Chapter 13. Superiority or inferiority (8)
“Well, as I said before, this is the concept of amplification. You can double or triple something that already exists, but you can’t increase something that doesn’t exist at all. Likewise, you can’t create emotions that don’t exist.
It has exciting effects such as making your heart beat faster and releasing adrenaline, but that’s it. And now John’s… Pheromones? It’s not enough to change behavior. But.”
“Just?”
“That’s the way it is so far, we’ll have to wait and see what happens next.”
Suddenly, I remembered the zombies I had faced so far. It wasn’t always like that, but for some reason the thought occurred to me, ‘Do you think he’ll be upset if I do this?’, And it actually worked well.
It was also thanks to the playing experience I had accumulated before coming here. And if you add the help of my virus. And if it can be effective to some extent on ‘humans’ who have not yet been ‘zombified’…
I remember the leader who tried to catch me and kill me. Breasts that looked large and elastic, and purple eyes shining above them. Even terrifying strength.
If I ‘amplify’ the feelings of a woman named Virginia, she might come with a helicopter and blow my head off again.
But as Cassandra said, it is not all bad. Right now, Leticia is showing me quite a favor, isn’t she?
“Cassandra. “What if?”
“Yes, John.”
“If the body moves away, will the effect of pheromones decrease significantly?”
“Because it’s a different area. As I said before, your pheromones are not that strong. However, if the tolerance is very weak, it may become something similar to addiction.
For example… Certain substances emitted by catnip act like s*xual hormones in cats. So when they are very young they don’t react much, but after 6 months they react quite violently. However, not all cats respond to adult cats. It’s that much of a difference.
Perhaps there are people who are very sensitive and react sensitively to the ingredients you emit? To such a being, it would probably be an unforgettable partner and like a drug. In that case, you have to be careful.”
“Why?”
“That’s because addiction cannot be controlled.”
* * * * *
After cleaning up, we went back to our respective rooms.
The top floor of the laboratory is the living space. Bed, desk, chair and storage. It was even equipped with a gun rack.
The end of the day is cleaning the equipment. It’s annoying and cumbersome, but in the end, these are the things that save my life in dangerous moments.
As I mindlessly cleaned the gun and tightened the equipment, I suddenly fell asleep. But I didn’t sleep well today.
I was supposed to talk to Camilla, but somehow I was in no mood.
I’m going to sleep now.
I think so. I drank a lot of alcohol today. Well, it’s not just today, we can talk about it tomorrow as well.
I headed to the bathroom to wash my hands, which were dirty with grease.
“Fuha.”
Every time I look at the hallway floor, I can’t help but smile. Glow-in-the-dark stickers were twinkling, showing the path to take. This is a measure to prevent light from leaking outside the building.
It may be a bit childish, but you won’t get lost or knock on the wrong door.
“Oh, John. “Didn’t you sleep?”
Camila came out of the bathroom.
“Oh, I’m going to wash my hands. She got some grease on her hands from cleaning her gun. You?”
“I’m also busy repairing guns and washing my hands.”
A little silence. Camilla lowers her head and tries to walk past me.
“Over there. Camilla. What I decided to talk about earlier, I can’t do it today… “Are you a little tired?”
Camilla is speechless. The silence continued a little longer than before. Then, how about we talk tomorrow, she says.
“John. “Have you ever cut your nails?”
Suddenly?
“Why are my fingernails suddenly dry?”
“If you haven’t shaved it, shave it. Let’s talk in my room in 20 minutes. “Wash your hands well.”
This was also unexpected. When we talked, we used to do it in the lobby at the end of the 4th floor. There was a sofa, a table, a vending machine, and even a TV, although it wasn’t working, so it had quite a parlor atmosphere.
But what about a room? It’s a fairly well-insulated building, but does this mean that I don’t want Cassandra to see it?
I washed my hands thoroughly, cut my toenails as well as my fingernails, and washed them once more. She went down to the third floor, picked up a bottle of wine, two glasses, a bag of salted peanuts, and knocked gently on Camilla’s door.
“Oh, are you here? Come in. “Let’s do this together.”
Camilla was pitching a tent.
“Why a tent?”
“I have to turn on the lights. “This is a tent with a light-blocking film, so it will be okay to turn on the lights.”
Of course, we put up barricades and curtains inside all the windows of this building. One shield is perfect. Camilla says she won’t tolerate even one.
“Did you wash in the meantime?”
From Noble mtl dot com
She had a scarf wrapped around her head and even had a faint scent of body wash.
“Pull that side a little further. You didn’t bring Minsk wine, did you? “You have to sell it to her.”
“Elsa. Should I bring something from Minsk?”
“Just drink it.”
Camilla’s room was a little larger than mine, so she didn’t mind pitching a small tent. Click, and turn on the light. T-shirt and pink dolphin pants. It’s a comfortable outfit.
