77 – Their Fate (2)
…
Rustling.
A piece of tissue paper came out at the tip of my finger. The musty stench of reality caught my sense of smell, which awoke before my sense of sight. A small alcove where dust and trash crumble together in the dark and pile up like a blanket. An air that was quite different from when she was at the academy weighed on her shoulders.
“…”
I rubbed my head on the desk and slowly raised my head. Jet black hair, not brown, was scattered in front of my blankly opened eyes. Even when you wake up, your hair doesn’t flow beautifully and becomes scattered and crumbly. That wasn’t Yuna’s hair.
Kim Yuna’s hair.
“…”
Until then, I couldn’t accept reality and looked around blankly. The white wallpaper is turning gray as dust sticks to it. Deep darkness even in the middle of the day. The only thing shining between them is a pure white monitor. And, my desk full of trash.
My wrist was placed on top of it with five lines drawn on it. Four horizontal lines and one vertical line newly drawn above them.
Only then did I realize one thing.
B. You’re back.
…
“Ah…”
In the realization that came too late, I opened my mouth in a daze. I could still feel the coolness of my forehead where the goddess’s hand had touched it.
But the time was not that long. I closed my open mouth tightly again. I could feel the thick taste of dust from my cracked lips.
I thought that when I returned to reality, it would definitely be more vain than this. But surprisingly, I didn’t think anything of it. Is it because I had mentally prepared for it a long time ago? No, maybe it just doesn’t feel real yet.
From Noble mtl dot com
Honestly, the world was still beautiful before my eyes. It seemed like if I turned my head even now, he would be there. It felt like if I shouted and called, they would come running. She couldn’t believe that with one gesture from the goddess, everything had disappeared.
But what surrounded me now were the parts of my miserable life that I had missed so much.
My room was just like the day I was possessed by Yuna. A gloomy landscape with only the monitor with the screen saver on between the tightly closed door and the obsessively barred window. I stared blankly at the square screen and slowly got up.
“Ugh…”
My body was much weaker than Yuna’s, so I felt stiff just by moving a little. That was natural. Unlike Yuna, I am a hikikomori who rarely leaves my room, let alone exercise. Slowly, that fact began to sink into my heart.
As soon as I got up, I habitually fumbled for my cell phone. When I looked at the date, I saw that it had stopped right at the time when I was possessing her. Everything else was the same as before. App notifications too. Not even a single text message arrived. The latest posts from communities I frequently visit. Entire.
…
Tuk.
I was so naturally grasping the evidence of daily life that at some point I dropped my cell phone. Only ten minutes had passed, but I was scolding and hating myself for getting used to reality.
And it was scary. I’m afraid that the memories I spent in this world will disappear like a fleeting dream.
It suddenly started to feel very scary.
“No…”
Anxiety crawled throughout my body. I am afraid that all my memories from the past will be crushed under the name of memories. No, I’m afraid it will just disappear, leaving behind an indelible lingering feeling like a dream I had last night. I started to get crazy anxious that my stupid brain would bury it all in oblivion.
At that moment, I rushed in front of the turned off monitor and picked up the mouse that had been thrown away. And he shook it earnestly, as if it were a rescue signal.
Soon, a whitish light appeared and the screen that had been turned off turned on. Of course, the title of the novel, For Elise, was displayed in the middle of the screen. I clicked the mouse with my heart pounding.
“Huh…?”
But the next moment, what came out was a vain sigh. The novel book I desperately grabbed was filled with empty blank pages. As if it had never been serialized, no matter how hard I rubbed my eyes, not a single article had been uploaded to the novel homepage.
Suddenly, a faint pain spread from the vertical lines carved on my wrist. But I didn’t care about that and kept pressing refresh. Something must have gone wrong. I shouted to myself that this must be a computer problem. I even began to wonder if there was something wrong with my eyes or brain.
Just when I was about to hit myself over the head with such ridiculous beliefs, a letter finally appeared in the middle of the screen.
Episode 1. Such simple yet heavy writing.
“Ha…Ah…”
It was only temporary, but I sighed deeply as if I had been saved by God. But after clicking episode 1, I couldn’t help but tilt my head. The re-uploaded episode 1 was completely different from what was previously uploaded. First of all, the thing that changed the most was the writing style. Unlike before, which was neat and blunt, the new writing style felt frivolous and even a little childish.
