I will not let you go-2
It was a situation that would lead to misunderstandings in many ways if anyone saw it, but the need to remain calm somehow remained unchanged.
Adele’s reason for doing this was simple. I’m getting drunk, so there are a lot of things I’ve always wanted to say to me.
I had been suppressing those emotions, but now that they have burst, I smiled awkwardly as I looked at the slender hand holding me back.
What do I think of Adele? To answer that is really ambiguous.
Now that each other’s feelings have reached the precarious line, a lot will change depending on how you answer.
The trouble didn’t last long.
I had already envisioned this situation coming to some extent in my head, so there was no need to hesitate in answering.
“What do you want me to answer?”
“…I didn’t mean to say that.”
Adele’s eyes dimmed for a moment, then the hair that was tied up came loose and spilled down my face.
There were eyes looking at each other from the inside of the hair.
After looking at each other quietly in the silence that lasted for a while, Adele smiled bitterly and quietly opened the distance.
He seemed to realize that I had no intention of answering right away.
However, as if his intention to listen to the answer today hadn’t changed, he pressed his finger on my lips and continued talking.
“You already know, don’t you? What feelings did you have for me in the past, and what feelings did I have for you?”
“That would not be the case now. Doesn’t Adele think so too?’
The feelings of the past are just the past.
Although I could be affected by it, I couldn’t call it the emotion I had in this life.
Neither I nor Adele preferred dwelling on the past, so I realized that it was more of an excuse.
They feel sorry for me for not contacting them, and they feel sad that they didn’t ask after a while even though they’ve been here for a long time.
What does this woman who is trying to define this relationship again really want?
It won’t be like a confession. I thought maybe it was something simple.
When I looked at the face that was more red than before, the eyes that met mine instantly trembled.
“Do you want me to tell you that I like you?”
“…no.”
“If so, do you want me to whisper that I love you?”
“It’s not like that-”
The one lying down was no longer me.
I pushed Adele’s shoulders up, laid her on the floor, and looked at her from above.
After calming his rough breathing for a moment, he continued talking while crumpling his brow.
“Then I would like you to tell me what you want. What should I say to Adele to satisfy you?”
I wanted to make it a little less emotional.
I didn’t know if I said it while drunk, I might regret it later.
She might have been a little drunk in her own way, but maybe tomorrow it would be hard to see each other’s faces.
hand, I could hold it. Isn’t it so far away that you can’t say that it’s difficult.
Turning around like this meant that she was hesitating.
It meant that instead of saying what you wanted to say to me, you were just wasting your time saying something else.
As I pressed Adele’s hand as it was about to get up, Adele frowned and looked at my closer face.
“…Be cocky. I’m a grand duke, but if anyone sees you, you’ll look like you’re my superior.”
“Do you think you are the grand duke here too? Now, you act like someone who doesn’t know who’s on top.”
“under. Did you lose your fear after becoming a duke?”
Even as he said that, as if he was slightly angry, a small smile was drawn from the corners of his twisted lips.
He didn’t even resist me.
Rather, as if she had been hoping for something like this, Adele’s body, which was about to get up, had almost lost its strength.
He says he’s cocky, but he doesn’t do anything. What does this mean?
I knew that all too well, so I was the one who hesitated.
“I have never lost anything. To begin with, I was never intimidated by what Adele was doing.”
Even if a sword came into his throat, he was not afraid.
Wasn’t that why she wasn’t interested in me?
Perhaps the memory of that time came to mind, Adele looked at me with a puzzled smile.
It’s already been a year since we first met. It was summer then, but now it is spring.
If you ask how much our relationship has changed during that time, I can answer pretty simply.
a lot. It’s moving in a good direction.
Adele, who had been fidgeting with her hands, seemed to want to get up soon.
Perhaps realizing that what she had done was embarrassing, she gently pushed my chest with red ears.
“…Come out now. Because it’s going to happen.”
“Do you know anything? Just how I was feeling.”
“Well, I’m just sorry.”
After saying that, Adele smiled and lightly brushed my cheek.
“A man who puts a woman under him and does nothing. Disappointing.”
I laughed at that playful answer. It seemed like he was betting that nothing would happen if he did that.
But since I had no intention of doing anything more, I just carefully got up from my seat without any refutation.
Adele, who had been staring blankly at me, stood up quietly.
After looking at me for a while, he brought the still-empty bottle to his mouth and let out a sigh.
