5. Bread and dagger (1)
booze, booze, booze.
Whenever I met her, the strong smell of alcohol hit my nose.
It was a woman with gray hair.
Those dark blue eyes were unraveling. His face, which should have been pure white, was wet with a fresh blush.
At first glance, it seemed like he was getting drunk.
Most drunken people tend to look uglier the more they get drunk. But the woman sitting in front of me was different.
Rather, like a flower left alone in the snowfield, it only gave off its sorrowful beauty.
The beauty of the original version was so outstanding.
Of course, the woman did not seem to care about the gaze of others.
It was just endlessly tipping the bottle and filling the glass.
Then empty the glass and refill it again.
Even the subtle stubbornness was felt in the motion repeated over and over again.
As if drinking was her only duty, the woman silently emptied and refilled her glass over and over again.
It was a lonely drink.
It could also be called self-destruction in silence.
As time passed, the woman gave off an increasingly lonely air.
looking at it I thought about it.
It’s hard to see.
Even without that, it was a woman with very little change in expression. That blunt disposition did not change no matter how much alcohol he drank.
Rather, there were more times when women looked lonely when they were drunk.
An empty shell that has lost its purpose in life.
That look reminded me of the past.
Or, as if I had reached the end and looked at the end of the horse, I opened my mouth in tears.
“… … Stop drinking.”
It was then that the woman’s gestures stopped for the first time.
Eyes resembling aquamarine glanced at me.
It was a very cold color, like a pond in midwinter.
Even though my body trembled at those eyes, somehow I wasn’t afraid of her.
This was surprising considering another name for the woman.
Ain (亞人) butcher.
It was a terrible name.
It was hard to think of it as a title given to a slender beauty.
But seeing her mercilessly slaughtering elves at the forefront of the battlefield, anyone would have no choice but to think of that nickname.
Today, dozens or hundreds of lives have perished under those cold eyes.
Blood soaked the snowfield whenever the blue sword light traced its path.
A human being who remembered that scenery could not be confident in front of that gaze.
Nonetheless, my tongue was moving on its own.
“You have to compete again tomorrow… Then you should get some rest.”
The woman said nothing for a long while.
Like a pile of burnt ashes, the woman’s face showed no trace of emotion.
It was only after a while that he let out a muffled voice.
“… … Senpai, have you been so far away before?”
“I don’t know.”
At my plaintive reply, she broke the glass again.
In an instant, the remaining alcohol disappeared into the woman’s mouth. A blue light containing a gloomy image was directed at me.
“When you drink, everything blurs… … .”
It was like a complaint.
Squeaking, pouring another drink, the woman continued.
“Reason and emotion, life and death, and past and future… Everything is clouded, and you don’t even know who I am.”
“So you run into the middle of enemy lines alone every time?”
It was a bruise mixed with a sigh.
Indeed, as if she had been scolding me for the first time in a while, the woman stared at me without saying a word.
“Then die, no matter how strong you are.”
“I’m not dying, I want to die, but… … .”
The woman muttered in a helpless tone, and emptied another glass of alcohol.
With a thump, the glass fell onto the table.
The woman’s eyes were already embracing a profound light.
It meant going back somewhere in the past.
“… … Because there is still work to be done.”
It was a tone so deep that it was unfamiliar.
There was an illusion that a blue ember in the ashes had been revived. All sorts of emotions were raging in the woman’s face as she spit out that one word.
Hatred, bitterness, regret, despair, and self-loathing.
It wasn’t that she couldn’t understand it when she recalled her past.
So I felt even more heartbroken and anxious.
That is why my hand gripped the woman’s wrist.
Displeased eyes turned to me.
Like it or not, I snatched the bottle from the woman’s grasp.
Normally, he was blunt like a statue, but as soon as he took the alcohol, a dramatic reaction immediately returned.
“Now what is this… … !”
But before that cry even vomited.
I immediately opened the bottle and gulped down the drink.
Cold liquid ran down his gullet like fire. It must have been high alcohol, so I felt a burning pain.
Still, I didn’t stop drinking.
After a while, when I said Tak, I put the bottle down.
The incense exploded from his stomach like a firecracker, piercing his nose and brain. The alcohol energy would soon turn into steam and spread throughout the body.
It had been a long time since I drank so much.
