130 – Al Solar
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Everything he said was true. In an instant, a chilly air passed through Lane’s body.
I shouldn’t have shown her trembling with anxiety here. Lane looked at him for a moment, holding his anxious heart in his chest, and took a deep breath.
It draws air full of demonic energy into its body. I practice what I practiced continuously while staying vigil with him, which speeds up the body’s circulation.
Mana and holy power move around the body, erasing demonic energy. The breath, which only functioned as a deep breath, continued about five times.
After finishing that, Lane looked around with calmer eyes.
Eron. It seemed that everything would be solved if only this heinous demon was gone. But reality is never going to turn out the way you think. If it were real, Ron would have cured his self-harm long ago and they could live happily ever after.
It was clear that this demon knew something about it. It was necessary to blow the information out somehow so that no one would lose his life even if he was tortured by tearing his limbs apart.
Lane thought. Ron’s words, “You can’t make the demons leave this place, and you can’t use magic,” stuck in my head. So, for now, let’s just do it to the extent that we lose our minds.
It was a choice that could be made because it was judged that there was no strength to overcome this situation.
Rain approached the scarred Ereon, who was sitting with his back against a tree. He seemed to be looking at her with fearful, monster-like eyes.
However, Lane didn’t care about that kind of gaze and approached her and pressed her carotid artery with a hand filled with holy power. After all, it is a living being, so if the blood flow to the brain is blocked, you will have no choice but to faint. In preparation for an unknown situation, it even contains the holy power, so you must try to resist to be unable to resist.
Ereon, whose stamina was already drained, passed out without even saying a word. As if having the highest beauty was a story of the distant past, her disheveled hair, severed arms, and vertically split legs changed her appearance into something grotesque.
Rain, who had subdued Ereon in a short time of a few seconds, approached him and said with a smile as natural as possible in his opinion.
“Don’t worry. We have no intention of abandoning you. As you said, we are colleagues and family. We will always, always be by your side.”
“Why are you always… so calm. Don’t you think I’m an idiot? You’re such a pathetic guy who couldn’t speak, moaned, developed a mental illness, and now vomits up like this.”
“I confessed. I love you. I mean it. I believe in you, I consider you a man and I love everything about you. Ever since.”
“Lie. Don’t lie. There’s no way anyone would think of such a crazy bastard that way.”
He gets up and approaches Lane while spitting out masochistic words. Dark magic circulates through his body and disappears. As if to replenish the demonic energy that disappeared with him, the demonic energy is supplied into his body from the outside again. Even though he felt pain to the point of tearing his body from the repetition of such a process, he moved and held onto Lane’s face tightly and continued.
“Scar. never said anything.”
“Everything about you was obtained to protect us. Don’t underestimate yourself. You are our comrade and deserve to be loved. I can accept everything about you. I…”
“Really? Even if I curse at you? Even if I beat you to the point of searching you? If I rape you, can you still do that?”
“Why do you say something that hurts yourself? I don’t think I saw you look sad when you said that?”
“Answer me first. Lane… lane guard on. If you do something you don’t like, can you tell me you like me?”
“of course.”
The answer came back without the slightest hesitation.
Ron was speechless.
“There’s no other reason. Because of you. It’s just because of you. Ever since I was young, you’ve lighted my path. You took me around, who was timid and couldn’t speak much. You told me wonderful stories. For a long time, I received from you Gratitude has turned into this feeling.”
“I looked down on you and treated you as a downer.
“But in the end, you continued to be with me. It doesn’t matter if everything you’ve done so far comes from being made. In the end, you worked hard for us and we got your help.”
“Rain. Guard on..! Why do you keep trying to accept everything? I don’t understand. Just throw it away.
“Expectation? No. It’s not what you want, it’s already happened. Now you accept it. You don’t want to push something out of your heart, do you? Tell me what you really want.”
“What are you going to do by talking? Solar seems to have already been disappointed in me, and Lian probably doesn’t have much left. O’Drox will eventually become disillusioned with me and leave. Probably…”
There was sincerity in what he said as he squeezed his head. As Lane continues to show signs of embracing him, he pushes him further and begins to put himself down. In it, his inner self and what he wanted began to be clearly revealed.
How nice it would be if the old conflicts were resolved just by putting down all the things we were carrying and telling others. If it were as easy as I thought, there would be no such thing as a crime in this world that starts with conflict between people.
“Look closely. Look closely. Lane Guardon, Al Sola, Lian Serwin, all of you.”
