28 – Freshmen
Shirts that haven’t been wrapped in plastic, pants or belts that haven’t been removed from tags, and thin tees are strewn about in my room.
As if a storm had passed, the room was a mess, and Lee Jin-ah was standing in the middle.
His brown hair covered his face, so I couldn’t tell what expression he was making.
The big eyes were hidden, but I thought it was a relief.
Because. There is a saying that not knowing is medicine.
There is no reality.
It’s like having some kind of terrible nightmare.
Everything that is happening to me still feels like a dream. Attending a play starring Lee Jin-ah at a restaurant, causing a commotion.
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And then I came into the dormitory and went through all this stuff in my closet. The fact that the granddaughter of a chaebol family cares about what kind of clothes she is wearing is a story that cannot be used even as a drama material.
“..Yoo Seon-ah, why didn’t you unwrap your clothes?”
“…That… That’s why… It’s too burdensome…”
“Then tell me, this is too expensive. If you said that… I should have gone to the outlet too. If I had gone there and bought clothes, Yoo Seon would have worn them.
What would it be like if Yoo Seon wore something like this? That looks good too. I was just wandering around the department store thinking about that.”
“…”
“Ah, because Yoo Seon hates me. That… I didn’t go to the outlet and buy clothes.
If it was just clothes you could buy at an outlet, you would throw them right in the trash..?”
“Don’t talk like that”
My fists tightened up.
My head, which had been dazed as if it had been hit by a blow, seems to be returning to normal. The back of the head is tingling.
What about outlets…? Still, it’s pretty in my eyes.
I didn’t like the fact that he was wearing a t-shirt with a full neck or pants with holes in it, and now that outlets were saying something and that.
Yeah, that’s a lot more expensive than I thought, so it’s only right that I didn’t wear it. It’s true that Lee Jin-ah’s behavior is burdensome, so I didn’t wear it.
But more than that, those clothes are really precious things to me.
I think there are things in the world that are more important and precious than money. For example…
The warm words Yujeong gave me. And that kind heart. Those are things money can’t buy.
You should have expensive clothes and limited edition perfume.
I didn’t buy it with my own efforts, but I got it with Lee Jin-ah’s help.
The more I keep it by my side, the more I feel the gap between me and Lee Jin-ah. It didn’t do me any good.
On the contrary, I look more pathetic and shabby.
When I stand in front of Lee Jin-ah, I can endure a strong feeling of inferiority and defeat, which seems to always be crushed, because I have good people like Yoo-jeong and directors by my side, so I can endure it.
Yoo-jung bought the clothes I’m wearing, and Yoo-jeong also bought the clothes that are neatly arranged in my closet.
If you open the closet door every day and think about what to wear, what is Yoojung thinking at the nursery school..?
Because I felt like I would always be praying for her to be well, I was able to stand by her side, Jina Lee.
No matter how much money you have, it’s really hard to have a precious friend who will always think of you.
In Lee Jin-ah’s eyes, it might look like cheap clothes that cost 20,000~30,000 won…
There were small memories in each of those clothes.
Just like a model doing a fashion show, when I change clothes in the storage room, Yoojung should take off her shirt and roll up her jeans. Etc.
It was really fun, I was happy, and those are precious memories that money can’t buy.
…So it made me feel bad when Lee Jin-ah took the clothes in my closet and said that they were cheap or that they were rags.
“I bought everything at the outlet, why…? Did you hang all these things on hangers…?”
It wasn’t enough that I opened my room at will, so I started taking out the clothes in my closet at will.
The shirt Yoojung bought for me, as well as pants and a T-shirt.
Things that had been carefully folded with sincerity began to be disturbed by Lee Jin-ah’s hand.
I couldn’t watch anymore as he touched my things, stroked them, pulled them, crushed them, and threw them on the floor.
“Do it in moderation! …Don’t mess with it..!”
Whatever the future group was, he ran to Lee Jin-ah and grabbed the tee she was holding.
Hiding between her hair, Lee Jin-ah’s pupils widened.
“…Why are you doing this to me…? Why do you treat me like this when you see me…? I can’t even wear the clothes I want to wear?”
“Yoo Seon-ah. Why don’t you wear the clothes I bought you? Why don’t you like me? How cute I am! How pretty I am! When people look at me, they’re all pretty! I’m cute! I like them!
Also- I have a lot of money! I’m good at studying too! There are no sports that I am not good at, and I am good at singing and playing instruments! Why don’t you like me?”
“…That’s…”
I was speechless at Lee Jin-ah’s question, who was struck by evil somewhere.
Because I think it was a very ugly reason.
It’s just that the poor child I had to take care of in the past is now so good that I can’t even compare.
Because the position was reversed and the fact that I needed to be taken care of made it difficult for me.
I fell behind another person, and another person started to overtake me.
