291 – EP.11 Things I tried hard not to face-3
***
Something hot went down the back of my neck and towards the top of my head.
I think I understand why the expression “Grabbing by the neck” Came about.
Rough, unpolished language lingered in my mouth at random.
Like a racehorse waiting for the gate to open,
Like a bull that sees a cloth waved by a matador,
I wanted to pour out all my emotions to this tiny little girl.
“You’ve heard a lot of people say you can’t empathize, right?”
Kim Seong-ah pushed me without stopping.
“Stop it.”
“I guess it was the right answer.”
“Stop it.”
“If you keep interrupting me like that, no one will like it….”
“Stop it!!!!”
The sound of shouting with all the emotions took over the house.
The reverberation of the sound hitting the wall of the house buzzed and rang through the house.
Seongah looked at me with her mouth slightly open, like a surprised rabbit.
Actually, she was looking at me from earlier.
But I guess it was only now that I caught his eye.
Heavy breathing, flushed face.
“Mister?”
“What do you know? You think you know everything about me just because we’ve been together for a little while? Do you know the life I’ve lived?”
“Over there….”
“f*cking hell! I went through all this trouble thinking I could enjoy fame and fortune, but I got swept up in this and that!”
“……”
“Did I say something strange? You asked me to act as your protector first. But you did. Is it okay if I sympathize with you, or is it okay if I understand you? Am I a buffet of your emotions? Huh? Tell me!”
“That….”
“The more I talk, the angrier I get? I’ve come this far. Still, I’m trying my best to do well. Huh? Are you ignoring me? Or is this also the law of the world?”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s too much!”
The house rings again.
“Why am I the only one who suffers, understands, yields, acknowledges, and sacrifices?”
“There is another b*tch who made the mistake first, so why should she suffer the damage? Pointing out something that was wrong, is that a crime that deserves to be punished and killed? Huh? What do you think?”
“Mr., First, sit down.”
Since when did I wake up?
“I’m tired, I’m tired, I wish it would be over when I die! Do you know that damn feeling when a different world opens up before my eyes every time?”
“As soon as I wake up, I have to figure out where I am, what kind of person I am, and be careful in case I touch a switch. Do you know how I feel?”
A typhoon of words shook the house, and for a moment, I was blinded by the anger that rose to the top of my head.
My vision became dark.
Ah… It’s dangerous.
I feel like my blood is drying up and my body is shaking.
“Mister!”
Before I knew it, Seong-ah came next to me and grabbed my arm. She shakes it off.
Visibility returns. There are two images, but it is still visible.
I walk towards the entrance with great strides.
Crumple up your shoes, put them on, and open the door.
“Where are you going?”
Seong-ah, who was watching me in the kitchen, runs to me in surprise.
“Just looking at the cancer, I don’t think I can satisfy you. If you want to have a guardian who will do as you like, you can make one with that good magic.”
“Ah, uncle!”
“I don’t know if I live my whole life as a high school student or die. Now that I think about it, I guess so. Is it my business?”
I left the house just like that.
You appear on a street dimly lit by streetlights. A silence, different from the noise inside the house, spread like fog outside the house.
It was a night when even the moon was covered by clouds.
I haven’t decided where to go, but I’ll just take a step.
I don’t know if she was too scared to move, or because she had no regrets, but she didn’t chase me.
I’m rather fortunate. If it follows you persistently, it’s a hassle to remove it.
“Ah.”
Take a few steps, then stop.
Something came to mind.
I take out my cell phone from my pocket. Turn around and throw it.
A cell phone with a parabolic curve falls into her house.
Even the little device that connected her and me is thrown away.
There are things I tried not to recognize while moving through dimensions.
[Unreasonable]
If I start complaining about the irrationality, my heart will break.
However, as I pour out all my emotions, I feel like ignoring it may not be the only answer.
“Aww, I feel refreshed inside.”
Going through several levels, I felt like I had cleared something that was frustrating and blocked.
***
After a commotion, Kim Seong-ah stood silently in the cluttered house.
“……”
She thought she had found his weakness.
She thought that if she took a good bite of it, she could get an apology.
Then, she thought, she would understand herself more.
However, the result was different from what she thought.
“With nowhere to go.”
Still, she had a firm belief that he would come back.
Isn’t he the one who has no one to rely on?
We’re both excited, so once we cool down a bit, we’ll open the door and come in again.
Yes, that will happen.
Thinking on her own, she returned to her table with a blank face.
Despite the commotion, the food on the table was safe.
She sat down on her chair with a dumbfounded look on her face and picked up her chopsticks again.
Put a piece of spam into your mouth along with the rice.
The salty taste spreads in my mouth.
“It doesn’t taste… Good.”
Is it because it cooled down in the meantime?
She couldn’t understand at all.