“okay. It’s a little embarrassing.”
“A little.”
“I’ll do more later anyway, so there’s no need to be ashamed.”
When I laughed awkwardly at those words, Adele, who was giggling at me as if she was having fun, gently closed her eyes.
He put the empty bottle in a corner of the table, opened his eyes again, looked at me, and opened his mouth.
“I thought I could live honestly. If I considered and cared about other things too much, I felt like I would miss the most important thing.”
“What did you see and think?”
“I saw you with the saintess.”
Perhaps this blatant statement is a counter-evidence of the saying that we should live honestly.
I should stop being embarrassed by the words that are spit out without even trying.
I thought I knew a little bit about what she meant when she said that.
It must be that he will stop being quiet for so long.
It means that it is different from the old Adele I remembered.
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Just like what I saw today, a little more assertive…and outspoken. Wouldn’t it mean that I have to face such Adele?
Adele didn’t stop talking.
Perhaps dissatisfied with my quiet listening, the pace of what I continued to say sped up a bit.
“Come to think of it, I was the first one to meet you in this life.”
“If my memory isn’t wrong, the last person I met was probably the princess.”
I nodded, and Adele narrowed her eyes and looked at me.
It was a look that seemed to have a lot to say.
Her lips, which had been swollen several times, began to slowly open again, as if she had completely organized her thoughts.
“But, I always seem to be taking a back seat.”
A moment of loneliness passes through the sky-like blue eyes.
What the north wind meant was solitude.
People did not like winter very much because they said that whenever the north wind blows, people feel lonely.
However, even spring and summer were winter in this northern part, so what about Adele, who lives in eternal winter?
A small smile crept across Adele’s lips.
I felt various emotions in the gaze that looked at me several times.
It had been seen in the past, but it seemed to be thicker in reality.
For example, affection toward me, or loneliness, solitude.
“That’s why I asked. what you think of me.”
My thoughts about Adele were still there. I don’t hate it. There is also affection.
However, I didn’t want to go beyond that.
If I get into a relationship before it’s all over, I’ll go back to square one when I fail.
Even if this is the last life, someone will be sad.
I don’t like that, so I’m standing firm on this precarious line.
Some might call me cowardly, but I had no intention of changing this attitude.
At least, he would act like this until he was convinced that he would kill the crown prince.
Would I want to avoid such an answer? I know that this frustrating situation can be solved with just one word.
If he wanted to, he could steal his heart in one day and go back to his old relationship with Mirazen.
I don’t do it just because I’m afraid. was still hesitating.
Adele tried to understand me, but seemed frustrated inside.
Such was the gap that had become closer before one knew it. Adele’s face was even redder than before.
Then, the sound of light breathing was close enough to reach me.
Hands touch legs, face to face like that.
Adele’s words continued like that.
“You will not continue to answer what I said. Until you achieve your goal.”
“…That’s right.”
“You… have a knack for making people feel stuffy.”
Adele shook her head.
He sighed again and lifted his head to meet my eyes.
He looked angry, maybe just drunk.
But what was certain was that she wasn’t moving like this for a joke.
When the unwavering blue eyes met me straight.
Adele pursed her lips.
“It’s okay to stay still, but you keep moving and trying to go to someone else. He goes to someone else and doesn’t contact me once. Sometimes I feel like I’ll disappear somewhere alone, and sometimes I feel like I’m wandering around alone looking for a place to die.”
“……”
“Nothing to say to me. I didn’t even allow you to do that. I don’t even want it.”
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Just as he was about to say he was sorry, the gap grew closer, and he could not continue talking and just stared at Adele.
The narrowed gap felt like a piece of paper.
Her breath touched her and she felt warmth, and the soft touch of her cheek held with both hands could only be felt.
“I am very jealous. Robert.”
“You said that before.”
“It was me who first met you, who was the first to show interest in you, and who was the first to hold your hand…probably me. in this life.”
Adele looked at me with a slight chuckle, as if it was funny even though she said it herself.
So the gap narrows again.
This time it happened so quickly that my shoulders trembled at the subtle touch of my forehead.
Something bright red landed on his forehead.
It’s too small to be a hand, and I stare blankly at Adele at the warm touch.
She replied with a small smile.
“You decided to have me. So, be careful next time.”
lest I cross the line.
The woman who said that laughed so alluringly that I couldn’t even answer.
Perhaps, for quite some time.