passionate performances I had shown up until now. It might be natural for lies to be exposed quickly.
But there was nothing really good about it. At least to the extent of being able to talk openly with Emilia? Other than that, won’t the friend you trusted push your back, or won’t you get lost in love with the guy you liked? It was a series of hardships.
Still, why does Rell say that my face looks good? And why is a woman like me sitting there, unable to refute?
“Lel, you know what?”
“What are you talking about?”
I gestured for Rell to sit across from me and gave me luck. Lell pours black tea into the extra teacup he brought as if he knew it.
This is the method I usually use when I want to have a conversation with just the two of us. In the past, I used to refuse, saying that he couldn’t sit in the same seat as me. I’m the owner in the first place, so where are you trying to rebel? huh.
Lel sat quietly in the seat in front of me after filling his own teacup with tea water. I couldn’t even hear the sound of a chair being pulled. It’s one of the etiquettes, but I didn’t go that far. Is it like magic that only Rell can do?
“Does your heart really hurt when you lose heart? But when I look back, I think I did well. Aren’t you curious?”
“okay. Was that the reason you left your room yesterday and returned late?”
Come to think of it, I didn’t tell Rell the story of yesterday. What happened with Emilia, and how he expressed his feelings to Ludwig. I didn’t mean to hide it, but there was no circumstance, so somehow it ended up like that.
Lel looked at me with a mixed feeling when I expressed my affirmation without delay.
ok… I know it’s because he’s worried about me, but that face still doesn’t adapt. For some reason, it feels like my heart is tickling, so it’s hard to face it.
“Do you have any regrets?”
“Would you be lying if you said no? I have a feeling what it would have been like if I had told you properly later.”
When we got to face each other a little more, when he said ‘I’m sorry’ and when I was able to answer calmly, ‘It’s okay’. If I had confessed then, would anything have changed? After all, that’s just a home.
Even though Emilia pushed her back and was urged by Ludwig, in the end it was my decision. The two of them are just excuses. I wonder if I would have waited and watched from afar, then couldn’t stand the impatience and complained.
“It was sad but also happy. I was grateful to Ludwig for answering my heart correctly, and I felt sorry that he might have burdened me unnecessarily.”
“You are a good person.”
“Hey, stop it!”
How long do you plan on worrying about that material? I wonder if only plain water would come out if I ate this amount of tea leaves. I’d rather change the way you play.
“I did not mean to make fun of you, Mrs. If you look at it from the point of view of an ordinary person, you wouldn’t have time to care about the heart of the man who gave you a broken heart. I think it’s a lady’s nature.”
“is it… ? It was just an idea that popped out subconsciously.”
“Then I’d just admire it all the more.”
Lel continues to praise me to the extent that my face heats up with his eyes shining. Just this much fuss.
I’ve felt it for a long time, but Lel is too good at lifting me up. Sometimes, when I listen to it, I don’t know if I’m saying this because it’s something worthy of praise, or if I’m praising it even though it’s not particularly worthy of it. You have to be able to listen to these things with a filter in order to be called a daughter of the Ansberg family.
The moment I was about to take another sip of tea, the cold wave of midwinter crept in through the open window. I unknowingly shivered and drank hot tea to relieve the cold.
“I will close the window. miss. If you stay like this any longer, you’re more likely to catch a cold.”
“yes… Please. Ugh, it’s cold.”
Even if I left the door open a little while ago, the cold wind didn’t come this far.
Today, I skipped dinner and didn’t leave the room, so I left it open for a change of mood.
It’s a pity that the fresh air doesn’t come in anymore, but since I’m naturally weak, I had to listen to Lel’s words at times like this. If you don’t, what will happen to your body tomorrow morning… … .
Rell, who had been looking outside to close the window of the car that was lost in thought, took a step back in shock. Then, as if he had a good idea, he suggested it to me.
“My lady, how would you like to go for a short walk?”
“no. How cold is it outside right now?”
Who tried to close the window saying that a little while ago you might catch a cold? Now come and go for a walk outside in this severe winter? For a moment, I was worried that there might be something strange in the tea Lell drank.
Lel came up to me with his coat on and smiled. As if resistance was not allowed.
“Please listen to my request for today. I’m sure something good will happen.”
“Chi… … .”
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Just try to do nothing good. I will give you my soul.
In the end, I gave up my rebellion and obediently put on my coat. If it’s really cold, I’ll just pretend to look around the garden for a while and hurry back. with that promise.
* * * * * * *
Even though I went out for a walk at night in this cold weather, Lel didn’t follow me. Has my prestige fallen this far? I hated Lel and felt sorry for myself.
No, if it’s Lel, it must mean something. He wouldn’t try to mess with me for no reason. Firmly believing, I stepped into the middle of the garden.
“yes?”
In the garden of the Bayemurn, there is a large fountain in the middle of the four sections. There were also statues to the left and right of it, but today, for some reason, it looked like three statues instead of two. Is it an optical illusion?
The light leaking from the mansion gradually faded as they got closer to the garden, but thanks to scotopic adaptation, the figure, whether it was a statue or a person, could be seen more clearly.
When I lowered my back and stuck my head out to confirm its identity, a low sigh escaped from my mouth.
“Are you riding?”
“Ah, yes… What’s up? at such a late hour.”
“I don’t think that’s what you meant.”
Ludwig laughs and responds to my words. That’s not wrong. If it were me, I wouldn’t have gone out for a walk at a time like this.
