237─Peach Blossom
Jeobbuk.
After completing the handover of supplies, Laura finally had some free time, and after belatedly receiving news from Fersen, she walked to the infirmary.
In the simple infirmary, which was clearly different from other places—even the one built with more effort than the barracks where the Second Prince Raymond lived—small surgeries were being performed or injured soldiers were lying down and receiving delicate nursing care.
‘If it was designed this elaborately…… ‘
Laura looked around as she could guess how much the elemental wizards under his command had been divided and the hardships they were going through.
Of course, it is better than simply interfering in a wide area.
Even if the area is small, refining the shape much more precisely requires more mana and precision.
Even if it was possible to actually interfere with the earth and create a small flower, those with knowledge tended to live at a very high level.
‘It’s spacious.’
Due to the nature of my stuttering, I wanted to go to Fersen’s hospital room without asking if possible.
Laura, thinking that wouldn’t work, asked a nearby medic, barely took a step forward and opened the door to the hospital room where Fersen was lying.
Then, we see Ferzen lying down after being injected with sap, and Uriel sleeping quietly next to him with only his upper body lying down.
Although it wasn’t as much as those who were fighting on the front lines, her body must have accumulated quite a bit of fatigue, so there was nothing that could be done about her becoming drowsy.
‘While we haven’t seen each other…’ … You’ve become a very pathetic man. ‘You little one.’
The smell wafting from Fersen’s vicinity, which could not be easily hidden by the peculiar smell of the hospital room.
It wasn’t his body odor, nor was it the smell of a patient, but rather a strong smell of alcohol.
However, the foolish sight of someone the size of Fersen relying on alcohol to the extent of ruining his own body was, surprisingly, quite familiar to Laura.
In her past life, she was unable to overcome her eccentricity and often got drunk.
In short, the reason he has come to this point is just like his previous life.
Aren’t we faced with a difficult problem that cannot be solved? … Laura guessed like that.
He is a person with a particularly strong ego.
Because I never felt disappointed or frustrated about anything.
‘You look very gaunt.’
Laura approached Fersen quietly so as not to wake Uriel, and stretched out her small, delicate hand to carefully touch his face.
The sight of his uniquely sharp jawline being so weakened that it stands out like this naturally makes you feel sorry for him.
Wicked.
Is that why?
Feeling like a part of his heart was hating him, Laura pressed her forehead against that of the sleeping Fersen and closed her eyes.
Her helplessness at not being able to help even though the man she loved was suffering was surprisingly painful.
The difficult problems that he and people like him face are at least problems that cannot be solved by mortal hands.
From Noble mtl dot com
No matter how hard we tried, in the end, all we were left with was a miserable compromise.
No, it would be fortunate if there was at least a clear compromise.
Fersen was the one who became a compromise in this life.
If I hadn’t met him, he would have ended his life once again by killing himself.
‘Unlike me in my past life, you…… ‘
Aren’t there a lot of people around?
So, whispering that at least there would be a support that could provide a compromise that would not collapse, Laura opened her eyes and kissed Fersen on the lips.
‘If…… ‘
If the moment comes when you have to let go of everything you have, without even being able to find a compromise.
‘I will make you the final destination.’
Somewhere at the pole, as I was told before the war began——a place where the midnight sun never sets.
‘You sit down to the bottom and cry…… I will take care of you until I die.’
So, Laura hoped to Fersen that he would quickly regain his strength and wake up from this hospital bed.
‘If you don’t…… ‘
The day when the full moon is coming soon.
Because he didn’t know that he might kill Fersen, who was so weakened, with his own hands.
As for the title I didn’t want, the witch I learned in my previous life was enough.
Not wanting to prey on the man she loved and to be called a enchantress, Laura stretched out her index finger and gently poked Fersen’s cheek.
* * * * *
“…… “
After the damaged electrolytes were balanced through sap, Fersen, who had slept for a long time, opened his eyes and quietly looked around.
No matter how much help you get from the sap, the dazed and helpless feeling rarely goes away.
Still, his complexion had improved and he had stabilized, so he took a comfortable breath and slowly lifted his left arm where the needle was inserted.
The moment I see this, his empty right arm bothers me.
The obsessive-compulsive disorder stimulated in that way naturally reflects on Lizzy’s addiction, which was covered by a hazy and helpless feeling.
