290 – EP.11 Things I tried hard not to face-2
***
Seongah’s face crumpled.
As she looks at that face, she remembers the first time she came to this house.
I can see the tower of trust and friendliness that I built up collapsing.
“I have no idea what you want to say.”
It’s a stiff voice, similar to the words I just said.
“You’re not pretending not to know?”
We face each other without retreating. When I thought about it, I wondered if I had ever had this kind of emotional battle while wandering through dimensions.
“Then why don’t you go to school?”
“That’s it… Because the bad guys keep coming.”
“…That’s not true.”
There were no enemy raids on any other day except today.
“……”
Seongah put down his chopsticks. A dissatisfied gaze is cast at me.
The young gaze of that similar enemy brings back memories of her past, making her pause for a moment.
But, as always, I was the type of person who had to say what I wanted to say in order to be satisfied.
“I told you. If I become your guardian, I’ll say bad things about you.”
If we end the conversation here, it will not be good for Seong-ah.
“…Yes.”
She nodded, probably remembering her memories from back then.
But his expression was still stiff.
“Time doesn’t always wait for you. There are things you must do at your age.”
What my superiors told me, I pass it down in the same way.
“I know you live a different life than other kids your age. But, you have to do what you have to do. You’re an adult now.”
“Adult?”
Her retort cut my words like her sharp sword.
“What is an adult?”
She didn’t hide her bad mood.
“…….”
In response to her question, numerous definitions of adults came to mind and then disappeared.
“Everyone is like that. You are an adult now. You have to take responsibility for yourself.”
Seongah showed her bitter smile. It was a mixture of loneliness and fatigue that was extremely pessimistic.
“After mom and dad died, my aunt told me to study hard in school. It’s a student’s duty.”
“So I worked hard. I can’t say I did well, but I still tried to live like a student.”
The growing emotions made her body tremble.
“But do you know what they say now that you are a senior in high school? They say you are an adult now. From now on, you will be independent on your own.”
“No one told me anything about what I had to do when I became an adult. How to manage a house, how to cook food, how to save money, how to make and break relationships!”
She raises her voice.
It was a cry full of injustice.
“Whenever you leave me alone to just study and live like a student. Have you decided on your career path? What is this house? You are an adult now. Just say things like this!”
Her clenched fist hit the table.
“Before I lived with you, I didn’t know how to maintain a yard. I didn’t even know how to repair a house. Food? You made more food than I made in 5 years, and it was delicious.”
Tears form slightly at the corners of her eyes.
It wasn’t sadness. It was an injustice.
She hit her table two more times. The table shook and the dishes shook.
“Meanwhile, those damned bastards keep coming. I want to ignore them too. I don’t want to fight with them while my body is hurting. But, if I turn away, other people die. I bleed, suffer, and lose precious people. “So I have no choice but to step forward.”
“Because there is no one to remember me, I survive each day with the mental victory of protecting the dreams and hopes of others….”
My tears came down.
“Seong-ya.”
As I watched her explode with emotion before my eyes, I cautiously called out her name.
“Mister. It’s really too much.”
Her anger was directed at me.
“I told you, uncle. The only person who remembers that I’m a magical girl is you. But why don’t you understand me? A guardian doesn’t just scold me. He cares for me, understands me, and comforts me. “That is also the role of a guardian.”
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My mouth was closed.
“But why are you talking about me as if I’m a bad person or a bad child who doesn’t do what I should do? You know. You’re watching what kind of life I’m living from the side.”
“…But, I’m worried about you.”
It may be right to comfort her as she said.
However, if she passes it off like this, she will just repeat the same life again.
A life that cannot move forward and continues to spin in a familiar life.
Even that treadmill would sink into the swamp as time passed.
So, I think this conflict is necessary.
I tried to persuade her by soothing her with my softer voice than before.
“Worry? Did you say you were worried?”
She snorted her laughter.
“If you were really worried about me, you should have asked a question instead of questioning me. Are you saying you’re worried if you already decided that I’m a bad kid and asked a question?”
She smiled crookedly.
“That’s why I asked you in the first place. You were the one who lied.”
I corrected the facts.
Seong-ah also said it, and her eyes widened slightly, as if she had missed it.
And soon, I narrowed my eyes.
“That’s right. I guess you’re right. I’m a bad kid.”
It was a statement that gave me a sense of déjà vu.
Perhaps that was why suddenly, displeasure rose from deep within her heart.
“Don’t talk like that. If you really didn’t want to go to school, you should have at least told me. Seong, you were the one who said you would go to school and skipped it. And you were the one who tried to lie to me until the end.”
Suppresses frustration and conveys only the facts.
“…It’s annoying.”
Very sincere emotions were conveyed.
With Seong-ah and I in front of her food, she remained silent for a moment.
I desperately bit my lower lip to silence the old memories that were suddenly dragged out.
However, despite my efforts, Seong-ah seemed unable to tolerate ‘losing’ like this.
“If I just say I’m sorry, what’s the point? Do I have to win to feel relieved?”
It was something I often heard somewhere.
The anger that she had been trying to keep dormant began to creep up her chest and down her throat.
Did he realize that the attack was effective?
Seongah continued to attack in that direction. Maybe she knows instinctively.
Still, she thought she could bear it. This wasn’t the first time she had seen someone lose their temper and express their sad feelings.
She was in a bad mood, and there would be disappointment in her heart, but she was confident that she would not let go of the opposite s*x.
“Surely you treated your ex-girlfriend this way too?”
If only I hadn’t heard these words, which were full of sarcasm.