69 – If He Wasn’t There… -1-
In an empty room at Olivia’s mansion.
Alone in the dark room, Hanna spent a sleepless night.
Going to her father without a second thought.
Disappointing her father.
A day saved by Ricardo.
On an impressive day, Hanna’s eyes never closed.
– You are my precious disciple.
As today’s events passed like a fleeting lantern, Hanna’s face burned with intensity.
“What am I supposed to do…?”
Hanna kicked her blanket with frustration, the image of Ricardo persistently appearing in her mind.
“He was incredibly cool…”
Because what she had only seen in fairy tales had happened to her.
Ricardo, who had appeared before her like a comet in the midst of her hardships, though the sight of him falling ungracefully from the ceiling lacked charm, felt more magnificent to Hanna than anything else.
The red hair fluttering in the dust seemed to shine brighter than the red sun in Hanna’s eyes, and his nonchalant appearance resembled a prince from a fairy tale.
It felt like time had stopped. The goosebumps and a lump of emotions surged through her body, as if there were only her and the master in that place.
The master who only looked at her.
Herself, crying out of frustration.
In the master’s gaze, which looked at her with a sad expression, Hanna had to admit the truth.
Love. For that man.
Lying on the bed, Hanna looked at her right hand illuminated by the moonlight filtering through the window.
A small and slender right hand.
The warmth of Ricardo’s hand, which had held hers when they left the mansion, still lingered in her hand.
Despite being a hand that lived with the profession of a butler, with many calluses and roughness from Ricardo’s touch, she couldn’t forget the warmth she had felt at that moment.
– You are my precious disciple. You are someone I cannot let you be treated carelessly.
Hanna tightly embraced the hand that still had warmth. She wanted to feel it again, as it had comforted her troubled heart.
She felt so good about this warmth that she almost wanted to go to the master right away, ask him to hold her hand, and beg for it.
“I must be crazy…”
In the darkness, Hanna thought.
‘Why am I doing this for someone like me?’
Without doing anything in return.
Always just receiving.
Why does she readily step forward, no matter what?
In the growing burden of her heart, Hanna felt sorry for Ricardo, yet simultaneously experienced a grateful emotion.
“I cry like a fool, giving nothing in return… I’ve received so much.”
This time, as Hanna placed the debt of her love on Ricardo’s shoulders, she felt a sense of remorse.
Honestly… today.
Hanna thought Ricardo would step back.
He would utter pleasing words under the pressure of his father and then disappear. That’s what everyone who harbored grievances against their fathers did. Problems related to business. Issues related to the estate. When facing his father, they would bow their heads, admitting their mistakes and expressing remorse. Hanna thought Ricardo would do the same, thinking it was only natural.
Not because Ricardo was incompetent.
Because it wasn’t a matter she should be involved in.
She thought he would turn away and leave.
If she were Ricardo, she would have done the same.
But.
Ricardo didn’t step back.
Instead, he faced it head-on and handled it deftly.
“Do you want to bury it in a righteous place?”
He uttered a piercing remark.
When she saw Ricardo spitting out all the things he wanted to say to his father, it felt exhilarating and at the same time enviable.
Because she couldn’t do it.
It was too frightening and daunting.
She had endured it all this time.
Suppressed her emotions tightly.
But Ricardo had effortlessly accomplished it. Confronting his father as if it were natural, he embraced her openly, wrapping her in warmth and pulling her out from the confines of her emotional hysteria named Hystania.
“Again… it’s the butler.”
Ricardo, who always opened the door when things got tough.
Hanna could no longer deny it.
“I like him.”
– Fluttering… fluttering…
Her heart pounded like mad.
It felt as though it was broken, continually calling out Ricardo’s name.
“Love…”
The emotion of love was too complicated.
At the same time, the feeling of love was beginning to grow on Hanna.
It seemed undeniable.
To like Ricardo.
Could any woman in the world not like a man who rescues her every time, even if he’s not the most handsome, always reaching out a hand in her toughest moments and smiling brightly each time? She couldn’t help but like him, even if he were an enemy.
Their first meeting had been terrible…
But now, Hanna found herself wanting to see him more and more.