At first, we just had a drink with each other. Maybe it was because I had already drank a lot in the evening, but even though I only drank a little, I felt very drunk.
“It reminds me of Safe House. “It doesn’t seem that long ago, but it feels like such a long time ago.”
“Yes.”
The strange thing is Camilla. She becomes increasingly silent and lowers her head further. It almost makes me wonder if he’s dozing off. She almost regretted that she had picked the wrong day.
“… “Can’t I do that?”
Then she says something out of the blue.
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
A deep sigh. Camilla threw down her scarf. Her hair, still wet, stuck to her.
“What about pheromones?”
“Why is that?”
“… I am there. Every time you and Cassandra talk like that, it’s a bit… It feels like it’s getting farther away. Sometimes I wonder if I’m weird. How can you talk so calmly? So do you. Cassandra, that woman too. Ultimately, this means that the virus in your body becomes stronger. No?”
Before answering hastily, she filled another glass.
It’s just as Camilla said. No, this is a ‘normal’ reaction. Usually, people infected with the zombie virus scream and shoot themselves in the head, or leave something behind to live like humans until they die.
Like Cassandra and I, ‘Oh, it’s not a big deal? It is abnormal to think, ‘Then there must be something useful about it?’ Cassandra, that’s because she doesn’t think about anything other than ‘eradicating the virus.’
“John. You are a person It’s not a tool, it’s not an object, it’s not even a weapon. And it’s not happening in anyone else, it’s happening in your body. How can you say that? How on earth can you be so calm… “
“Are you saying this because you’re worried about me?”
Camilla lowered her head and trembled her shoulders.
“John. I can’t sleep. Every night I dream of becoming a zombie. And it always bites you. I say no, I don’t like it. “You struggle like that, but before you know it, my mouth is biting you.”
“It’s okay. Camilla. “It’s all a dream.”
“I thought so too. Until now. However… You saw it earlier. That Rottweiler. The dog had a memory of home.
Who is the parrot we met that imitated human speech? What about the wolf that preyed on the human summoned by the parrot?
Those guys are not dull. He can even think! “You saw that he can perform a surprise attack like a normal human being!”
I was going to say that it was just an instinctive action. However, I myself was not able to clearly distinguish what instinct meant and, conversely, what intelligence meant.
“… I’m going crazy, but how can you act like it’s someone else’s business… “
“That’s it, this place to me…” “
That was so. To me, this is just a different world. A world to enjoy for a moment. I happened to be trapped here, and I still can’t find a way out, but my real world is not here, but somewhere else.
I ‘know’ that.
Not only did I know, I experienced it. For most of my life, the memories are still ‘over there’. This world is not my world. I just came here to hang out for a while.
But what if. What if something like this happens in Korea, in the daily life I enjoy? And if I fall into the same situation… You can’t be as cold-hearted as you are now.
There is such an unavoidable gap between Camilla and me. Not only with Camilla, but with everyone else, the situation, the circumstances, the world.
Suddenly, a phrase that people like to use, ‘I have attained enlightenment,’ comes to mind. ‘Don’t dwell on small things. Just think for a moment that you have come to this world to play. ‘Everything just passes by and becomes enjoyable.’
Is this what it meant?
But Camilla seems to have understood my words a little differently.
“… Does it make you laugh? Why. “Are you going back to Minsk anyway?”
Camilla still thinks of me as a spy from Minsk. How can we resolve this misunderstanding?
“I’m not going. And I’m not a Minsk spy.”
“Lie.”
“I’ll say it again. I won’t leave you behind. And I have no intention of leaving until this whole thing somehow gets better. Anyway, until Cassandra develops a cure or something… “
“What does it all mean if you become a zombie?”
Camilla clenches her fists. The tendons rose. He seems a little excited.
“Camilla. “That’s a bit extreme.”
“You really need to listen to me.”
Camilla points at me. Have you ever been like this? Her eyes are very aggressive. I think I drank too much.
“I don’t care what she makes. Remedy? It would be nice to make it. Maybe I will make it, and unfortunately I may not be able to make it. Anyway, I think I have skills and I know a lot.
However, if she turns you into a zombie or does something strange because she made that great cure or something, I will kill her. No joke. At that time, I didn’t care if you tried to rip me off. Do you understand?”
I think you’re right that you’re too excited. I guess earlier… The two of us rolling around was quite…
“No way. If something like that happens, I’ll be the first to say no. And for now, you can trust me.”
“Why didn’t you do that to me?”
“… Uh?”
Camilla takes a swig from a glass of wine. Without even waiting for the pourer, she grabbed the bottle, filled it to the brim, and drank half of it again.
“… You. For me. “I said I didn’t.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Why do you always take Cassandra’s side?”