[Side Story] Euphemia El Lorenne Ruerg─Cattleya
After giving birth, Euphemia moved to another room and fell into a deep sleep.
Her strength was greatly weakened, and a needle was inserted into her slender hand, and her fluid was being pumped into her.
Before she knew it, dawn had announced morning, and Fersen, who had been staying by her side for a long time, lifted her up and closed her curtains.
I was careful not to wake Euphemia from the sunlight seeping through the window.
Ttogak.
“…… “
She then took a few more steps and came to the cradle next to the bed.
Inside, there was a very strange creature, wrapped in a warm cloth, sleeping and breathing faintly.
She is her and Euphemia’s child, to whom she has not even given a name yet.
Sureuk.
After looking down at her for a while, Fersen took her glasses out of her arms and put them on.
Seeing as she had never worn glasses since she killed Ciel Midford, she must have had a mental change in herself.
“Indeed…… “You’re ugly.”
Her appearance without a single hair, full cheeks, cute lips, wrinkles all over her eyes.
It was difficult to find traces of her Euphemia or herself anywhere.
Are all newborn babies like this?
Whose eye color does she resemble?
Fersen reached out her hand and slowly stroked her baby’s cheek.
When she watched her life from the underworld, the time axis was very fast, and she was not even impressed because she saw a child who had grown up before she knew it……
Why is a wave of such confusing emotions spreading now?
Babies spend most of the day sleeping.
As he pictured in his mind the sight of such a baby barely crawling, babbling, and of her toddling, Fersen smiled faintly without realizing it.
But that sentiment lasted only for a moment as the tossing and turning baby slowly opened his eyes, and Fersen quietly held his breath.
The same golden eyes as Euphemia.
Her beautiful colors made Fersen realize that she was the daughter who inherited Euphemia’s blood, and he slowly rocked her cradle.
The cradle, which moves from side to side like her rocking chair, tries to put the awake baby back to sleep, but the baby’s eyes become clearer and even in the meantime, he stares at Fersen.
She didn’t wake up Euphemia by crying right away, so she thought it was great in her heart, but she still couldn’t figure out what the baby who was staring at her was looking at her. All I could do was rock her cradle slowly.
“Ugh…… “
Then, as if she couldn’t wait any longer, when her baby showed signs of bursting into tears, Fersen stopped her and took her hand away from rocking the cradle.
Sigh.
She then quietly picks up her baby and places him awkwardly in her own arms.
“…… “
“…… “
Before she knew it, her frowning expression was gone as she burst out crying in the warmth of her warmth, and the baby was still looking up at her with a small yawn.
“You’re so clever.”
Even though crying is the only means for a baby to express itself, Fersen burst into laughter when she felt that her newborn baby was taking advantage of it.
Perhaps this is the germ of a genius.
Fersen, her inexperienced new father, was already thinking about this and adjusted her position to make her baby more comfortable.
“…… “It looks awkward.”
Then, for a moment, Ferzen suddenly heard Euphemia’s voice and turned his head towards her.
Following her actions, the baby moves her head and follows her familiar voice, laying her face to the side.
“It really doesn’t suit you…… “
Euphemia, who was very weak even after receiving the help of sap, spoke in her soft, soft voice.
But on the other hand, seeing Fersen holding her daughter in his arms, a happiness that was difficult to express in words surged in her.
“It would be better to sleep a little more.”
“I have to breastfeed…” … “
“You can find a nanny today.”
“I’m not busy enough to need a nanny, and when I get better, I’ll go up to Ruerg…… Are you okay.”
Seeing Euphemia shaking her head and stretching out her hands, Fersen reluctantly placed the baby in her arms.
Euphemia, accustomed to her posture, pulled down her shoulder straps and revealed her even more voluptuous breasts.
As soon as she placed the nipple in her mouth, the baby instinctively started sucking it eagerly.
If her obsessive-compulsive disorder had not been completely cured, however imperfectly, she would have lied down next to her and sucked her opposite breast.
When that thought occurred to her, along with her thought that Fersen was funny, she could not shake off the bitterness.