And, on top of that, he was handsome.
Hanna was falling for Ricardo to the point where she even doubted whether Ricardo liked her.
There was no way to escape.
No way to break free.
Her racing heart urged her not to deny it, but how could she deny herself? She still wanted to see him now, even as she thought about it.
Through this incident, Ricardo firmly established his place in Hanna’s heart.
Someone she could never let go of.
And the most grateful person.
Hanna, who was feeling this kind of emotion for the first time, wasn’t sure if she could handle it well, but one thing was certain: she wanted to protect the seat next to Ricardo.
She wanted to hold his hand and go to the sea, be led through the bustling streets by his rough touch.
“Now, what do I do…”
Hanna smiled, uttering a small word of reproach to Ricardo, who had stirred her heart.
“If things get any better here… really…”
The feelings of melancholy towards her father were being replaced by thoughts of one person.
There had been many events.
The man who had brought an end to those events.
Hannah liked him.
She had to go back to the academy tomorrow… She didn’t want to return.
But, for a better success.
To appear before Ricardo in an upright manner, she needed a new foothold.
Now, not for the sake of the name Histania but for herself, and to become someone suitable for Ricardo, Hannah decided to make an effort.
If she had resolved to give herself as a gift, there should be excellent wrapping paper.
It was the best repayment she could offer to Ricardo and the best effort for an unpayable debt.
The last night was fading in the villain’s house.
New family members were added.
Lady Olivia’s mansion remained peaceful, still fond of food.
Hannah liked this place.
Her heart was at ease.
Her favorite person was here.
Although Hannah envied the peace that seemed addictive, now she had to prepare to move forward.
Just enjoy the peace for today.
From tomorrow onwards, Histania’s Hannah. No, she closed her eyes, resolving to live life just as Hannah.
And.
[Would you like to read?]
After seeing the truth she had postponed, let’s start again.
Hannah clenched her fist.
Now, she thought she could overcome it. No matter how terrifying the past, she had decided not to return there.
Knowing that avoiding it wouldn’t lead to finding the answer, Hannah whispered softly while looking at the blue window.
“Yes. I’ll read it.”
〈41st Side Story〉
[Reading “If He Wasn’t There… ” has begun.]
Hannah began to sink into deep contemplation.
***
[10 minutes before reading begins.]
She opened her eyes in a familiar place.
A green meadow.
This place, where the soothing sounds of birds echo.
It was the heart of the Hamel Mountains, a place Ricardo and Hannah had visited countless times.
Hannah stood tall, inhaling the crisp air. She opened her eyes, resolute to face whatever lay ahead, a meaningful gaze that said she could handle whatever was revealed. To ease her tension, she flicked her gaze so sharply it almost made a sound.
Clarity washed over her.
The suffocating tension seemed to loosen its grip, if only a bit.
“Phew… right, it won’t be anything extraordinary.”
Hannah prepared herself.
The lingering attachment to her father had already faded, and she anticipated whatever past might surface.
It might startle her, but Hannah was convinced it wouldn’t be much different from the present. She wasn’t as fragile as she used to be.
About ten minutes passed as she readied herself.
[Reading commences.]
In blue text, a familiar woman’s face appeared.
With brown hair.
Hystania’s youngest daughter.
Her own past self flashed before her eyes.
The expression wasn’t pleasant.
Her eyes were swollen.
Each step up the mountain seemed burdened with immense weight.
– Why… does it happen only to me?
– I can do well too.
– I can work hard too.
Her past self climbed the mountain, wiping tears, uttering negative words, resenting her lacking abilities, staring with hollow eyes.
How much had she cried? Her eyes were reddened, trembling as she clutched a sword.
– I’ll show that I can do it too. Then Dad… Brother… Sister, they’ll see me differently.
Her past self yearned for familial love.
It was a familiar sight.
‘How foolish.’
Hannah silently followed her past self.
And then.
—
“Thunk…!”
Unable to wield the sword properly, seeing himself falling to the orc’s club began to flash before his eyes.
“Aaaaahhh!!!”
Hannah’s face contorted with fear.