189 – Physical contact (1)
Sien blinked as if she couldn’t believe the scene she had stumbled upon, then asked again.
Gradually, displeasure was filling her face.
“…What…are you doing?”
“……………”
Her eyes slowly looked Ner up and down.
Ner was still frozen stiff, unable to respond at all.
Sien continued asking.
“…In someone else’s bedroom…whispering someone else’s husband’s name…”
“…………….”
“….Just what are you….”
Sien saw Ner’s face gradually turning red.
In addition to shame, she had an expression of having lost dignity.
It was only natural.
Having been caught whispering someone else’s husband’s name, biting his clothes, and stroking her thighs.
Without needing to say more, everyone understood how absurd the situation was.
“…”
Sien blinked her eyes, then could no longer endure it.
In a moment of anger and confusion, she could not hold back anymore.
She felt like she had to tell all of this to Berg.
While she drew a line, Berg still treated Ner kindly. She wanted to tell him everything.
It could be seen as an explosive impulse.
-Tap tap!
But the moment she turned her body, Ner instantly moved her own.
She forcefully grabbed Sien’s wrist as she turned.
“Wai-…wait a moment…”
“…Let go of me.”
“Just a moment…please…please…”
Ner was grasping her wrist and pleading.
Her legs gave out and she sat down heavily, only holding onto Sien’s wrist.
She didn’t let go of that wrist, like it was her lifeline.
It seemed she realized the future that awaited her if this fact was revealed to Berg.
The mask she had calmly worn in front of him would shatter.
“Don’t…don’t tell Berg.”
Ner pleaded.
Even as she spoke, Ner couldn’t lift her head.
His former mate was begging.
Whispering to the one who was now Berg’s wife.
“Please…please…”
“………”
Sien couldn’t give any response.
She just watched the pleading woman.
She didn’t know why Berg had divorced her in the first place.
She hadn’t asked.
But she was certain that Berg’s previous wives had deeply hurt him, and she had heard rumors they regretted their actions.
She was now seeing with her own two eyes that Ner truly regretted it.
She felt that Ner still harbored vivid feelings for Berg.
She had thought that maybe Ner wanted to remain by his side as a friend, but…no one would relieve their s*xual desires while imagining a friend.
Ner still wanted to stay by Berg’s side…and now that there was no longer a place for her there, Sien had no intention of giving ground.
“…”
But in this silence, she continued her thoughts.
Even now, almost 2 years after the divorce, it seemed Ner had not forgotten Berg at all.
Rather, it appeared she desired Berg now more than ever.
Helping treat the epidemic in Stocpin was also ultimately because she wanted to be with Berg again.
Seeing her like that, Sien overlapped someone else’s image onto Ner.
More than anyone, Sien understood well the emotions Ner must be feeling.
She also remembered the pain of being rejected by Berg in the past.
“…..Ha.”
With a sigh, Sien relaxed her arm.
As the tension dissipated, Ner looked up at Sien.
“…”
“…”
She suppressed her raging anger for the moment.
If she tried to understand, she could understand.
She couldn’t have imagined someone would do something so lewd, but…she understood the emotions.
Sien herself had also asked Berg to hold her when he had wives.
The moment she had thought Berg and Ner must have had a s*xual relationship was also helpful.
The shock then was less than this.
She had truly believed they were in a relationship back when they were married.
Sien took deep breaths.
And then, she looked down at Ner with compassionate eyes.
She sympathized to some degree with her pain.
Feeling a hardship that makes you wish for death any moment.
She slowly started to open her mouth.
“…I understand how you feel.”
“….What…?”
Ner blinked hard and looked up at Sien.
“…Because I’ve been in a similar situation as you.”
Sien conveyed each word in a cold tone.
“Scared, jealous, frustrated…each day must feel maddening. It must be hard to keep your sanity.”
“…”
“…So I understand. Why you would do something so unconventional…I understand.”
Perhaps this composure also ultimately came from her close bond with Berg.
