The Villainess Whom I Had Served for 13 Years Has Fallen chapter 179

179 – The Will You Hold in Your Sword -4-

Hannah, who was alone in the training hall, closed her eyes and fell into thought.

Until now, she had taken time to calmly think about the will she held in her sword.

‘I don’t know.’

Ricardo had said that it was okay to have selfish thoughts. He had said that it was fine to have short-term goals for success, but it was also okay to be greedy without end.

-Doesn’t it feel bland if you start wielding a sword with a purpose? Since I’m the type to achieve things quickly. Oh, was I too unlucky?

She had certainly been unlucky, but Hannah could understand Ricardo’s words. Until now, the butler had kept every word he had uttered.

That was why she could trust the butler’s words and think that they were the correct answer.

‘My sword…’

Hannah had simply wielded her sword for recognition.

She had started wielding a sword to carry on the honor of her family and to receive her father’s recognition.

She had stubbornly held onto her sword, waiting for the day her father’s warm hand would stroke her head.

Without knowing anything about swords.

Without the support of her family, she had simply trained with the sword she had received as a child and swung it at training dummies.

Because that was the reason she had to wield a sword.

It was the purpose given to her as she wandered a path with no end in sight, and like the conclusion given by a shepherd leading his sheep, the choice given to her was only one. She had no choice but to nod her head and follow.

Because she thought that was the only way to be happy.

She thought that the only way to prove her existence was through her sword. But then her dream had crumbled, and an extension of that dream had begun once more.

The extension known as her father’s recognition.

It was an ending that would eventually come.

It could be today.

Or it could be an ending that would come 30 years from now.

Although it was good that there was a clear ending, if she thought about it again, she didn’t think that this ending would necessarily be a happy one.

A sword for others.

Even when she thought about it herself, a sword that began for the sake of others didn’t seem like it would lead to a good path. Maybe after she received her father’s recognition, she would become burned out like someone without a purpose.

Because she would give up on further growth out of a sense of satisfaction at having achieved her goal.

She thought that she would dedicate her remaining time to teasing the butler and spending more time with him.

She would be happy if she had that time, but that wasn’t the ending she desired.

Hannah wanted to be recognized.

As a swordsman.

As a person.

She wanted to be recognized by her father as a swordsman, and she wanted to give her benefactor faith in her as a disciple.

Just as her heart felt at ease whenever she looked at the butler’s face, she also wanted to become such a person for the butler.

Hannah closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

And then she slowly drew her sword.

She focused on her sword, not to follow the butler, but to show him her true heart. The conclusion she had reached after countless hours of contemplation and practice in her notebook of wrong answers was to find her own sword.

Hannah knew very well that she couldn’t follow the butler.

Hannah wasn’t strong enough to look into an abyss with no end in sight. She knew that she was lacking, even if it was just superficial.

That was why Hannah thought.

Let me put my selfish desires into the sword.

I want to be trusted by the butler.

I want to be someone precious to the butler.

I thought I’d put in the desire to cut down anyone who threatened the butler.

That’s my repayment for the favor I received… no, because it’s my wish.

It’s a little cowardly, but I wanted to stand by Ricardo’s side and draw the future with him.

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And I wanted to be with him.

Not as a burden, but as a swordsman, I wanted to grow as a woman and be by his side.

Hannah put her greed into the sword.

‘I want to have it.’

Happy everyday life.

The butler’s attention.

‘I’m tired of compromising now.’

I’m tired of giving up something because of my father, and hiding my feelings because of the burden I carry.

Of course, it’s natural for the wife to keep her turn, but I didn’t want to be taken away from the second place.

So.

Hannah put her greed into the sword.

‘I’ll have it all.’

The selfishness of greed.

And.

I wielded the sword with the violence of wanting to destroy everything that interferes with Ricardo.

-Swish.

At the same time as the intuition that something had been done, a familiar alarm rang.

[Q. The first love of the wicked woman, Histania Hannah.]

In a story you don’t know, you were the one who received Ricardo’s affection.

In that story, you became Ricardo’s protagonist.

Ricardo becomes your butler.

You will slowly gain a foothold by receiving Ricardo’s help in the midst of your family’s hardship.

