131 – Ryan Serwin
Ryan looks at him with tears flowing down his face.
It wasn’t because I understood his situation. Empathizing with others and fully understanding them are two different things. Like everyone else, Lian didn’t quite understand what was going on with him.
I had no idea how painful it was or how much I had endured. Still, deep down, she was relieved that it wasn’t herself that drew his attention.
His selfish heart was hurt again and he shook his head, but Lian was not used to such a collapse. While helping the adventurer, he saw a relationship that was disintegrated due to an argument, but they were all people who had been hastily put together, and Lian didn’t even have much interest in them in the first place.
But this time the case was different. A situation in which the tower that he painstakingly built over a long period of time, related to his relationship with his dear colleagues, is collapsing.
I was happy until I defeated the Demon King. My body and mind were exhausted, but I did not give up because he was by my side. He became her light from the moment he stretched out his hand after cutting off everything that entangled her, and while traveling with him, her love for him was painted over with awe.
Watching the people I love and seeing the colleagues I care about are together, I was able to reconcile my mind.
But,
‘What did I do?’
I would have bothered him by repeating meaningless actions. In order to satisfy her own desires, she was carried on the back of him who was already having a hard time, and she interpreted his attitude of taking care of herself exceptionally well.
‘Is this the result?’
It was clear that if the existence of God really existed, that person would have a really bad personality. To bring a ray of light to the girl who took everything away, to show her happiness for a long period of time, and yet again try to take everything away.
what he said His words still lingered in Ryan’s mind.
I’ll make you happy – he said. Slightly curved eye corners and slightly raised lip corners. I said it with an expression that gave me a sense of trust that I didn’t have. But now, the situation was far from that.
promptly. In a situation where it would not be strange if it breaks at any time, Lian’s head begins to imagine the worst case. The unfortunate past gave her the ability to draw a bad situation easily in every situation, and that ability was displayed now.
It was the worst. The situation created by imagination was one of three. Either he commits suicide, leaves himself completely, or ignores himself. It was safe to say that any future not related to him was the worst. Because he was his everything, his light and his god.
I tried to hold back the sobs, but I couldn’t stop the sobs that started to come out.
“Huh… black…”
The cry of Lian, who had the weakest character among the group, spread. Ron caught it and came back to her, leaving Solar behind.
“Lian Serwin.”
His voice was cold. But there was no such thing as anger towards himself. It was like the final lament of someone who gave up everything.
The voice calling him didn’t contain any emotion, let alone anger. It was more frightening, so Lian couldn’t answer.
My lips trembled. It seemed that his insecurities would be revealed if he spoke. It seemed that confirmation of such anxieties would make his condition worse.
Magi’s influence? What did the devil say earlier? After that demon appeared, his condition began to deteriorate noticeably. yes. It’s all because of the devil…
..therefore? what can i do I can’t do anything with my magical power. Holy power… Is it okay to use holy power?
Her self-confidence has noticeably diminished. The demon entered through the gap in the huge barrier that had been spread before. As a result of the choices he made on his own initiative, his condition deteriorated. You can’t even predict what will happen if you make the wrong choice this time.
Misfortune seemed to be involved in everything.
seeds of unhappiness.
Suddenly, the word came to mind. Remnants of the past, which I thought I had forgotten, now surfaced. With that word as a starting point, Rian’s past began to rummage through her head again.
Ryan couldn’t do anything more. Just sit back and repeat the retching.
“Ooh… Ugh…”
‘director’, ‘director’
raw grain, gore, worm
loneliness, silence, darkness
loss of will
‘Ellie’
Unhappiness
fairy tale, prince, princess, fairy
salvation, happiness
‘Mother’, ‘Sister’
Unhappiness
demon, monster, ‘mother’, ‘director’
Pain, flames, screams, laments, pleas, curses, confusion
Hero, Salvation, Awakening, Companion, ‘Lian Serwin’
awe, hope, affection, desire
demon world, demon king, dissolution
reunion…
Unhappiness.
In the end, misfortune comes in the end. Because he is the seed of unhappiness. It has always been so. When it was time to live the future with hope, it always took it away and presented a corresponding misfortune.
