43 – Haerin Kang (43)
Haerin Kang (43)
The first thing I thought of was to take down the 『Journal』.
Other than that, I couldn’t guess why ‘Ban Yi-jae’, a character in 『Journal』, appeared in reality.
Of course, there is no certainty that the stalker is Ban Lee Jae.
However, PD Ban, who is an avid reader more than anyone else, felt that way, and I also felt a sense of deja vu.
Is this really a coincidence?
‘Why didn’t I think of that?’
Ban PD judged his thoughts as ‘misunderstanding’ and ‘delusion’ and immediately withdrew, but I am different.
‘It’s quite possible.’
The fact that Kang Hae-rin has become a reality is not only ‘Kang Hae-rin’ has become a reality, it is a matter of time after all, it means that the characters in my novels appear in reality.
It’s an afterthought, but it’s too naive to think that ‘only Kang Hae-rin’ will become a reality.
Of course, it would have been more reasonable to predict that the characters I created would ‘appear’ someday, or even now somewhere in Korea, but it’s my fault.
I bit my lip hard.
“PD-nim, you have to put down your novel.”
“Writer… I told you the other day…”
Ban PD-nim said as if he was embarrassed.
“In principle, it is difficult for us to take down a work that is under contract… We are here to give feedback on the work, but the recent reader response is a mess, so if that’s the case, you can rest a little longer. If it’s difficult, I’ll brainstorm with you.”
Thank you.
However, PD Ban’s words could not change the situation positively at all.
Because the novel itself was a problem.
“No. You absolutely have to come down. please.”
“……..”
PD Ban let out a small sigh.
She thought for a moment, then said.
“…If you get off, you know you can’t serialize on other platforms or sign contracts with other managers, right?”
“of course.”
“…isn’t it a waste?”
Ban PD bit his lip and said.
“Worth the money…”
“It’s not about money!”
Ban PD shouted.
“What do you think of the readers who love my work and my heart!? I’m saying this because I love 『Journal』, but it’s too bad that it suddenly stopped like this, and I think the fans will feel sorry for it… hehehe… So…”
“……..”
Suddenly, a sob escaped from Ban PD-nim’s mouth.
“PD-sama…?!”
I screamed in surprise.
Crying here all of a sudden?
A lot of people will be sad if I do it all year round, but no one will cry because of it.
Even my older sister, who recommends and comments on my work every day, and gives me feedback on my own, won’t go that far.
Ban PD… was really sad.
almost feverish.
“No, it’s too bad! It has been serialized for over 1000 episodes, but does it make sense to end it like this without any kind of beauty! I thought it would be an all-time great work, but I thought it would be in the top 30 among Korean web novels. It’s not because I picked it, hehehe…”
If you see a grown woman, especially a woman wearing a well-groomed suit, crying like a child, you can’t help but be quite embarrassed.
When the embarrassment disappeared, I burst into laughter because I thought I knew how much the PD-nim had thought of 『Journal』.
“… Thank you, of course. sincerely. If it wasn’t for PD, my work would have stayed in the deep sea.”
“… Author, can’t you think about it again? Seriously, I know it’s nasty, but I still think that the work I look up to every day is going to come down like this… hehehe…”
PD Ban took off his thick glasses and sniffled.
“If serialization continues, this will become a real legendary work… Ah, sorry, this is what it looks like…”
“…PD-sama…”
I felt guilty for her again, but I couldn’t take responsibility for what was happening.
It is a sin to let such things go unattended.
If 『Ilji』 is published serially, Ban Yi-jae, and later villains Park Sang-woo, Jeong Beom-sik, and Jang Hye-ok, and even detective Park Kang-seong, who is pursuing Kang Hae-rin terribly, even though he is a figure of justice, will be able to handle it from then on. it becomes impossible
“sorry. There is only this…”
I bowed my head and said.
“I think I should take down the work.”
“… all right. If so…”
PD-nim took out a wet tissue from his bag and said weakly while wiping under his eyes.
“I will tell the manager.”
“… sorry. And thank you.”
“… Instead, please do your next project with me.”
“……”
“sorry. This stuff sucks too. If I get a boyfriend, I will definitely become an obsessive woman. The contract is discussed separately. we. First of all, just focus on publishing good works… It’s great.”
Watching the PD blowing his nose, I smiled.
I know I shouldn’t laugh, but I think I know how much she thinks of me.
I handed her the wet tissue again.
#
I asked PD-nim to get off the bus in the middle of the road and take a taxi back to Kang Hae-rin’s house.
“Why did you come back?”
Kang Hae-rin was wearing street clothes.
The moment I saw it, I realized it right away.
what she intends to do
She is now ‘disturbed’ by me.
Even though I didn’t tease.
Otherwise, there was no way Kang Hae-rin, who was obsessed with Lee Dong-min, would ask, “Why did you come?” as if seeing an uninvited guest.