Of course, in the process, you said hurtful things to Ricardo and uttered harsh words like, ‘What do you know? Do this and that to me.’ But he stayed by your side and whispered hope.

No one knows the end of this story.

(!) Defeat Mikhail in a duel.

Reward: You can read the 〈41st side story〉 ‘The First Love of the Wicked Woman, Histania Hannah’.

There was one more reason to win.

***

Mikhail raised his sword.

Even after thinking about it dozens of times.

To find the reason why it couldn’t be reached.

Mikhail couldn’t figure out the purpose of wielding the sword, or what kind of mind he should wield the sword with.

He already knew the answer.

To protect the innocent from evildoers like Ricardo. That was his conclusion, and the purpose of the sword he held.

But my heart wavers constantly.

An ominous intuition that my very nature is wrong finds me. Mikhail could not find this sense of unease that felt fundamentally wrong.

The reason I first picked up a sword was because of a boy.

The boy I liked the most.

Maybe even loved. I picked up the sword because of that boy.

-Why did you get hit instead of me?

-You’re a shrimp, you know.

-I’m not weak.

-Oh yeah?

On the day the bullies took the teddy bear my mom gave me. The boy stood in front of me like a hero with a wooden sword in his hand.

Like a prince from a fairy tale, the boy smiled as he proudly wiped away the blood flowing from his nose.

It was cool.

The sight of the boy wielding a sword to protect someone.

I wanted to be like him.

I also wanted to protect someone like the boy did.

The boy told me then.

-I’m protecting you because you’re weak.

-…What if I get stronger?

-Pfft! That’ll never happen. I’ll have to protect you even if I don’t want to. Just you wait… I’ll be the strongest in the end… Hmm! When that happens, you can protect me.

-Me, protect you?

-Yeah, I’ll protect you no matter what until you’re stronger than me.

-Really?

-Yeah. But you have to keep your promise too.

-What is it?

-When you become stronger than me, you have to protect me.

That day, I held a wooden sword for the first time.

I vaguely remember the first time I smiled while holding a sword, holding the wooden sword the boy left behind.

It was fun.

I was always the one receiving help, so the fact that I could protect someone was fun and exciting.

I still remember secretly practicing with the sword under the bridge, dreaming of the day I could protect the boy like he said.

My wish to ‘protect the weak’ has not changed.

To resolve the resentment of the weak and at the same time, to let them know that there is hope. It is what the boy wished for. It is the burden I must carry.

That’s why…

I will get stronger.

Rowan looked at Mikhail’s sword with interest.

“Hoo…”

The aura flowing from Mikhail was pure and different from before, containing violent emotions.

Rowan stopped talking as the gentle waves of aura flowed and quietly watched Mikhail’s enlightenment.

Mikhail closed his eyes and swung his sword.

-Swish.

And

A ‘ding’ notification was heard by Mikhail as well.

A tempting proposal that he didn’t want to refuse flashed before Mikhail’s eyes like a devil.

– A quest has occurred.

[Q. The Reason You Wield Your Sword.]

A long time ago, you had a friend. A precious friend you sent away with your own hands.

Due to someone’s scheme, you inflicted a curse on him that made him unrecognizable, but you still remember his existence like spring.

Memories.

Very old memories.

The weight of your evil deeds and the burden you carry at the same time, which you cannot tell others, are flying towards you like arrows.

The boy you miss so much might still be alive.

He suffered a lot of pain, oppression, and injustice because of you, but he didn’t hate you.

Well, I don’t know if he’s still alive.

(!) Defeat Hannah in a duel.

Reward: You can read ＜15th Side Story＞ ‘The Secret of the Day You Abandoned Him’.

There was one more reason to win.

*

A peaceful afternoon.

I was walking through the streets of the capital with a smile.

“What should I buy for the amulet?”

I don’t believe in things like superstition, but I still think it’ll give me strength, so I headed for the store with a smile.

While passing by the street, I saw a lucky charm in front of the store.

A four-leaf clover earring symbolizing good luck.

I decided on the gift with a smile and slowly walked into the store.

And.

I opened my eyes slightly.

[Q. Mikhail’s Guardian.]

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Reward: You can read ＜16th Side Story＞ ‘The Risk of Truth’.

Let’s put it off for a little while.