Staggering with his head wrapped, he approached Solar and Lian and forced them to look at him. They turned their heads without much resistance and were forced to look at him.
“Lian. The person in front of you isn’t the me from the days when I recruited you as an ally and went on a journey to kill the Demon King. I’ll make you happy- Rani. There’s no such thing as a damn thing. You’re not happy, so who are you going to make happy?”
“..sorry..sorry..”
“It’s nothing for you to apologize for. Your attitude is bothering me. Rather, just get angry. Be disappointed. Why do you keep blaming yourself instead of blaming me?”
“Oh that..”
“Lian… Lian Serwin. Please, end the nightmare. With your own hands.”
He grabbed Lian’s wrist. It was cold, as if there was no blood flow.
He grabbed her wrist and brought it to his neck. As if he was ordering him to stop breathing by grabbing him tightly.
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Naturally, Lian couldn’t. I’m just condensing the tears I’ve been holding back somehow and dropping them to the floor.
It collapses. Come crashing down. The man who saved her right in front of her begs to kill himself. Everything about her begins to crumble like a sandcastle crumbling.
“Please… why are you doing this…”
Lian, who had lost his will, couldn’t even think of shaking off the hand he was holding and shed tears.
Ron let go of Lian’s hand, who couldn’t even stare at him properly and didn’t even have the strength in his grip, and approached Sola.
“Solar.”
“Oh… don’t come… I’m sorry… don’t come…”
“Don’t turn your head. Look clearly. The me in front of you is different from the bastard you saved from a runaway mana. Even if I wait for you to go back to normal, it won’t come true.”
“I… I said it wrong… I said it too harshly…”
“Think, judge, execute. Aren’t you good at it? Throw away all other thoughts and memorize the chant. Quickly. Just like when destroying demons…”
“I can’t…”
The person who stabbed them also had a painful look. Ron, who said things that hurt others as well as himself, began to draw his eyes. The situation was getting progressively worse. Was it because of the demonic energy flowing in the air, or did the precarious barrier completely collapse due to cracks?
“Rain Guardon, Al Solar, Lian Serwin. I’ll say it again. Now I’m different from before. The one in front of you isn’t a skirmisher who used to be a warrior’s colleague, but a psychopath with delusions of persecution. You have to be with me to get your sanity. I’ll eat it. I can’t make you happy, and I can’t live up to your expectations. Never. Never..!”
“Ron, calm down. Think a little more calmly and you’ll be fine. If you drive out the demonic energy in the air, you’ll be fine. So…”
“Shut up. Shut up.. You guys just see me as a psychopath. Why do you keep trying so hard to carry me around.. You can be comfortable. You can live comfortably without worrying about anything. Why the hell..”
Scars exposed without a single bandage, and blood dripping from the wounds covered over them.
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Not long after, his face, which was covered in blood, could not be found at all as he had said. Sola muttered incomprehensible words and dragged her feet closer to him. And he kicked her out like that.
Solar reacted to an unprecedented rejection reaction.
‘Even if I didn’t say so. If only I had thought a little more calmly.’
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Numerous regrets follow one after another. The precarious state of mind starts to spit out only the memories that he did wrong, listing the past in reverse order in modern times.
The harsh words I said to him just a moment ago.
coercive speech.
A gaze that seems to be looking down in the middle of the day.
an act of failure to protect.
neglect of self-harm.
misunderstood that it would be okay.
runaway mana.
Pretending not to see him who was in pain the moment he entered the demon realm.
abuse.
cold shit.
A hand that has been cut off.
face of disgust.
Mistakes that come to mind so clearly that you want to destroy all your memories. In a way, you could say it was trivial, but for Solar now, it was more important than anything else. Because he thinks that he came to this situation because his faults piled up.
Who is really at fault? Before I could properly grasp the situation, my body moved first. She clung to his leg, randomly smearing wet dirt on her white robes.
He added all sorts of prefixes and suffixes to create words, but in the end, when he interpreted them, he ended up apologizing for his actions. Ron raised her from clinging to her lower lip at the horse, whose body was needlessly elongated. It wasn’t a rough touch like grabbing hair. But even so, Solar’s expression was collapsing in real time.
Because he no longer felt the warmth in his hand holding her.
Where did I go wrong? Where did this come from? Maybe it went awry from the start. Maybe it started at the point where they passed it off as okay with him.
Where did the seeds of conflict come from? Why did my life, which should have been smooth after dealing with the demon king, become like this? Since when have you been patient?
Sola couldn’t answer. There were already too many things in her head to think deeply.