She always wanted to be with me.
The reason I set out to find her was because she, who had been trying to be with me every day, disappeared for days.
Sending me and class PD together in the first place was something she wouldn’t do.
I recalled her personality.
Haerin Kang hates sitting still and waiting for someone to come.
She is a natural hunter.
“Strong Haerin.”
“huh?”
Kang Hae-rin said with a smile as if playing with a person above her head, as always.
“Where are you going?”
“What is it? I thought it was my role to be obsessive. An obsessive man… not so good, but it’s okay if it’s you…”
“Don’t play around.”
At my words, she laughed.
Returning here, I thought a lot and decided all my course of action going forward.
I will never let Haerin Kang kill.
Even if it means killing me.
This is a basic premise.
Although, of course, I would avoid both if possible.
If you’re lucky to have the 『Journal』 written down and it works well, the villain will no longer be ‘realized’.
Then, the enemy that ‘us’ will deal with is limited to half Lee Jae.
Of course, among the main characters appearing in the beginning, there is a possibility that some people occurred together.
They should investigate further.
I told her all of this.
Haerin Kang was not surprised.
Now she has read all of my novel 『Journal』 and if so, she knows what will happen to her.
He must have read who he killed and how he killed it while contrasting it with his ‘memory’.
The problem was that the memories he had were not retrieved at all in reality, but he must have realized it the moment he saw Ban Yi-jae.
‘Ah, that guy has become a reality too.’
You probably figured it out sooner than anyone else.
Logically speaking, it was around 900 episodes when I wrote the study episode where I met Kang Hae-rin, so her memory will also stay around that time.
In other words, Kang Hae-rin ‘already’ had the memory of killing Ban Yi-jae, who appeared in the first 15 episodes.
Kang Hae-rin was the one who dug into Ban Lee-jae’s eyes and cut off his hands and feet from the closest than anyone else.
There was no way he didn’t know what he looked like.
She did not deny that I recognized Ban Yi-jae and saw through her thoughts.
I just laughed and said this.
“All you have to do is move according to the scenario you created. I was born this way anyway, so I’ll do as you say. Can’t you see a guy like that walking around the streets openly? Anyone I know would suffer more because of it.”
“That’s none of your business!”
I shouted.
Hae-Rin Kang, who pretends to be okay but knows that I hate murder, would not have wanted to go against my will and do something like that.
Wasn’t she suffering too?
The memory of murder, the urge to kill.
Anyone who has such a thing cannot live together in an ordinary society.
That would have made her more lonely.
But if it was all a dream job, she would have been given a second chance.
‘You can live a new life.’
Now she was going to hell again.
Because Ban Lee Jae appeared.
She intends to punish him instead of me.
“Because he gave it to me.”
“stop!”
I wrote evil.
I know why Kang Hae-rin is so self-deprecating and why he is roundly criticizing me.
As well as the grim despair that lay underneath.
But I also know that’s not the truth.
“You said To me.”
“what?”
“You asked for help, you did.”
“……”
Kang Hae-rin’s composure collapsed.
She averted my gaze for the first time.
“… that? It didn’t mean much.”
“Haerin Kang, stop it. I know you meant it. I want you to help me. I want you to catch me.”
I said again.
“I will help you. Like you said, I’m the one who made you that way, so I’ll take responsibility. So leave Ban Yi-jae to me. I…”
“What are you going to do?”
Kang Haerin cut me off.
There was anger on her face.
But it wasn’t blaming me, it was anger tinged with concern for me.
“Baby, did you forget you were knocked over by me?”
“……”
“I know that saying this will hurt your pride, but the other person is a serial killer. I’m still confused too. Apparently nothing came up when I searched weeks ago, so why is it ‘appearing’ now? But how do you deal with a man who doesn’t exercise like himself and who looks like an abandoned puppy, wanting to protect him? Do you think I would tolerate that!?”
“……”
Kang Hae-rin was genuinely angry.
And I knew too.
Exactly who the man observing around this house is and how he is with her.
Haerin Kang spoke as if she had read my thoughts.
“You don’t know, but I kept reading The Journal. Do you know what? Because the ‘Kang Haerin’ you want will be there. Thanks to that, I learned other information unnecessarily.”
useless information.
Maybe he was talking about half Lee Jae.
Even I, a writer, couldn’t match Ban Yi-jae with the villain in my novel when I first saw him.
It’s a character that was created a long time ago.
Haerin Kang continued.
“I just couldn’t understand it. I’m the same as Kang Hae-rin in that movie, everything from my appearance to my chest is exactly the same, so why does he reject me…”
“I’m not denying it…!”
I tried to protest with all my might, but I hurriedly averted my gaze when I saw Kang Hae-rin caressing her breasts thoughtlessly and thoughtlessly.
“… Hey, can you stop touching that place?”
But she continued.