She knew that even if this happened, Berg’s love for her wouldn’t grow duller.
Their love was only deepening by the day, and she was confident no one could shake it.
She already carried Berg’s child in her womb.
But she had to say what needed to be said.
Sien gently caressed the ring on her left hand.
“…But Berg is married to me now.”
“………”
“And I have no intention of letting him go until death. I’m not stupid enough to repeat the same mistake twice.”
“….I…I see….”
“…So please, let Berg go now. Berg is my husband.”
Ner couldn’t even lift her head.
She must have known Sien’s words were completely true.
At Sien’s words, Ner started whispering.
“………It’s so hard for me…”
“………………”
“Painfully…hard…”
Pity briefly flashed in Sien’s eyes.
She didn’t respond to Ner’s words.
She knew it was difficult. She understood.
But there was nothing she could do.
She just slowly removed Ner’s hand grasping her wrist.
-Thud.
Soon after, Sien turned her body.
She went to retrieve what she had originally come home for.
Some laundry, and a towel to wipe Berg’s sweat when he went out to the fields again.
As Sien gathered her things, she said to Ner, still sitting there,
“…I won’t tell Berg.”
From noble mtl dot com
In the end, she made her decision.
It was a sort of mercy she showed Ner.
In the first place…Berg was already struggling so much with matters of the territory.
More than anyone, Sien knew well that he didn’t like shouldering responsibility originally.
Berg was just a man from the slums who wanted a carefree daily life.
Having lived a life full of tension and pressure, he no longer wanted any burdens.
Sien still hadn’t forgotten Berg’s dream.
And she also knew he was living a life somewhat distant from that original dream.
…Also, Berg was someone who found it hard to readily let go of past relationships.
While that side didn’t show easily since he was so sincere, he didn’t forget anyone who had been with him.
That’s why he had struggled more with the deaths of his comrades, and wandered in anguish when she left. And even now since Chief Adam left, he couldn’t write an epitaph.
Sien knew this from living closely with him.
She recalled what Silfren had told her before.
That the Lone Knight wanted to be with his comrades more than anyone, that he was enduring the ordeal of loss.
Looking at it by that standard, had Berg forgotten Ner and the elf Arwin?
Wasn’t he burying his feelings out of consideration for them?
Thinking about it that way, Ner’s actions were even more unspeakable.
While it was lewd, she could feel the depth of emotions underlying that lewdness.
Keeping these thoughts hidden, Sien explained to Ner the reason for her mercy.
“…You’re treating the epidemic spreading in Stocpin and…”
She uttered words for the grim-faced Ner.
“….Also, you supported Berg when I wasn’t around…so I’ll keep this a secret.”
In the end, Sien silently looked back at Ner.
Standing like that for a long time, she spoke.
“…I pity you.”
It was a sincere feeling.
“…But that pity will never make me give up Berg.”
-Thud.
Soon after, Sien went outside.
There was no way to explain her complicated feelings.
****
Several days passed.
Infected people increased day by day.
Even Sean and Theodore had fallen ill with the disease.
I felt the problem we faced was progressively worsening.
Casualties also started occurring one by two.
The elderly whose health was already poor went first.
And the more such deaths occurred, the more I felt that responsibility as a leader.
The one fortunate point was that Ner was silently working hard.
Thanks to that, the number of people with improving symptoms also increased.
Though a noble, she earnestly provided nursing care, and after dinner she locked herself in her room making herbal medicine.
Seeing her silently working like that, I did honestly feel puzzled for a moment.
It seemed like something had happened.
Perhaps my rejection had been the cause.
If that was the cause, then worrying would have been discourteous.
“…”
Understandably, as infected people increased, farm work was delayed more and more.
As days passed, I realized we wouldn’t be able to finish the work planned within the timeframe.
So it was fortunate at least.
Today was the day aid from Celebrien would arrive.
Everyone was waiting for the upcoming guests in turmoil.
We hadn’t even gotten in formation yet.