But strangely, it didn’t feel unfamiliar at all. Rather, I felt as if someone familiar to me was telling his own story. I frowned, trying to figure out the identity of this deja vu.
It didn’t take that long. The narrator of this story is frivolous yet bright as sunlight, and you can feel his consideration just by looking at him. He was monologuing like this while looking at the brown-haired girl sitting next to him.
These days. The villainess’s condition is strange.
…
That was Ellen.
The moment I realized that fact, a smile filled my mouth without even realizing it.
“Ah…hahahaha…”
I looked at the glowing monitor and smiled like an idiot. I felt like I could hear a voice just by looking at the print.
Of course, that was just an illusion. No matter how much I looked, I could never hear Ellen’s sweet voice. Nevertheless, I scrolled down like I was fascinated. As I read the first meeting between him and me without even having time to breathe, the next episode had already been uploaded.
Of course, I immediately clicked on the next episode. And I was endlessly immersed in the new story I had changed.
The daily lives that Ellen and I had spent so far flowed out from the tightly written letters. Even though I already knew everything, I felt the same emotions every time. He gets angry in scenes where I act stupidly. When Ellen was playing with her hands, her face turned red without me realizing it. I even felt a faint pain in the area where the Duchess appeared, where she was hit. And that very day. When Ellen came up to me and confessed her feelings to me, she couldn’t take it anymore and put her head on her desk.
The more I looked back, the more each moment seemed new. Maybe it’s because I look at my story from the reader’s perspective. I was much dumber than I thought, and Ellen, who always seemed easy-going, showed her immaturity at some point. Nevertheless, Yuna was becoming happier.
Looking back on the life I spent was more enjoyable than I thought.
…
No.
Peering into Yuna’s changed life was a much happier experience than I expected.
In an instant, the smile at the corner of my mouth faded a little. A strange pain came to a corner of my heart. I quickly scrolled down to erase the pain.
But that didn’t help at all. As the story drew to a close, the pain became increasingly severe. Then, at the part where Illya screams at the guards of the mansion, I involuntarily gasped.
I felt like something was clogged in my chest. Still, I forced a smile. Because that’s true. Because no reader should suffer while waiting for a happy ending. And what I wanted in the first place was to see Yuna happy.
“Ah…hahahaha…Ha…”
I made a laughing sound on purpose. No matter how I thought about it, it was strange to feel sad even though I achieved everything I wanted. Rather, I had to feel a sense of accomplishment in the fact that I had rescued a story that was in despair with my own hands. So I clicked on the next episode again.
The title of the next episode we encountered like that said this.
Last episode. Called.
“…”
I quietly took a breath. And with a happy heart, I faced Yuna’s happy ending that I had not been able to see.
In the original work, she was constantly harassed by the duke family, but eventually escaped from their clutches. And we arrived at a quiet rural village called Ethanrich, which Guero had introduced us to. This time, I was alone with Ellen, without any other company.
A village full of peace, with no enemies, rivals, or any external pressure. In that warm world, Ellen and Yuna finally had a happy ending. A sunset bathed in gentle light as if to bless the two people. They tilted their heads towards each other.
That’s how Yuna’s story ended.
There was no next episode.
That was the end.
“hahahaha…Ha…”
Before I knew it, I was only smiling with my mouth. Even when I heard it myself, not a single sincerity was conveyed. Even though Yuna’s happy ending was something I desperately wanted until a few months ago, I didn’t feel happy at all.
Rather…
…
“No…”
I felt disgusted with myself at that moment. Even though I didn’t finish the sentence, I felt disgusted with myself because I knew very well what I was feeling. I felt nauseous. I felt like I was going to vomit from my selfishness. Without realizing it, my breathing became rough and my eyes turned bright red.
“No!”
I screamed to myself and shook my head violently. No. I’m definitely happy. I’m glad Yuna is happy. That’s fine. I really mean it. I’m so happy that I want to send some congratulatory money to Yuna and Ellen. I really mean it.
The moment I thought of that, I roughly picked up my phone. Okay. Support. If you donate to this novel now, it might be delivered to Ellen. I smiled like a crazy b*tch to myself and opened the banking app.
