The Villainess Whom I Had Served for 13 Years Has Fallen chapter 97

97 – I Am a Bad Person -4-

It was heart-wrenching.

She thought that if she smiled brightly, people would turn their attention to her.

Even when sad, she smiled.

Even when in pain, she smiled.

Enduring insults, she believed that if she kept smiling, someday, friends who disliked her would turn around.

It was the only way for the one bullied and the sole form of rebellion for the one with nothing. She vowed to keep smiling forever.

However.

The accumulated burden of emotions had silently transformed into a colossal weight of sorrow without my awareness.

The foolish days when I believed that if I just smiled, someday this relationship would improve, the moments when I hoped for a friend to come to me someday—those moments were all washed away like a torrential downpour by the two letters written on the desk that day: ‘병신’ (fool).

I stared at the desk in silence.

“What is this…?”

It felt like my mind was turning blank.

No thoughts emerged.

I just stood there, feeling the hope I had built up crumble like a landslide in front of the strangely written letters.

Behind me, a mocking laughter echoed.

– Who did that?

– I don’t know. It was like that when I came this morning.

– Crazy… but is that person crying?

– Wow…! Yeah, they’re crying.

– Crazy, puhahahaha!

Mocking laughter poured down on me as I stood still, not as a comforting reassurance of ‘Are you okay?’ but as the reaction of classmates who treated my saddened state as a comedy, and I fled from the classroom like escaping from reality.

– What a so-called equal academy…

– Calling itself an equal academy for everyone… What is this!

Suppressing tears, I found solace in the corner of the recycling area behind the academy, sitting down in my own deserted space.

The recycling center where people only gather during cleaning time was the only place where I could take a break without being bothered.

No one to say anything, no one passing by – it was my own untouched space.

A place to escape when I heard the front conversations or listened to the gossip in the bathroom.

I tried to bury my face in my knees and sit until my complicated emotions subsided. I had always endured like this.

Today, as always, I made up my mind to cool my heart and return with a smiling face.

Because I couldn’t do anything. In a relationship that had already gone awry, there was nothing I could do… really nothing.

Every action I took would seem like a protruding nail in their eyes, and I didn’t want my best efforts to become an amusing spectacle for them.

So, I was sitting here, huddled up, and taking a rest.

I wrinkled my nose at my miserable appearance, sitting in the recycling center filled with a foul smell.

-I wanted to do well…

I felt like I was alone.

The current me, who nobody helped, felt particularly cold today.

-Click…

And so, it seemed like I cried even more that day.

-Why is everyone saying that I did something wrong…? I just want to get along with everyone… why are they like this…!

-I want to get along with you too… I also like making dolls… I also…! I want to talk to you guys about the person I like….

-Why don’t you include me…? Why don’t you give me a chance?

The memory of me bowing my head and crying in the silent recycling center, where no one went, was a painful memory that would never be forgotten.

No one listened.

The memory of silently throwing a tantrum alone didn’t easily fade away.

I wonder how long I cried like that.

The moment the bell announcing the start of class rang, I tried to gather myself and get up.

No matter how upset I was, I had to attend the class. I had to endure and attend the class to keep my scholarship.

I tried to muster the strength to stand up, but my legs wouldn’t cooperate due to the melancholic mood.

“I have to go…”

Muttering to myself, I pounded my numb legs with my fist.

Let’s go. There’s no use staying here like this. Let’s go. I urged myself.

About three minutes passed like that.

Just as I struggled to get up.

“Why are you crying here?”

A gentle voice stopped my steps.

From Noble mtl dot com

Red hair.

The man with a handsome appearance and a somewhat fierce impression was standing behind me, smiling to himself.

The man I like.

The man I fell for at first sight appeared as if it were destiny.

Seeing Ricardo looking at me with a mischievous smile, I was so surprised that I collapsed on the floor.

“Eek…! When did you get here?!”

“Um… Since you started saying ‘What did I do wrong?’?”

My face turned red in embarrassment at Ricardo’s imitation of the expression I didn’t want to show. I had never been so surprised or embarrassed in my life.

While watching Ricardo all this time, he didn’t have that kind of image, so I was quite surprised by the familiar image he had.

I thought it would be incredibly chic.

Because it seemed cool.

With fists clenched at the sight of Ricardo playing carelessly, I lowered my head and said,

“Let’s go.”

“I don’t want to.”

“The bell rang. You have to go. Come on.”

“I don’t like it.”

Ricardo replied firmly like a stubborn pumpkin.

Despite the bell signaling the start of class, Ricardo, who mumbled, let out a long yawn and cautiously sat next to me.

Then, with an unfortunate expression, he said to me,

“I’m smart, so I don’t have to attend classes or anything.”

“…What?”