I’ve been drinking less since my academy days, but maybe because of that, the taste of alcohol after a long time was unfamiliar. I even felt my stomach churn.
Of course, the regret didn’t last long.
Even just by looking at the woman who was dumbfounded, I could tell that my intention was right.
“Kuh,” I said, wiping my lips.
“… … Then do a masterpiece. Do not drink alone.”
Then the woman swallowed a laugh and asked me.
“senior… Didn’t you say you were going back to the islands tomorrow morning?”
“If you’re worried, drink a little less.”
In the end, the woman seemed to be at a loss for words.
She glanced at me slightly, then let out a helpless sigh.
And I opened a new bottle.
After a few drinks, the woman got drunk.
In fact, if you put your mind to it, you should be able to get rid of drunkenness as much as you like.
He was a strong man who single-handedly subdued dozens of elven soldiers and demons of the Dark Church.
There was no way I couldn’t drive out the drunkenness.
But I’ve never seen her shake off her drunkenness.
The woman wanted to get drunk.
Forever.
“Senpai, why did you ask me to drink before going to the battlefield? On the contrary, on the contrary… I can’t sleep without alcohol. Every night I hear the sounds of weapons… … .”
It was a dry sigh that could not even bite.
I tilted my glass without saying anything.
“I have nothing left. Family, surname, name, family… My, I was stupid… At that time, it didn’t work.”
She patted my chest as if she wanted to cry.
However, no matter how much he knocked on his chest, there was no way his dry tear glands would burst.
The woman said, imitating even a sobbing voice.
“My sister, I miss my sister… Me, I didn’t know What am I, who am I… I hated my sister without knowing that.”
Then she suddenly rolled up her sleeves.
Her slender arm was exposed, and the woman traced it with her finger.
No tools were involved in the process.
Even so, the skin was torn without resistance, and blood dripped down.
I panicked and tried to get up.
If only the woman hadn’t shed tears.
“… … This blood!”
Drops of blood run down the fingertips.
The torn wounds began to stick together in an instant. I couldn’t say anything even after seeing the scene.
I couldn’t even fathom that feeling.
He just chewed his lips and stared at the blue eyes that were seething with intense hatred.
“This blood is hateful… … .”
I thought about how to comfort him.
I hesitated and raised my body. It might not have been something I would do to a junior I didn’t know much about, but that was all that came to mind right now.
Overcome your spirits and move forward.
The moment I stand up as I take a step.
Kwajik, and a huge crack opened up in the world.
Small incontinence spread around the hatch across the field of vision. And not long after, the ground shattered like a glass window hit by a shell.
I couldn’t even scream.
Numerous dreams floated past in the darkness.
A snowy field with a blizzard.
Boiling flesh.
Elves dressed in black.
Incomprehensible scenery pierced my vision and disturbed my brain.
And finally, the burning golden eyes of the man holding my shoulder.
“… … Remember, there are not many memories you can take with you.”
It shimmered in pure white as if it would set my brain on fire.
“I won’t be able to help you for a while, so just remember this one thing.”
I wanted to say something, but I was choking.
There was no language at all.
So I had no choice but to listen.
The man’s warning, which I heard once.
“… … Never dare to fight back.”
At the end of that advice, the ground collapsed again, and I fell into endless darkness.
It was then that I woke up screaming.
While gasping, I calmed down my devastated mind.
It was an overly vivid dream.
Could this also be the effect of that assimilation rate?
Immediately after coming to my senses, I hurriedly looked away.
It was toward the table by the head of the bed.
There, as always, an unfamiliar envelope had arrived.
A whopping two.
I had no choice but to let out a dumbfounded voice.
“… … what’s this.”
But there was no time to hesitate.
I stammered and hurriedly grabbed the envelope.
Both were luxurious materials.
At first glance, I couldn’t tell where it came from.
While pondering what to read first, I soon discovered a strange thing.
One envelope had already been opened.
It was embarrassing.
The love letter from the future was something only I could see. I was the only one who could read it.
Therefore, I was the only one who could open the envelope.
However, the envelope had already been torn, and to make matters worse, when I checked inside, the letter that was supposed to be inside was also missing.
I had no choice but to hold back a dejected laugh.
“under.”
It already felt like it was getting complicated in my head.
But at first, there was not too much information.
I carefully opened the rest of the envelope.
Fortunately, there were several sheets of stationery in it.
My eyes began to scan the line without words.