But I can’t remember my password. Or my hands were shaking so much that I couldn’t top up the donation. No, I didn’t even know how much balance was left in the first place. Only in moments like these did my body reveal its maladaptation to reality.
In the end, I threw my phone on the floor and headed to the novel’s comment window. This is the comment window that I have never used even though I have been continuously sending donations. I wrote a heartfelt sentence in that white square window and immediately pressed enter. And then he pushed up the corners of his mouth again.
“hahahaha…Aha…”
I definitely wanted Yuna to be happy. So there was no reason to be sad. I placed my hand over the sentences of the novel displayed on the monitor.
Ellen’s name was sparkling black there. I touched Ellen’s name with my hand, even though I knew I couldn’t reach it. Even though all I could touch was the smooth surface of the monitor, I endlessly swept across it, longing for just a ray of warmth.
But the next moment, the screen saver turned on and the entire monitor turned pitch black.
“Ah…”
I sighed without realizing it. Ellen’s name was no longer there.
Only the blackened monitor showed only my face with no trace of happiness.
“Ah…Ah…”
I collapsed and hit my head on the desk again. A cold pain spread from my forehead and flowed down to the corners of my eyes. I couldn’t deny it anymore.
Actually, I never once wanted Yuna to be happy.
…
In the end, from the beginning, I just wanted myself to be happy.
When I realized that fact, lukewarm tears began to wet my cheeks.
“…Ugh.”
At that moment, I felt pain in my wrist again. When I barely opened my wet eyes, I saw that one of my arms was drenched in blood from the vertical knife wound.
Now that I think about it, I woke up right before I was possessed by the novel. So, it was like waking up right after I cut my wrist with a knife. Maybe the goddess was considerate or I was stupid enough not to notice that I was bleeding.
“Ah…Ah…”
Maybe it would have been better to leave it alone. But I didn’t want to die like this. At the very least, I wanted to put Ellen’s name in my eyes once again. So, I fell down from the chair and desperately crawled towards the door. And I knocked on the door with all my might.
“Hey…Is there anyone…? Hey…!”
Even though it was clearly my home, I screamed like a stranger asking for help. Actually, it was a stranger. A missing person who wandered in another world for a long time and finally returned to his original place.
A fool who wanted his own happiness, but foolishly sacrificed his whole body for others. That was me.
“…!!!”
Soon, the door opened and someone ran towards me. Probably Ari. But instead of calling her, I turned her head towards her desk.
Even in my fading consciousness, I looked at the dimly lit monitor. And before I completely lost my mind, I called his name that I will never hear again.
“…”
“Ellen!!!”
When the whole story was over, I kicked out the door without realizing it. The sound of Yuna calling my name followed belatedly.
“Ellen! Wait, please!”
It was just an earnest voice without any sense of malice. But I didn’t stop. The grassland was dyed red by the setting sun, as if pitch-black darkness would descend at any moment. I headed to the middle of it.
“Ha…Ha…”
I was out of breath. Hot sweat was dripping from my forehead. Still, I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t accept the fact that she was no longer in this world. So I screamed her name, even though I knew it was no use.
“Yu…!”
But at that moment I realized that I couldn’t even pronounce her name properly.
At that moment, my legs gave way and I knelt on the dirt floor.
“Ha…Ah…”
Beads of sweat dripped from his bowed head. I gritted my teeth in the rising heat. In an instant, fatigue came over me and my vision turned white.
As I closed my eyes helplessly, a familiar darkness that I had long forgotten filled me. I grabbed the tangled pile of dirt on the floor with both hands and tried to open my eyes again.
It was at that moment that a familiar voice rang in my head.
[Message has arrived.]
“…!!!”
I took a deep breath as I heard a voice that I hadn’t heard in a very long time. Could this be her voice? She had a small hope, but once again, all she heard was the crackling sound of a machine. And as cold as that voice was, cruelly callous words filled my head.
[Yoona posted the last mission.]
Not Yuna. A message sent to me by Yoona. I even had the illusion of hearing her voice amidst a list full of vulgar acts. But listening to her last mission she posted, I couldn’t help but break down.
Ellen.
…
[6. Yuna. Love me.]