…… Fersen then removed the needle from her left arm and gave up any thoughts of returning her fluid to the vein in her right arm.
If she could not distract herself from other obsessions in front of her in this way, she could not help the intoxication that Lizzie had given her as it was constantly gnawing away at her own psyche.
At the same time, this too will only be a temporary measure.
Even though she gave candy to her lost child and comforted her, it only took a moment for her to stop crying.
Soon, just as she starts crying again while looking for her mother, there will come a limit to dispersing her consciousness in this way.
I guess we can say she has some kind of resistance.
For now, we can distract Lizzy’s consciousness from the spell she carved, but if she repeats it, she will have to distract her consciousness with stronger stimulation……
If it finally reached a level that I couldn’t handle, it was like going back to square one.
Because of this, she was in a state where her spirit was half broken due to alcohol.
Honestly, such a life cannot be considered normal.
‘Has a lot of time passed…? … ‘
The thick darkness seen beyond the small window showed that night had already fallen.
Rumble.
“Ah…… “
At that time, she opens the door to the shabby hospital room and sees Yuri El coming inside, holding her soup with her delicious smell. She looks at herself and opens her eyes wide.
Stop!
Her body instinctively tried to run towards him as if she were instantly narrowing the short distance, but when she realized belatedly that she was holding a plate of warm soup, she stopped rather awkwardly and walked slowly. Take a step
“Mo, my body is a little…… How is it? “She woke up for a moment and I was going to feed her just this, but luckily she woke up.”
“It has improved a lot. It’s nothing to worry about. And…… “I feel sorry.”
“…… “
“Aren’t you hurt? “Yuriel.”
“Yes…… I wasn’t hurt. “Don’t worry about me, just fill your empty stomach a little before it gets cold.”
Seeing Uriel offering soup to him along with a spoon, Fersen accepted it without rejecting it.
My throat still felt sore, and even though it was a soup made with milk, I felt bloated after eating it a few times……
Fersen looked at Uriel with a sad look next to her, and after her report, she finished her plate cleanly.
Yuriel then offers medicine along with lukewarm water.
“If possible, you should not smoke tobacco.”
“You don’t have to treat me like a child sent out to the river.”
“…… “It might be better if that were the case.”
Just like a child playing by the river, she can block out all the variables as long as she doesn’t look away.
Even if an incident occurred, she was able to react quickly.
But she couldn’t figure out what she could do for Fersen now, so Uriel let out all the frustration she had been suppressing.
“I heard. You…… ‘That I killed Lizzie.’
“Is that so?”
I have no intention of denying it.
Since she had no intention of hiding anything, Fersen reacted calmly and continued with her words.
No, it would not be a calm reaction.
The fact that she can’t meet her eyes properly is also proof that she is afraid.
“…… I am disillusioned. “Yuriel.”
“If I was going to disillusion you, I would have done so a long time ago.’
Uriel herself knew even better that she had no right to criticize Fersen for matters related to Lizzy.
Even though she knew the whole story, it was clearly her own choice to become this man’s wife.
Because she did something cruel to the child who was standing on the edge of a cliff.
But……
“The reason I feel so sad…… “
The reason she was so willing to get her hands dirty in pursuit of it must have been for the sake of a better life for her.
Why is it that this man who is sitting in front of him after reuniting is living a more unhappy life, not a better one?
Yes, Uriel was not saddened by the fact that her Fersen had further dirtied her own hands by killing her Lizzie.
It hurts to know that this is the only result she got after getting her hands dirty so much.
“When I asked you, I couldn’t be of any help…” … “I was actually afraid to tell her because I was afraid she would feel that helpless.”
“…… “
“But that might not be the right direction. So, Fersen.”
“…… “
“Why are you suffering so much?” … “Can you tell me?”
Her two hands, somewhat tightly together, embrace each other affectionately, covered in cold sweat.
Looking at her like that, Fersen put her empty plate aside and opened her mouth.
“It’s more than karma.”
“Karma…… “
“There’s nothing to think about, Uriel. No matter how much she struggled and struggled. In the end, I couldn’t overcome the wall of being a third-rate villain.”
“…… “
“Because it is not an area where you can receive help or even hope for help…… “This is purely something I have to bear.”
Of course, it may be difficult to receive sympathy.
She had her own reasons for the evil deeds she committed, and there were circumstances.
But it is a black weapon.
Swordsmanship is like the art of murder.
