160 – Traitors (5)
As soon as I leave the house, my legs become stiff.
I couldn’t say anything or take any action.
The feeling of betrayal that came over me in an instant is holding me down and holding me down.
My eyelids blinked weakly, and my hands had no strength.
The sound of my heavy breathing flowed back to me through my ears.
I slowly rolled my eyes and looked ahead, and the rain was pouring down coolly.
I couldn’t even tell when the rain started.
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Nevertheless, I walked forward.
My clothes got wet, but I didn’t have the energy to care about it.
I walked without knowing where I was going.
Memories come back to life all over the village.
Even though I don’t want to see it, everything comes to mind and bothers me.
A place where Ner and I laughed together.
The street where I walked holding hands with Arwin.
The square where we watched the circus with them.
From the dance I did with Ner to the moment I hugged Arwin.
The whole stock pin was full of her memories with them.
But it hurts more than ever that I can’t trust those memories.
This feeling of betrayal shakes and tortures me.
Attacks that hurt your heart.
If they hadn’t meant anything to me, it wouldn’t have hurt so much.
As much as they were precious to me and as much as they were my support, it must have been painful.
In that pain, I finally looked up at the sky.
I try not to believe, but trials keep coming.
I muttered, unable to even memorize God’s name.
I am tired of precious people leaving my side.
If you are doing this because you have some kind of obligation… I hope you will stop now.
“…Please do it in moderation…”
It was fortunate that no residents of Stockin were visible due to the pouring rain.
In the empty streets, I walked wherever my steps led me.
After walking around in a daze, I come to my senses in one place.
A graveside with endless tombstones.
All the members who died while leading the Red Flame Troupe are spread out before me.
Looking at the crew, I lowered my gaze.
Adam’s grave was right in front of him.
‘Adam, sleep here.’
I read the tombstone.
I am sinking.
…But this time, there was no one who could help me.
Rain flowed down my cheeks.
I couldn’t tell whether it was tears or not.
I knelt in front of my brother Adam’s grave.
My brother’s death, which I kept putting off in my mind.
He survived death thanks to his wives.
My brother, my teacher… And my most reliable colleague, Adam.
I placed my hand on my brother’s tombstone.
And then he covered his eyes with his other hand and remained frozen like that for a long time.
The tears I had been holding back began to flow.
No matter how fiercely they fight, couples have no choice but to see each other at night.
Arwin was waiting for Berg, pondering that fact.
We are not divorced yet.
Berg was still her husband.
Wiping away the endless tears, Arwin sat by her bed and waited for Berg.
The night deepens, but Berg does not return.
Arwin waited for him quietly in the quiet house.
I was afraid. What else will he hear from Berg?
But it wasn’t like I could back down.
I would like to think that her reaction as seen by Berg the other day was due to her outburst of anger.
…Even if that wasn’t the case, I wanted to somehow beg for reconciliation.
Unlike physical pain, this pain coming from my chest was endless.
Every moment I was away from Berg was painful. I was anxious and afraid every moment.
I was afraid that if we continued like this, we would really break up, and that I would become someone who really had nothing to do with Berg.
Arwin frowned at her and grabbed her chest.
She flinched in pain, unable to help but let out a moan.
She only looked at the leaves of Berg’s World Tree in the darkness.
The withered leaves showed no signs of getting better.
At that moment, the front door of the house opens.
Arwin lifted her upper body up, as if she was coming to her senses.
Wipes the area around her eyes and swallows her saliva.
Her hands were carefully placed in front of her knees as she caught her breath.
The sound of chasing footsteps echoed.
The sound is heavy because she got wet from the rain.
As expected, the door opens.
Arwin looked up at her own husband.
Berg looked at herself for a moment… Then looked around her.
As if finding Ner’s location.
But Ner followed Berg right after he left the house, and Arwin didn’t know what happened after that.
As if it didn’t matter, Arwin slowly approached Berg, who walked in wet from her rain.
Without even being able to say why he was in such a state… I reached out my hand to him without saying a word.
“…I have a cold, Berg. From clothes…”
I tried to talk to him as if it were natural, but Berg’s cold eyes blocked my words.
Arwin cringed at the look in his eyes.
All foolish attempts end up being blocked.
Arwin finally lost his strength and let his hands go limp.
And then he somehow managed to squeeze the words out.