Her obsessive-compulsive disorder, which had bound her for a long time, completely disappeared for about a month under the prerequisites through Lizzy……
Nevertheless, the traces did not disappear.
It must be said that she left with her own symbol.
Although he no longer had fits of symmetry as he used to, he still preferred objects or environments that were relatively symmetrical.
“Ahh…… !”
The baby, who had had enough of her breast milk, let out a small burp following Euphemia’s patting touch.
Soon after, she fell asleep in an instant, and Fersen picked up her child and laid her in her cradle.
Immediately afterwards, lawmakers entered the room on time.
“There is no problem. It takes about 21 days to comfortably return to daily life, and about 100 days for the body to fully recover. The right time to go up to Ruerg will be in a month. “It will take at least four months to have her second child.”
After examining her and finding out that there was no problem, Fersen sat down next to Euphemia, leaving the doctors leaving her room after replacing her fluid.
There was a promise she made to her a long time ago.
If I were to have her child, she would let him know the unique reason why I love her.
But when I think back……
Perhaps the reason for her love was the fact that she did not really suffer from her own obsessions.
At that time, she could not say that she loved Euphemia.
It was just a possessive desire bordering on obsession.
Sign language is a means of language expression given to people who cannot speak.
A cane given to those who have trouble walking.
Glasses worn by people with poor eyesight.
In that way, Euphemia may have been a means and tool for her own obsessive-compulsive disorder.
“It’s okay.”
“…… “
“Now, I don’t have to hear the reason why you love me from your mouth…… “I’m not too anxious.”
Seeing that Fersen could hardly open his mouth, Euphemia stretched out her hand and gently wrapped the back of Fersen’s hand.
Since she is honestly human, Euphemia could not completely quench her thirst for curiosity……
Like before, she wasn’t hanging herself out of sense of entitlement.
Because I realized it through Fersen holding her child, who was born between them, in his arms, and trying to be her father, even if it was awkward.
This man in front of her will forever be her husband.
He will also be the father of the child he gives birth to.
And Fersen smiled bitterly inwardly at Euphemia’s appearance like that, and then opened her mouth.
“I was mentally ill. Euphemia.”
“…… “
“Ever since I was a child, when my sense of self was slowly being established, I felt a strong obsession with maintaining left-right symmetry, and because of that, I almost had Jeremiah’s eyes removed. Furthermore, he broke Lizzy’s ankle and became an enemy of the Claudia family. “No matter how hard I struggled, my obsessive-compulsive disorder, which I could not overcome, pushed me to the edge of a cliff, and all I could do was arm myself with the habits I had created through desperate compromise.”
Euphemia said nothing to the sincere thoughts that came out of Fersen’s mouth, which was not at all unexpected.
“Handwriting that doesn’t offend obsessive compulsive disorder, taking care of neat appearance, intentionally lowering your eyesight and blurring your focus so you don’t recognize other people’s misaligned symmetry, etc…… Because of that, the person named Fersen was a maverick who was extremely self-righteous and overflowing with stubbornness.”
“Not really…” … “
Euphemia was about to say no, but when she thought back to Fersen when they first met, she couldn’t be wrong, so she trailed off.
“It’s okay if you don’t give meaningless consolation. “I’m not trying to get comfort from you right now.”
“…… “
“At this point, you won’t be able to hold back your curiosity. “Why did I, such a mentally ill person, do such a thing to get my hands on you?”
“I won’t deny it…… I said it’s okay if I don’t listen, but if you want to speak out, I don’t want to turn away…… “
Euphemia raised her head from her bowed position and gazed clearly into Fersen’s red eyes.
Fersen also continued her words without avoiding her gaze.
“Okay. However, if I wanted to apologize earlier, this was the reason I became obsessed with you…… “I don’t think it can be a reason for love.”
“…… “
“Your body proportions are the only thing that didn’t trigger my obsession. It gave me the same comfort as looking at a lake with gentle waves spreading across the wide sky. Therefore, I arrived at Ruerg and took you with only the bare minimum of justification.”