In order to protect someone, you have to kill someone.
To save someone, you have to cut someone down.
No matter what the cause, the essence cannot be changed.
The path he has taken as a villain is probably no different.
“But in my eyes…” … ! Right now, I don’t think you can handle it…… ”
“Is that so?”
I’ve already been exposed for being extremely weak.
What are you going to do by hiding it?
“Your sharpness of vision has improved considerably. “Yuriel.”
Fersen looked at her with a wry smile.
“Certainly this karma is difficult for me to bear.”
“Ah…… “
“If I had the confidence to remain silent, I would have offered you at least some comfort here…… Since I am not even sure that I can overcome it, I am regretting the traces of my greedy past. If it was going to be like this, I wonder what it would have been like if I had remained an uncomfortable and awkward brother with you, I wonder what it would have been like if I had stayed alone without knowing the happiness of starting a family with you, and I wonder what it would have been like for people like me and the imperial family, who have been in debt to Brutein for a long time. “I never stop thinking about what it would have been like if it had not become a token of continuing the improved relationship between military and government.”
“…… “
“But that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up like this. “I will work hard to the best of my ability.”
But as Roer, César, and Lizzy also said.
To the extent that I was holding on to a happiness that did not fit the bill.
The sight of humans struggling not to lose it is the most ugly thing in this world.
“So, you will be quite far from the happiness you were looking forward to by living with me. “There may be more days where you cry rather than laugh, you may accumulate more regrets than memories, and you may find yourself longing for the past countless times rather than looking forward to the future.”
So.
“If a time comes when you can’t be by my side…… It’s okay if you leave me. “Yuriel.”
“Don’t be stupid…… !”
Kwaak!
As soon as she heard everything Fersen said, Uriel stood up without any hesitation and hugged Fersen’s body as if it were being crushed.
Fersen’s words asking him to remain by his side as much as possible, even though he knew he would be hurt and unhappy—he was happy to once again feel how important he had become to him, but at the same time, he couldn’t help but cry right now. This sadness that felt like it was going to explode was overwhelming me.
That’s because humans, no matter how logical and rational a situation is, ultimately don’t accept it if they don’t understand it.
For this reason, the fact that Fersen left the choice to decide the end of the relationship entirely to his own will is probably evidence that he is already certain of a breakup.
“Now don’t be unreasonably altruistic…” … “The man I know named Fersen is a person who, even if the other person gets tired of his ugly and dirty appearance and says he wants to leave, he does not allow it and keeps him by his side.”
“…… “
“So be shameless. I’m not saying that you should be afraid of me being hurt and having a hard time because of your karma, but that you should be afraid of a situation where I’m not by your side…… !”
To put it another way, I will try my best to keep you by my side in the first place.
This would be consistent with the saying that the moment there is no one left by your side, you will commit suicide.
So……
“If they were really going to leave the choice completely up to me…… “You shouldn’t have said that.”
Your.
For you.
How can a woman who was born and raised for you ignore your death?
“Even if the flower petals fall, the branches break, and the roots rot…… “
Cherry blossoms in spring.
Summer lotus flower.
Autumn chrysanthemum.
The scent of my peach blossoms, which will not be erased even by the plum blossoms of winter, will stay in your arms and be erased together.
If you are a villain, I have decided to become a villain that matches that.
As long as we can be together, I am willing to endure even if the direction we are moving in is not happiness but misfortune.
Yuri El finished her sentence like that and buried her head deeply into Fersen’s chest.
“…… “
Ferzen also said nothing more, but slowly brushed the back of Uriel’s head and hugged her body tenderly.
Despite her sincere words, if nothing changes, what awaits her at the end will be her own destruction…… There was still no change in those thoughts.
But I think this is enough for now.
Just as you don’t know that the morning has come because the curtains haven’t been opened.
Her warm embrace that makes you forget everything for a moment, and a word of comfort in a voice that is pleasant to listen to.
From Noble mtl dot com
Yes, I didn’t even know I was hoping for this from her.
If there ever comes a moment when you open the curtain and look directly at the scenery beyond.
The gray sky without the sun and the rotten, foul-smelling ground will welcome you……
If you put in the effort to add color to that place, plant seeds, and make flowers bloom, you won’t have any regrets.
Destiny is the result of choices made together.
So, he didn’t want to end up with everything explained for such a trivial reason as “Because he’s a villain.”