“I thought while watching PD Ban Yuri. The reason she gave me these big breasts must be because she likes big breasts… Then wouldn’t she fall in love with a woman of this size? Not an abnormal woman like me, but a woman who loves her work more than anyone else?”
“… PD-nim doesn’t like me. I saw it because of the homemade chocolate, but he just likes my novels.”
“I was jealous of my sister too. I’m going crazy with envy that you share some bloodline with him.”
“…that’s… I admit it. My sister is very obsessed with me and has frequent skinship. so it’s not weird That’s enough.”
Somehow, I kept making excuses.
However, I thought it was better because this story was going to come out anyway.
“My sister and I grew up relying on each other. So it doesn’t mean anything different. Harin.”
“Park Se-young, Baek Yu-ram, I wanted to kill them all. Can you leave me alone like this? Was it just a matter of time before I killed one of them?”
“……”
“I was envious of people who pretended to be close to me and treated me comfortably. I’m not a fun ‘character’.”
“……”
Kang Hae-rin’s self-deprecating tone was subtly playful, so I was confused at the moment.
To write such words out of the blue in the middle of a serious confession.
But she wasn’t joking.
“I am a very serious character. is not it? Serious characters always have to be serious. Killing people, as if that were my destiny.”
“I like your personality. that’s what made you I made you because I like a calm and stable personality like you. So, I am more…”
“Yes, I was made.”
She raised her head and had a sad expression.
Watching it, something inside me trembled.
“Haerin, I…!”
“You tried to kill me.”
“……..”
You’re finally here.
I bit my lip.
Kang Hae-rin’s other words could be excused somehow, but I can’t deny that one.
I tried to ‘kill’ her.
It was because of the illusion that she killed Ban PD, but Kang Hae-rin must have been convinced of my murderous intention.
That I really tried to kill her.
It was the worst evil and betrayal I could commit as a creator and lover.
No wonder she was hurt.
“I am a ‘character’ made up. So it doesn’t matter how you die. I am a sudden existence that cannot melt into your life. Without me, without me, you would be able to have a good time with your ‘human’ friends, become a lover, become a family, and have a good time.”
Kang Hae-rin went to the kitchen with a tired expression.
And handed me the cleaver.
“I will give you another chance. kill me.”
“……..”
“Ban Lee Jae already noticed my presence. You know, but in the original novel, Ban Yi-jae falls for my beauty and starts stalking me.”
“……..”
“Then trespass. I don’t know how long that will take. But it will be soon. When that moment comes, I will kill Ban Yi-jae. Terribly too. Perhaps more brutal than the scenes in his novels. So, the wheel of fate has already turned. You can’t stop me. Because that’s not my personality. Once the first murder begins, I won’t be able to stop it, and other prey will appear one by one, just like the stories in the novel I created. I can’t stop.”
Kang Haerin said forcefully.
It felt like I had been thinking about it for quite some time.
While I was anxious to protect Park Se-young, Baek Yoo-ram, my sister, and PD Ban Yu-ri from Kang Hae-rin, Kang Hae-rin was thinking about that.
Worried about your own existence.
I read and re-read 『Journal』.
Find your own identity in it and at the same time sculpt yourself to be liked by me.
personality.
character.
It is given from outside.
We believe that there is something inside of us that is unique to us, but in fact there is no such thing.
We are beings determined by the eyes of others, and our desires are bound to be those of others.
Kang Hae-rin was especially like that.
This is because she is a creation made of the desires of others, that is, the desires of people themselves.
She resigned herself to the fact that she was not a human being made of the breath of God, but an imaginary being composed of human texts.
He is confessing that he is in despair that he cannot become ‘real’ to me.
In a word, Kang Hae-rin recognizes herself not as a human being, but as a part of a huge narrative.
And her anesthesia stemmed from there.
I gasped as I realized the depth of her despair.
“no.”
I threw away the cleaver I received from Haerin Kang.
“I don’t think of you that way.”
I approached her
Kang Hae-rin was making a ‘dead’ expression.
I want to save that expression somehow.
I want to teach her to think of herself as a decent person, who thinks that even if she dies, she is no more useful than a speck of dust.
“You are precious to me. That’s why I can’t ever let you kill people. In that case, it is better for me to kill him. I’ll take care of Ban Yi-jae.”
“I told you. He can’t…”
Kang Hae-rin was cynical.
I kissed Kang Haerin on the lips.
The negative, self-deprecating, and hopeless words that were about to come out of her mouth evaporated.
I parted my lips and said.
“I am a writer.”
A little light returned to Kang Hae-rin’s eyes.
“I know everything in this world. As you said, your physical abilities may decline. But I know the weaknesses of the character I created.”
I said forcefully.
“Kang Haerin, please stay still. I’ll take care of everything. And I will be responsible for you too. Since you were born, your life, your body, and your personality.”