“Not yet…I’m still your wife…”
Arwin did not know how to deal with Berg, who had completely changed.
In this situation where we did not know who would remain by Berg’s side… Precious time was passing by.
Soon, Berg took off his wet top without saying a word.
It didn’t seem like he was particularly conscious of Arwin’s words.
But Arwin shamelessly felt warmth upon seeing him like that.
Looking at the other person’s bare body was like looking at their secret side… It felt like a breeze was blowing into my frustrated heart.
Arwin wanted to warm Berg’s cold body.
Just like we did under the tree roots in the past.
If we share warmth and apologize like that, won’t something change?
Arwin also knew that there was a major crisis in their relationship right now.
But Arwin’s dream was to share his life with Berg.
Arwin wanted to think that this moment was a crisis that could be overcome.
If only that were possible… This would have been a momentary pain in a long relationship.
Arwin slowly approached Berg, who was sitting on the bed.
Without a word she went to find her own place.
But Berg’s cold words stop her from taking action.
Arwin could not say anything as his heart froze momentarily.
Berg didn’t even look at Arwin as he said that.
He laid her body roughly on her bed and covered her eyes with her arms.
Arwin could not move due to Berg’s words.
I didn’t want to go out.
It was a shared master bedroom.
It was the moment I could be closest to Berg.
It was a night that every couple should definitely spend together.
Arwin blinked her eyes and took a step towards Berg.
“-Get out. “This is your final warning.”
But before she could get any closer, Berg spoke.
Arwin felt tears slowly welling up in the corners of her eyes.
If things continued like this… She had the uneasy feeling that the moment she could sleep next to him would never come again in her life.
I couldn’t imagine not being able to share a bed with Berg for the rest of my life.
It was a story about there being no one to protect oneself from a nightmare, no one to share warmth on a cold night.
It meant that there was no one to wake up in the morning with a smile and no moments to feel reassured by being around.
But Arwin did not dare to disobey Berg’s words.
If you disobey his words here… You could end up getting divorced.
It has not yet been decided who will remain with Berg, between Ner and himself.
So Arwin had no choice but to obediently follow his words.
She moves her heavy feet as if there were weights.
She didn’t expect that being kicked out of the master bedroom would be this difficult.
Arwin finally left the room after saying those words.
She slowly closed the door in case Berg changed her mind.
But until the moment her door closed… Berg did not give her a glance.
Like that, Arwin closed the door on his own.
And as soon as the door closed, Arwin sat down.
Tears began to flow.
Ner was outside.
As always, out of habit, I waited outside for Berg.
The rain fell and drenched her, but she held on.
If you thought Berg would come someday, this could have happened.
She and Berg were a married couple.
And the human couple…Binds each other out of concern.
Of course, Ner committed a betrayal that was difficult to forgive, but they were still a couple.
Ner was also holding out here in the hope that Berg might come to visit him.
They were always like that.
Ner always went out for her walks at night, and Berg always looked for her.
No matter where you hide. Even if it’s not stockpin. We always spent time together at night.
Listen to the sound of crickets, owls, and the wind.
We built up calm memories while holding each other’s hands tightly.
Every time that happened, Ner felt Berg’s affection and had to hold back his smile.
Of course, she knew it would feel a lot different now.
Still…Berg would appear in this rain and take care of him.
He was that kind of person. He cherished himself so much.
He praised my ugly tail and looked for me anytime and anywhere.
Ner waited endlessly, feeling the rain falling on her head.
But the sound of waiting footsteps could not be heard even as the night deepened.
Pitch darkness came…Ner was still alone.
Ner’s body trembled mercilessly in the cold.
His wet hair and tail fur sank unsightly.
But no amount of cold could compare to the chill coming from my chest.
And I knew very well that it was Ner himself who brought all of this.
Time continued to pass.
The sky poured rain without mercy.
How long have you been sitting in the rain like that?
….Dawn has come.
And when that happened…Ner had no choice but to admit it.
Now Berg doesn’t have any affection for himself.
Everything is over.
As the fact became clearer, Ner could not hold back his tears.
Berg was giving Ner the freedom he so desperately wanted.
The restraint that once felt like a leash was released.
And it hurt so much.
He found it difficult that Berg did not care about his situation.
If things continue like this, he might catch a bad cold, but Berg didn’t seem worried.
He was infinitely kind.
I keep thinking of all the memories I had with him.