A kid who was stuck at the bottom with that too is jumping up and down in the sky. ‘Cause I’m still here
I want to have a lot of money, I want to have a great grandfather, I want to study well, I want to learn a musical instrument, I want to have a sport I like… Why..? Why?? Why…???
I suffered just as well, but I suffered just as much as you. Why am I not treated as well as you? Why? What are my mom and dad doing? Why are you still not coming?
Lee Jin-ah has a good grandfather who comes to her and buys her such expensive clothes and feeds her delicious food all the time. Why can’t my mom and dad poke their noses…?
When I was in middle school, I wore worn-out clothes every day, crawled out of the nursery school every day at dawn… I was passing milk, and I had to grumble and laugh over and over again for only tens of thousands of won…?
I hate that. Really… I didn’t like that, so I avoided Lee Jin-ah at first.
As soon as she saw Lee Jin-ah, who had sent all of her friends away and waited for me at school, she left behind, and I was the one who ran away.
She was eating at a restaurant, and as soon as she saw Lee Jin-ah, who was sitting in front of me, who was eating alone, she threw all the food she was eating into the steamer – and I was the one who went out.
I was the one who put a lot of food in my locker before the second grade went up, and I was the one who ignored Lee Jin-ah and threw away the snacks in her locker.
When you were in the first year of middle school, you tried desperately to always stay by my side, even if your appearance changed… But I was the one who pushed it away.
Because I don’t want to be pitied.
Because I look ugly when Lee Jin-ah is by my side. I desperately tried to get away from Lee Jin-ah because I didn’t have the confidence to carry you around.
Being a sophomore- As time passed, I could see myself feeling comfortable that Ji-na Lee did not talk to me.
I mean she somehow tried to be by my side she tried to stay by her side but not her friends and she sat next to me and I hated that.
I keep trying to push you away, but the more you cling to me without notice…
-Yoo Seon only sleeps every day.
-It feels like I’m wearing the same T-shirt every day…
-The last time I heard about it, it was said that Kang Yu-seon came from an orphanage. She said that last year she even hit a teacher…
-Why is such a problem child still at our school?
I hate being compared and being stared at by people around me!
-Don’t do that to Yoo Seon if you don’t even know him well…
-Wa- I think Jin-ah is so kind… Is she taking care of the class president by any chance…?
-Still, it’s better not to get too close. He’s sleeping now, but he has a lot of violent parts…
I think of you every time I see you taking my side!
Like the kids who talked about you and me in the bathroom before, I thought you would think of me as if you were looking at me like bugs or trash while thinking of me as pitiful.
If you take my side, you can plant a good image in the kids around you.
Maybe you think of me like a toy board… Like a deck of cards..?
Because I can make a good impression if I show others that I treat myself kindly even though I am hated by others…!
So… So…I was in middle school, so Lee Jin-ah.
I didn’t like it.
“…No”
“I don’t like… Huh? Yoo Seon-ah, can you tell me why you hate it? We haven’t talked about it properly since elementary school.
Kang Yoo-seon in middle school.
And Kang Yoo-seon in high school had different reasons, but she hated Lee Jin-ah and had no choice but to push her away.
Now.
She thought that if it were not now, she would not be able to confide in me to Lee Jin-ah.
I could see Lee Jin-ah’s pupils widen and narrow once again.
We looked at each other… And didn’t say anything.
“Yoo Seon-ah. I don’t know. Why Yoo Seon-i hates me. I just want to return the same as Yoo Seon-i did…
Why do you hate me so much? No matter how much I think about it, I don’t think there’s any reason to hate me. I’m glad though
I don’t know why Yoo Seon hates me from now on. I appreciate her being honest with me saying she doesn’t like it. If there is something I don’t like, I can fix it!
Then let’s be friends with me after I fix everything, okay?”
Lee Jin-ah’s eyes shine brightly. Faint smile. It wasn’t a quiet voice, but it was as clear as usual.
The atmosphere was cold and frozen. Incomparable to before.
I made a mistake-I’m sorry-Please save me just once-If I get on my knees and beg her right now, will it be all right…?
By the way… What do I get from doing that…?
Yes. If I do that, Lee Jin-ah will smile and take me around again. She will be by my side again this time as she puts a lot of money into her pocket that is hard to count with her hands.
By the way, is that really a friend? I don’t want to live a life like a mutt, just chasing after what I like while fussing around for a few pennies.
I feel sorry for Lee Jin-ah, who gives away a lot of money just because of a boy like me.
Each person has a path, but I am on my own, and Lee Jin-ah is walking on Lee Jin-ah’s path.
As always, Lee Jin-ah had to know how to get along with people of her level.
She stupidly put me in her pocket and tried to go. Also, I am always tied to Lee Jin-ah, I can’t learn what I want to learn, and I don’t really want to go to places.
You have to keep living while repeating things you don’t want to see?
“Jinah. I told you we can’t be friends. I don’t intend to be friends with you.”