Rell must have seen this guy out the window and sent me here. Anyway, don’t worry about unnecessary things. It’s a problem even if the handmaid is too competent.
“What were you doing?”
“Looking at the moon. Think of yourself.”
I was dumbfounded by the way he naturally spit lines that seemed to flirt with me. Even if Ludwig was an idiot, I never thought he would throw something like this at the woman he rejected yesterday as if he were in his right mind.
“… Is that what you say to the woman who took her hand yesterday?”
In an instant, irritation rose up, and I fired at him with a brusque tone without even realizing it. Ludwig hurriedly waved his hand at him and shook his head at the same time. It seemed to say that it was a misunderstanding.
“Oh, no, I don’t mean that… It was just literal. I kept thinking that I was sorry for you, so I couldn’t sleep well. So I was thinking about how to apologize tomorrow.”
what, that’s what it meant Even if it was an unconscious act, I think I would have been a little angry if I had said it that way even in this situation. By the way, I don’t know if he’s kind or foolish to worry about people who are cold. I’m not in a position to say anything.
“To be stupid. Keep your shoulders a little more confident. This makes me look like an idiot.”
“yes? Why are you?”
“Mr. Lee, that’s right, I want you… … .”
I do it because I like it! I tried to shout out loud, but the words stopped coming in. Why are you so defenseless? On the topic that cut me off so coldly yesterday. Only then did it feel like the heart I had been trying to put to sleep would slowly rise.
“I don’t know! done. It’s not even a day or two that you’re an idiot.”
“Don’t you think it’s suddenly too much?”
“Isn’t that what you’re talking about?”
Who dared to say such a thing to anyone now, considering that he coldly kicked out the confession of a young girl? I was so full of energy that I inadvertently glared at Ludwig sharply.
If you thought that he was cute when he looked away from you, then I must be seriously ill.
“Anyway, I mean… I mean don’t worry too much. There wasn’t a part where I confessed a little bit behind my back, but it was my will to tell you my heart. Even if there is someone you like.”
It was my selfishness. I know you won’t pay attention to me, but even so, it’s okay, so I just want to convey my heart. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have hugged Ludwig then. I must have tried to avoid the seat somehow.
So there is no sin for anyone standing here right now. To the girl who honestly expressed her feelings and to the boy who answered her feelings sincerely. At least I’d like to believe so.
“Thank you, Tanya. How come I owe you nothing.”
“Of course. Even if you become lovers with Emilia, I’m confident that I’ll be the one to take care of you.”
“Is that enough?”
What is this man asking in surprise? Maybe you don’t know that you look dangerous in the eyes of others. The reason why I lost my eyes to you is because of that point.
The first meeting was like a scene in a fairy tale. A princess in crisis and a prince who appeared to save her. It was a fantasy story that I had hoped for at least once.
But it wasn’t just that I fell for it. At some point, when I had been following him with my eyes all the time, I suddenly had an idea that I wanted to support that man. And that he wants to stand in a position where he can push his back when he is hesitant, who looks a bit clumsy.
It wasn’t Ludwig who pushed my back, but I became it, but I believe that such a day will come someday. Even if I was rejected by him and became an existence that can no longer approach this line, I still have something I can do for this man. Now as a friend and advisor.
“It comes out with that attitude, right? At that time, you’re going to ask me for advice, and even if I cry and ejaculate, you won’t accept it?”
“That’s a bit difficult. I’ll even pay for the employment, so can’t we just end it as extenuating circumstances?”
Ludwig, scratching his cheek with an embarrassed face, finally comes out in a low profile. Anyway, how could you be indebted to me and still stick with that attitude? Trying to hire a daughter of the Ansberg family for just enough to pay for their employment is a level that has jumped out of the boat very easily.
But what… Still, I can close my eyes and move on, looking at the past. I guess I need a bit of a bribe.
“Ji, are you really sorry?”
“That’s natural. You were the one who gave me advice when I went to visit Emilia. I am always grateful.”
“Huh… I know that.”
Apparently, I haven’t forgotten my contributions. Well, actually, I was the one who pushed the hardest back when this idiot was hesitant. Maybe he did more for Ludwig than I thought?
“Well, then… Bend over just once.”
“… It would be difficult to hug again like yesterday. you know? Tanya.”
“Who says you’re hugging me!”
I have no thoughts of hugging again. I’m not saying I’m not that boring woman. Just in order to protect this guy from behind rather than beside him and give him advice, in many ways, he needs a price. I’m just trying to get some of it in advance.
Ludwig obediently bowed while having doubts when I flicked my hand. The difference in height was so great that it was barely eye-level. Anyway, if you’re tall like Muldae… … .
“… … !?”
In the meantime, while admiring his handsome face, I immediately lifted my tiptoe and kissed him.
A short squeak resounded, and when Ludwig’s face was stained with embarrassment, I burst into laughter.
“Ta, Tanya… … !?”
“Hey, good billing. From now on, I will take good care of you as a friend!”
I feel a little sorry for Emilia, but she will take care of this much. Are you going to get mad at me for getting your husband-to-be’s first kiss? On the one hand, there was a feeling of wanting to see that rare sight.
He took a step closer to Ludwig, who was unable to say anything with his mouth open, and threw out the last word he hadn’t been able to convey.
Perhaps the words he should have said yesterday, or before he left for Emilia.
“I love you, Ludwig.”
With the first kiss I gave to the man I loved for the first time, my short and long love came to an end.
With the chilly midwinter wind blowing.