In that crowd, as I led my horse, I saw Ner riding a horse with a gloomy expression as always.
“…”
Was it because I had seen her continuously working so hard?
A momentary pity welled up in me at the sight.
Before I knew it, I approached her and whispered.
“…Why.”
Ner swallowed empty air and looked up at me.
If it wasn’t related to me that she was this depressed…I even felt like giving her a little support.
“…”
She couldn’t answer for a long time.
Her lower lip trembled slightly.
Soon after, Ner smiled and spoke.
“…I love you, Berg.”
“…”
Those words completely unrelated to any question, unrelated to the flow of conversation.
Words I could only think of as random.
I couldn’t tell if it was an answer to hide her worries, or if she had nothing else to say.
“…”
In the end, I rode past her.
There was nothing I could do to help.
I had to focus on Arwin, who would soon arrive, for now.
Arwin, who had said she now forgot me.
While her words left me complicated, I still saw it as a chance to completely let her go.
To the extent we hadn’t completely parted, this might be the opportunity.
If we received help and everything was over…I might be able to say a light farewell while she left.
That would also be the right choice.
For my sake as well as Arwin’s.
There was a huge difference between us starting from our lifespans, and that wasn’t a difference that could be narrowed no matter what.
“…Someone’s coming over there.”
Just then, a squad appeared in the distance, and Baran pointed out that fact.
Five more squads following that squad were also visible.
“Is it Crian?”
Baran expressed puzzlement at the small number.
As I furrowed my brows looking at them, I realized it wasn’t Crian coming.
Even after two years, I could tell right away.
…What was approaching from afar was Arwin.
Rather than riding a carriage, in the most free state, she was riding to us faster than anyone.
I took a short breath, then pulled on the reins.
I went forward to greet them.
****
Seeing Berg approaching from afar, Arwin bit her lip.
It was Berg she was meeting after a year and a half, or two years.
Berg she was seeing in the flesh.
She turned her eyes away to calm her churning emotions.
All this time, she had performed the ritual of sacrifice under the World Tree every day, trying to find a way to share her lifespan.
She had been waiting only for this moment.
She had endured while imagining only the moment she could be with Berg.
Of course, she had watched over him for a long time through the bluebird he called Lua, but actually facing him was another matter.
The one fortunate point was that the elders had found a way to share lifespans.
With efforts similar to Arwin’s protests, they had used their deep knowledge from their long lives to find a way for Arwin.
Everything was going somewhat according to plan.
Arwin felt everything was in her hands now.
The future would change depending on what she said.
“…Ha.”
So she let out a breath and collected herself.
She had to put the lie of forgetting Berg into action.
So it wouldn’t feel burdensome…so she could slip in and approach him…
Even if everyone left, she had to become a friend he wanted to keep by his side.
She planned to slowly approach him so he would want to accept a lifespan in the face of the fear of death.
There would surely be pain in that process.
She would have to watch him embrace Sien, watch them raise a child together.
If she had first witnessed those scenes with her own eyes, it might have driven her mad.
But she had already seen those scenes endlessly through the bluebird.
She was somewhat prepared.
So relying on that weapon, she planned to slowly approach him while hiding her intentions.
Seeing Berg slowly riding his horse closer, Arwin also slowed her own horse’s speed.
Each time she confirmed his appearance with her eyes, overwhelming emotions surged up.
Silfren riding to the village with her said at her side.
“…Arwin.”
At Silfren’s words, Arwin replied.
“…I know, Sis. I’m trying to restrain my emotions so don’t say anything.”
Silfren nodded at those words.
And at the same time, she spoke with a worried expression.
“…And that news too…”
“…”
Coming here, Arwin had heard surprising news from Silfren’s magpie.
Due to the aftermath of that news, another storm was sure to blow through Stocpin.
Why did she have to relay such news to Berg right away after seeing him again after so long?
Arwin often felt sorry for Berg.
He was a race that lived such an agonizingly difficult life.
It might have been less pitiful if he had collapsed and given up.