“Ah…… “
“To be honest, even though I promised, I hesitated several times to announce this fact. “I was wondering if you might be paying too much attention.”
Finch!
Just as Fersen said, Euphemia tried to look back at her mirror without realizing it.
“If you already feel inferior to Uriel, I guessed that she would become even more stressed as soon as she heard this fact. “Because it seemed like you would struggle to somehow protect the objectively only advantage that Uriel did not possess.”
“…… “
“So don’t do that.”
Fersen lifted her body from her chair and sat down on her bed, neatly tidying up Euphemia’s disheveled hair and stroking her cheek.
“Can you see it? “I put on my glasses and stared at her child to avoid feeling obsessive about her other body.”
“…… “
“But she didn’t take any action. Do your body proportions still give me a sense of stability? … Even if I don’t have it, it doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
Patting Euphemia’s slightly trembling back as if implying her anxiety, Fersen let out a deep breath as she did so.
“Euphemia.”
“Yes…… “
“My childhood was not that bright. The growth process couldn’t be said to have been correct. I was just trying to avoid getting hurt. Okay…… “My struggle to avoid getting hurt would have been seen as maturity by others and seen as a proper adult.”
“…… “
“I have never gotten angry because my parents’ nagging was annoying.”
After my severe obsessive-compulsive disorder was discovered, I was given the freedom of neglect.
“As I got older, I didn’t have time to realize that my parents weren’t perfect.”
My parents passed away before that.
“I didn’t even realize that I had to have the mindset that I would have to let someone go someday from that death.”
Because the bond between the child and the parents was so thin as to be shallow.
“Because of this, I was a child who only became an adult without any true maturity.”
“…… “
“And I made up for that lack through you. “I will continue to learn.”
A way of unilaterally forcing one’s emotions.
I changed it and learned the feeling of love through interaction.
I learned how to comfort someone who is anxious and how to be considerate.
“The process of getting older little by little and naturally learning more…… “I got all that from my time with you.”
“…… “
“You may have always suffered from a sense of entitlement…… The being you are has gradually brought about the maturity of the being I am. “I have perfected Fersen as a human being, taught her what to do as her husband, and now I will make her realize the process of becoming the father of a child.”
And.
“That child will teach you things you never learned.”
A child who gets angry because his or her parents’ nagging is annoying.
A child who, upon seeing that he has grown old, will whimper and say that he will continue to be an awkward filial piety.
A child who will be sad to see himself die soon.
Because the emotions were exchanged, not forced.
Even if you don’t have to put yourself in that position, you will learn countless things you didn’t know through your children.
“…… Don’t cry. Euphemia.”
Euphemia, who was just listening in silence, sheds tears without crying.
Ferzen smiled as he gently wiped Euphemia’s eyes.
His smile is different from the first time, but is now very familiar.
“I thought about the child’s name. You criticized me for not having the sense to name names…… Still, I think this name suits me very well.”
“What…… “What’s your name?”
“It’s Carlaea. “It comes from a flower called Cattleya.”
The language of flowers is beauty, elegance, and charm.
From Noble mtl dot com
And it was maturity.
“I gave this name to that child because I thought the process of learning through you, my shortcomings as a human being, would end up in that child…… “
“It’s not awkward. It’s such a nice name…… “
Euphemia shook her head as Fersen trailed off and snuggled into Fersen’s arms.
“Is that so?”
“Yes…… So pretty.”
Facing Euphemia, who was rubbing her cheek like a child, Ferzen gently patted her back with her large hand.
“Euphemia. No, Euphemia el Lorenne Ruerg.”
“Yes…… “
“I love you.”
These are truly difficult words to hear from this man’s mouth.
And to those words, which were truer than ever, Euphemia responded by raising her head with her sobbing face.
“Me too…… I love you.”
Fersen von Schweig Ruerg.
* * * * *
Flutter.
The wind blowing through the window tickles the curtains.
And what you can see beyond that is……
The end of spring.
A happy family blooming as summer approaches soon.
May 3rd.
The lovely princess’s name became Carlea el Lufia Luerg.