“Envious, huh?”

Ricardo, uttering absurdities with a serious expression, silently looked at my blushing face that had turned red.

Looking at the reddened eyes.

Looking at the moistened eyelashes.

Ricardo, wearing a bitter smile, spoke to me with a gentle voice,

“Did you cry?”

“No.”

“Lies. I saw it all.”

– You saw it, so why did you ask?

– Because it’s interesting?

Ricardo replied confidently.

Was he always like this…?

The fantasy about the person named Ricardo in my imagination shattered, but as I looked at his face with a faint smile, the sunlight shining on him, my heart raced like crazy.

‘Pull yourself together…’

– Did something get on my face?

– What?

– You keep staring.

– No. It’s because you’re handsome….

– What?

– No… What was I saying…! No, never mind. I misspoke.

Ricardo smiled at my bewildered state. Then, he pulled out a small handkerchief from the pocket of his butler’s uniform and handed it to me.

I was staring blankly at Ricardo’s hand offering the pale yellow handkerchief with a subtle floral fragrance. I was looking at his hand with eyes that seemed to say, ‘Why are you giving this to me?’

– Take it.

-…

– Your hand will get dirty.

The hand that Ricardo lightly touched was soft. It felt even softer than the handkerchief.

Perhaps, because of the emotions I felt in that moment, it felt even softer.

After receiving Ricardo’s handkerchief, I was just staring at it blankly. It had been a while since someone treated me so warmly, and the overwhelming emotions from the fateful encounter with the person I had secretly observed began to well up within me.

-Click…

-Why are you crying again?

-I’m not crying…

Ricardo turned his head away, trying to be considerate of me, and mumbled.

“You’re not very good at lying.”

The first meeting with Ricardo remained an unforgettable memory for me.

“Oh, by the way, I didn’t introduce myself.”

Ricardo sat beside me, crossing his legs, and shared his name.

“I’m Ricardo. I’m in the same first-year class as you. Um… I’m a bit of a troublemaker.”

“I’m… Yuria.”

“Yuria. What a beautiful name.”

“Thank you.”

The moment we started small talk and exchanged trivial everyday stories, time seemed to pass incredibly quickly.

Even though I felt I should go to class in my heart, the fluttering emotions made me want to linger a bit longer, holding onto my ankles.

About thirty minutes passed like that.

Overwhelmed by the looming anxiety, I quickly stood up from my seat.

“I have to go.”

“Why? Let’s talk a bit more before you go.”

“That’s because of the class…”

Ricardo spoke with an awkward smile.

– Ah… That’s… something I can’t do. Class.

– Excuse me?

– Um…

Ricardo stood up from his seat and brushed off the dust from his pants before speaking.

– You’ll know if you go.

Even though Ricardo had diligently pursued a doomed academy life, all that remained was stress as he moved leisurely.

I was taken aback by Ricardo’s response and silently followed behind him. There were reasons why my throat had choked up from crying, and I didn’t know what to say to Ricardo, who spoke confidently.

Especially when the person I liked was right in front of me.

I simply lowered my head and stole glances at Ricardo’s face.

Returning to the classroom like that, I was able to see the chaotic scene of 1st grade, Class 1.

My desk was cleaned neatly.

In contrast, the desks of my other friends were in complete disarray.

It seemed like there had been a fight.

A fierce one.

And then.

– Where’s Ricardo!

The shouts of a male student, searching for Ricardo while spilling coffee, filled the classroom.

– Look.

Ricardo said to me with an awkward smile.

– I told you I can’t do class.

Ricardo confidently walked into the classroom and stood in front of a male student who had been looking for him, wearing a small smile on his face as he spoke.

– “Catch me if you can!”

Ricardo ran as if he were crazy.

*

It’s not known that evening.

But they said the person who scribbled on the desk was the male student who was looking for Ricardo.

And right after I escaped from the classroom, Ricardo wiped my desk with the boy’s head, hiding in the recycling bin. I happened to overhear it.

– I thought he was insane. He stuck his face right into the desk… and said “clean it.” Oh well…

– He must be a crazy guy. There’s no one else who does such things.

– So what happened?

– He got punished, of course!

On that day when I was hiding in the recycling bin.

For the first time, I felt happy to have an uninvited guest.

Holding my pounding heart.

I was listening to the conversations of the students.

*

The feeling of being tipsy is starting to take over.

Now that I am pleasantly drunk.

Emotions seem to intensify a bit with old memories.

Yuria sighed as she chewed on the beef jerky.

“Ah…”

And a man with a faint smile appeared before Yuria, holding a glass in his hand.

“Why are you drinking alone like a tragic heroine?”

Yuria looked up.

A man with red hair.

Ricardo laughed as he sat down in front of her.