It will be like that this time too. because of me. ‘Cause I’m by your side
Lian looked around as the old memories sank in this way. It was because I was able to calm myself down by looking at the surroundings, which had changed from the time I was confined in a small room where I could barely spread my feet.
In the same way this time, I looked around to shake off the remnants of the past. However, not the comrades who gave him reassurance, not the man who became the light, but only the horrors that came into his eyes.
The warrior who was the center of the party, who kept his mouth shut and stopped in place, unable to say anything, hesitated and lost his confidence.
The lofty wizard, unable to even shake off the soil soiling his robes, sat down on the spot and apologized over and over again while saying several sentences at the same time.
A strong warrior who doesn’t even show his face by leaving his seat, maybe he didn’t exist in the first place.
The skirmisher who was her radiance, constantly hurting herself, shattered to the point of mistaking her misfortune as being contagious.
Everything was heading towards the end. The end marked by misfortune and collapse.
All endings in fairy tales end happily. From the stories of princes and princesses she had read for the first time to all the fairy tales she had read since becoming a saint.
Maybe it was a book written by people who were unhappy in reality, so it had a happy ending.
“Lian. Lian Serwin.”
Once again, the name he gave him is spoken on his lips without any emotion. Ryan still couldn’t answer.
At least in this situation, Lane’s thoughts, which had remained calm on the outside, reached a little deeper.
He couldn’t deal with powerful monsters. It’s hard to say instead, but they cut people who were hostile or sold their souls to the devil on their behalf. If it was possible to deal with it alone, it was dealt with alone, and if not, it was finished with what they had suppressed.
There was a lot of human blood on those hands. As soon as they stood in front of the door of death, those who had been faithful to their instincts like demons until the battle, showed their human appearance, prayed for their mistakes, and appealed for recognition.
And he cut them down without delay. I’ve seen too many cases where people who have tasted it once repeat their mistakes. There is a difference in weight between cutting a person with self-will and cutting down a monster that moves only by instinct.
From the severed throat, slightly warm blood gushed out like a fountain. Its expression, which has fallen to the ground, is looking at itself as it has been cut open with the last thoughts of its life. They wear the same clothes, walk on two legs, and live on two arms. There is no choice but to be reluctant to kill someone whose basic behavior is the same as himself.
The human body is harder than expected, so blades cannot easily enter it. The feeling of scratching and splitting something soft and something hard with a slight sense of resistance. Maybe no, cutting those things that are definitely inside of you…
It would be a lie to get used to that feeling. It’s just that the coldly cold recognition no longer functions, and the scars continue to be drawn in the heart. If you’re a normal human, you won’t feel good about beating people.
So it was clear that he had far more trauma than most of his colleagues.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t fully understand his psychology. After all, they were strangers.
At that time, a sentence presumed to be a chant began to leak out of Solar’s mouth, which was far away.
Solar murmured as if the thought repeated and came to her mind and became a chant. And no one was treated as a bomb as an unstable wizard.
A clunky sentence in a common language. It’s something I’ve only vaguely heard about once while traveling. Even so, the magic remained deep in Solar’s memory.
‘Pain Transfer’. All of the magical chant containing black magic that Solar would never use were memorized.
─Steel puck
A lump fell from her fingertips. It was a by-product of Solar’s vast magical power that could explode and take everyone’s lives if it was wrong.
After failing to break the stockade, Lane threw herself to dispose of the byproducts. But it worked faster.
As soon as it hits the ground, it starts emitting black smoke.
is it exploding? What if it explodes here? There was no time to think. It was as if something had invaded Ryan’s mind.
Something that has invaded like that begins to roam the whole body. as if to catch the ground. Eventually, it stops somewhere in the body and begins to take root. Even though he used healing magic by using more than necessary holy power, he did not think of escaping.
Ryan finally knew what it was. Pain transfer was cast over a wide area and was activated for herself, Rain, and Solar. Of course, the subject is Ron, whom Solar originally saw.
The by-product emitted smoke as if sublimating and then disappeared. Everyone was exposed to the black smoke, and everyone became an object of magic.