Reconcile (10)
Elina squeezed her tight fists into her chest as she squeezed it.
Prayer was no longer of any use.
No matter how much I prayed, there was no sign of filling the empty space in my heart.
No, on the contrary, it felt like the empty space was expanding.
‘Lord, what should I do?’
Elina prayed towards Neftam, who was watching over her.
While thinking that this pain would go away.
When Leonhardt said that Neftam should be abandoned, Elina replied as if it were natural.
“I can’t do that.”
The words came out as naturally as breathing.
The belief in Neftam was deeply rooted in Elina’s heart.
I don’t know anything else, but throwing away Neftam was something Elina couldn’t do.
“That is a bit disappointing.”
A look of disappointment passed over Leonhardt’s face.
Elina felt the cold distance permeating Leonhardt’s voice.
“Then, I’ll have to find another way to get rid of your Spiritual Eye.”
Soon, I remembered what Leonhardt had said in a sweet voice that seemed to hide his feelings and make it up.
The fact that he loosened the strength in the arm that was holding him and got up from his seat.
In that moment, all warmth disappeared.
Even when he grabbed a warm blanket and wrapped it around his body, a chill that did not go away filled the surroundings.
“I have to think of a way, so it will take a little while. This is a safe place in the Abyss, so it should be fine, but it can be dangerous, so don’t go outside.”
To those words, Elina could not readily answer.
For some reason, I felt like I had made a very wrong choice.
I thought everything would be happy if I followed Neftam.
Even then, I thought Neftam would solve all my problems.
But the happiness quickly ran away. rather distant.
After Leonhardt left, Elina recalled Neftam’s words that Leonhardt was on Yuan’s side after a while.
Could all of this be Leonhardt plotting with Elin?
‘But Confucius was also attacked by Elin… .’
There was no way to check now.
I wonder if I could feel Yuan’s divine power from Leonhardt. I didn’t feel any trace of it.
Still, I couldn’t fully trust Leonhard.
The more I believed in Neftam, the more I felt that what I thought was precious was disappearing.
Elin whom I loved the most in the world, and Leonhard whom I could rely on and trust.
no more gone
‘I feel like I’m far from alone.’
Feeling severely isolated, Elina pulled the blanket a little more and wrapped herself in it.
In the days when I always thought I was lonely, it wasn’t as painful as this.
I thought that if I had the Lord, everything would be filled.
But it was strange. No matter what, the hole was not filled.
I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been with Elin’s warmth that Leonhard gave me for too long.
because i found out
When you’re not lonely, how filled you are.
‘If there is no Lord, Elin, or Gongja… ‘
Elina crouched down with a melancholy heart. If I do that, I wonder if it will be warmed up by my own body temperature.
However, no matter how much she crouched down, she couldn’t keep herself warm.
“I want to forget.”
Elina muttered softly.
As soon as he said it, the shape of his feelings changed and solidified more clearly.
okay. I wanted to forget.
all the painful things.
Elina lightly stroked her neck and shoulders, just like Leonhardt did. I also pressed lightly on the red lump left by Leonhardt.
However, even when I brushed my thin, delicate body, I couldn’t feel anything strangely. It was different from Leonhardt’s touch.
‘I can’t do it alone.’
He knew he couldn’t find comfort in this way.
Also needing someone else. And that… It was the warmth that Neftam could not give.
how much time has passed
A knock was heard, then the door opened.
If this really was the Abyss, only one person would enter.
“Gongja-nim… !”
Elina reflexively turned her eyes to the door.
“yes. I came because I was worried about leaving it alone… ”
Leonhardt stared at Elina.
“it’s okay? Your complexion is not good.”
“… yes.”
Elina struggled to raise her voice and answered.
I just wanted to look as good as possible. Leonhardt was not so easygoing.
Leonhard, who came to Elina’s side, put his hand on Elina’s hand.
Elina held his hand, feeling the warmth as if she had found a bonfire in the middle of winter.
Leonhard pulled the corners of his mouth into a smile, then straightened his hands and clasped them tightly.
“Why can’t you both be so honest?”
Leonhardt stared at Elina and said.
“two… all?”
Feeling a strange sense of discomfort, Elina opened her mouth and asked.
Leonhard put on a slightly embarrassed expression at Elina’s words.
“Elin and Elina are the same.”
Hearing those words, Elina pursed her lips.
Come to think of it, is Elin here? If so, what is Elin’s condition? if not…
I wanted to ask, but I didn’t have the courage. I was afraid to find out about another loss.
When Elina didn’t speak, Leonhard let out a long breath.
Then he sat down next to Elina and grabbed her hair and pulled her to his chest.
As I hugged him, I felt the warmth that was frighteningly warm. To the point where I could forget all the cold from before.
‘If he leaves, will the feeling of loss come again?’
Elina bit her lower lip slightly.