Even the moments when he warmly stroked his head.
I also remember memories of hugs and compliments.
He said that it could all be the end.
It was so hard to not be able to be the same as before.
Ner ended up bursting into tears in the rain.
I sobbed, holding his chest and crying loudly.
He must have never cried more sorrowfully since his separation from his grandmother.
But the sound of the rain drowned out all her sobs.
No one heard her voice of regret.
As time passed, the Hongyeomdan began to prepare to head to the capital.
Berg was looking around the stock pin to check on his crew.
For the past few days, I haven’t been able to say a word to him.
Ner followed behind Berg.
I wasn’t able to stick next to him, cross my arms, and wrap my tail around him like I did before…But I still followed behind him.
After the day Ner waited for Berg, he suffered from a terrible cold.
I immediately felt dizzy and had a fever.
It was difficult to breathe, I coughed endlessly and my throat hurt.
But as it hurt more than this pain that Berg was not by her side, she followed him with her heavy body.
Ner felt how much Berg cared for him during that time.
She walked quickly and it was difficult for her to keep up with him.
Every time that happened, Ner followed him at a brisk pace.
I felt like if I fell, he would leave me and disappear.
How long did it follow?
Berg let out a long sigh and turned his head.
His face looked at him.
“…Get away. “I’ll call you when the time comes.”
Berg said coldly.
The tone Berg usually used when dealing with women he had no interest in.
No matter what I did, I couldn’t get used to his cold words.
Ner blinked his eyes and looked down.
Ner felt tears welling up in his eyes again.
Being rejected by the only person who cared for him was more painful than anything Ner had ever experienced.
She whispered, rubbing the area around her eyes with the back of her hand.
“…I’ll just stand in the back.”
“…I can’t do it without you anymore…”
“…Just so I can breathe…Huh?”
Ner could not let go of the happiness he had felt for the first time.
Through him, I learned what it feels like to not be lonely.
Ner wanted to lighten the mood with cuteness, so she forced a smile at him and slowly waggled her tail.
I know it must seem disgusting from his perspective, but…It was the best Ner could do for now.
Berg looked at her and walked towards her without saying a word.
As if mixing words is annoying.
Even as his heart sinks at that reality.
Ner did not dare to think of leaving him.
She also followed Berg again.
Then, Ner stumbles on a rock and falls.
The fact that I felt dizzy due to a cold probably played a role.
Ner groaned as she watched the blood dripping from her knees, then looked in front of her.
Berg looked at her over her shoulder, then took her steps again.
I wonder if there was any interest.
Ner seemed to be able to breathe just a little.
Unbelievably, she wiped away the blood and walked after Berg again.
At that time, someone bumped into Berg.
It was a small girl.
A clear girl who cannot read the mood clings to Berg and shows off her talent.
Ner, who was watching that scene from behind, felt envious.
She was sure that just a few days ago… She was able to get attached to Berg like that.
Berg also gave her girl a small smile, as if to brighten her mood.
Ner selfishly thinks that she would like that smile to be directed at her.
“Sarah. It’s dangerous here. “You can see the horses moving around.”
“No! Berg doesn’t play with me these days. “You’re always busy!”
Berg brushed the girl’s hair without saying a word.
But Sarah continues as if she is not satisfied with that.
“I always focus on my wives! When…Ah!”
Soon, Sarah discovered Ner and pointed at Ner with her finger.
While Ner is surprised, a familiar girl approaches.
Berg also quietly watched Sara and even looked at Ner.
Ner looked Berg in the eyes and then looked down at Sarah.
“Ner, keep your promise quickly…!”
Sarah asked in a whisper, but the little girl’s whispering was poor, and all the sounds reached Berg.
Ner couldn’t remember the promise he made to Sarah.
And in the meantime Sarah cried out.
“You were supposed to give Berg back to me…!”
Ner blinked her eyes.
I couldn’t come up with any answer to the child’s innocent request.
As if shaking her feet, Ner looked up at Berg and shook her head.
Berg looked at Ner in silence.
Doesn’t show any emotions.
Soon he approached Sarah.
He lifts Sarah up and turns his back on Ner.
“Come on, let’s go Sarah.”
And Berg walked away, holding Sarah in his arms.
Sarah smiled at Berg’s actions without difficulty and hugged him.
Ner was frozen in place without any reaction.