But because he endured all those trials, got back up, fought on pursuing a better life, perhaps he looked all the more brilliant and beautiful.
Soon Berg came within close distance.
She could see his face and the color of his eyes.
Arwin swallowed her breath and calmed her trembling heart.
Then she hardened her expression and approached him.
“….Arwin.”
Berg was the first to speak.
‘…Oh…’
Arwin realized this was the first time in a really long while she had heard him say her name.
After all, the only name coming from his mouth lately was ‘Sien’.
Arwin calmed her emotions with difficulty again, and spoke in a stiff voice.
“…Lord Berg Riker.”
“…”
Berg’s expression froze very slightly.
Maybe regret?
Arwin was swaying like a reed at even the small reaction from Berg.
Arwin continued.
“…I’ve come to offer aid. I heard your territory is facing difficulties.”
After thinking for a moment, Berg reciprocated Arwin’s courtesy as she had.
“….That’s right. Many have fallen ill with the plague-”
“-Please speak comfortably.”
As Berg showed courtesy, Arwin made the offer she found so hard to endure, filled with rejection and grief.
She worried her voice had shaken as it came out.
Arwin added justification for her words.
“…Because the formal speech makes me uncomfortable.”
“…”
At Arwin’s words, Berg let out a long sigh and replied.
“…The epidemic has spread and the village is struggling. Like last year, I don’t know anything about farming. And we’re short on manpower because of the bandits we have to catch. We need help.”
“…”
Arwin nodded, calming her churning heart.
Next she looked at Sien by Berg’s side and spoke.
“…Lady Sien Riker.”
“…Lady Arwin.”
For an instant, Arwin thought about when Sien would die.
Only when her lifespan ran out…would there be room for her to cut in.
Sien, who shared the same surname as Berg.
Sien probably had no idea how jealous she was of that fact.
Sometimes when drunk, Arwin had scribbled a whole page full of her and Berg’s names.
She had endlessly scribbled the nice-sounding name Arwin Riker.
“…”
Arwin shook off that sudden memory.
Silfren also exchanged greetings nearby.
“Lord Berg Riker. It’s been a while.”
“Yes, it’s been a long time.”
Silfren looked to the next person.
“…Gale.”
Gale also smiled and replied.
“Lady Silfren, it’s been a while. And Lady Arwin, long time no see.”
Finally, Silfren looked at Sien and flashed a broad smile.
“…Saintess. Or should I say Lady Sien Riker now?”
Sien also grinned broadly at Silfren’s greeting.
“Lady Silfren. I…I really missed you. Have you been well?”
“I was bothered because they treated us all like heroes. You, Saint…I mean, Lady Sien…”
Sien smiled wryly and answered.
“…Many criticize me for losing my purity.”
“…………..”
While some would have focused on people criticizing Sien who had been a heroine, Arwin focused on the part about Sien losing her purity.그들이 첫 관계를 나눴을때의 악몽이 다시금 떠올랐다.
At the memory, her expression stiffened naturally.
Sien’s moans when she climaxed were still deeply etched in Arwin’s ears.
Her face stiffened without needing to consciously control her expression.
Looking at them, Berg said.
“Let’s go inside. To talk-“
Silfren cut off Berg’s words and spoke with a worried expression.
“Ah…before that, hold on a moment.”
Silfren then looked to Arwin.
“…”
Seeing Silfren’s signal, Arwin nodded.
There was new news they had to relay before properly feeling the emotions of their reunion.
“…Berg.”
Arwin took a moment to feel the sound of that name flowing from her mouth, then swallowed and collected herself.
Berg might be extremely excited about this news.
But it was information he would find out eventually, so she definitely had to tell him.
The sooner she told him, the more time he would have to prepare.
“…?”
Arwin blinked her eyes.
She spoke to him, who still hadn’t sent off Chief Adam.
“……Croond…”
At that name, Berg’s expression stiffened instantly.
Seeing his reaction, Arwin spoke.
“…has appeared.”