Leonhard kissed the top of Elina’s forehead.
It was cute seeing her clinging to her because she wanted to feel even a little more warmth and affection without even realizing it.
It seems that she doesn’t know it yet, but even her unawareness of herself was like Elina.
“What are you afraid of? Tell me.”
Leonhard spoke softly in her ear.
His voice was kind.
But to Elina, it sounded like an order. I thought that if I didn’t do that, Leonhardt might leave. like before
Leonhardt’s disappointed voice and face did not leave Elina’s desperate heart.
It was so painful for me to think that way.
“Gongja-nim… Are you afraid of anything? Neftam is a god. And I am his saint.”
“therefore?”
“… There is no way I could abandon Neftam.”
Elina said as if making excuses. I don’t even know why I have to do that.
Leonhard pulled Elina who seemed frightened.
Then, he wrapped his arms around her back and shoulders as if confining them in his own arms.
“That’s not it. I need to be honest so that I will have the heart to help.”
Leonhardt’s hand gently ran through Elina’s fine silver hair and touched the dry nape of her neck.
At the cool sensation, Elina swallowed dry saliva with tension and faint anticipation.
“Why don’t you answer?”
Leonhardt tilted his head and stared at Elina.
Intense temptation wrapped around Elina.
‘I could have forgotten everything.’
When the body heats up with pleasure, the pain disappears.
I was able to forget the empty heart at that time.
Elina’s lips made a small movement as if mumbling. Leonhardt looked at Elina’s face eagerly.
The hand holding her white nape was lightly tightened. A slight suffocation made Elina’s hesitation escape.
“What you did before… ”
The moment she said it, Elina got goosebumps.
For some reason, I felt like I was trying to say something that I couldn’t take back.
If Confucius was truly a subordinate of Yuan, wouldn’t all of this be there to deceive me?
“Elina.”
Leonhardt said as if urging.
The hesitation gradually faded.
Elina’s fingers grabbed Leonhard’s hem and carefully closed it.
Elina’s silver eyes looking at Leonhardt were slightly blurred as if they were covered by clouds.
“In addition… I hope you do.”
Elina’s cheeks heated up.
Perhaps because of the sudden rise in fever, the thoughts in my head are randomly confused.
“Can you please?”
It was a voice that trembled, probably because of guilt.
Leonhardt smiled lightly and stroked Elina’s hair along the texture.
“You look cute.”
Leonhard pulled Elina’s neck.
The two lips overlapped.
Elina’s shoulders trembled lightly at the touch of her tongue pushing in as if to soothe a child without haste.
What if we were told to throw away Neftam again?
His hands grabbed Elina’s legs and lifted them onto her own. Elina let him go, shyly wrapping her arms around his neck.
It hung like a puppy meeting its owner.
“Gongja-nim… more… You can do more.”
Between breath and breath, Elina’s excited appeal came out.
Seeing that figure, Leonhardt’s mouth twisted.
“You’re more cheeky than you think”
Elina didn’t seem to know what she was doing, how dirty the words were.
“That, not that… ”
Leonhard bit off Elina’s small, soft tongue as if in a fit of rage.
“Huh… ”
All sense of reality disappears.
Elina tried to catch the accident that was slowly dissipating, but realized that even that was difficult.
‘Actually, I was a very weak person.’
Come to think of it, I have always lived a clinging life.
First to Neftam, then to Elin’s warmth, and now to the pleasure and affection of Leonhardt.
Elina barely realized how disrespectful her intentions to serve the god were.
‘It wasn’t much different from this.’
And now, serving God may have run out of time for Elina.
When Leonhardt removed his lips, a hot, sweet breath flowed between Elina’s glossy lips.
“little bit more… ”
Elina said eagerly.
As if in prayer, her eyes, stained with pleasure, reached Leonhardt.
“Why are you begging me like this?”
Leonhardt kissed Elina’s red lump again.
“Oh… ”
Elina let out a thin moan as if she had never uttered it at the chilling sensation.
I felt better than last time. The more he bullied her, the more sensitive Elina became.
Elina’s clothes were disheveled, revealing one thin shoulder and white collarbone.
When Leonhardt pressed his lips on the collarbone, Elina’s waist lightly bounced.
“Gongja-nim… hehe… !”
Feeling unbearable, Elina bit the back of her hand until it left marks on her teeth.
Embarrassed by such a groan, Elina struggled, not knowing what to do.
Leonhard’s hand touched Elina’s other shoulder as well.
“Should I do more?”
Leonhard whispered lowly. Leonhardt’s fingers touched the hem of Elina’s dress, which was hanging over her narrowly rounded shoulders.
Elina did not know what the words meant.
‘more… ‘
At that moment, Elina gasped.
Our eyes met. Leonhard’s golden eyes stared at Elina as if they were going to penetrate her.