80 – Because I love the woman inside you (3)
“Fire?”
Guero tilted his head at my words. But I answered calmly.
“Yes. To be exact, we need something to make a fire, like coal. And a small room.”
“It’s a small room with a fire to burn. It’s simple. But you can prepare for that, right?”
“That’s right.”
“Then why do you need me?”
“Because there may come a time when you need it.”
“Hmm…”
A subtle look was conveyed. Guero looked at me as if measuring me and then twitched her lips.
“Is it dangerous?”
“It’s not dangerous for you.”
“Aha…”
He didn’t look relieved. She just gave me a fed up look and then shrugged her shoulders.
“Yes. Even if you die, it would be better to die in my hands.”
“It’s a friendship that brings tears to my eyes.”
“I don’t know what we’re going to do, but let’s do it. By the way, as always, the money is paid in advance, right?”
“You know.”
“Okay…”
Once the cliched jokes were over, what followed was an unavoidable silence. Guero repeatedly put her hand in and out of her pocket without meaning to her, and then she asked in a voice without a trace of laughter.
“Are you going to start right now?”
“Yes.”
“I’m asking just in case, but there’s no room for second thoughts, right?”
“You know.”
“I just asked just in case.”
I could still sense a hint of regret in his tone of voice. But the Guero I knew was not the kind of guy who clings to overburdened worries for a long time. True to his belief, the guy stretched his legs and flipped his hair.
“Then let’s get it over with quickly before we get more attached. I have to go and get my nails done later.”
“hahahaha…”
I laughed heartily for the first time in a long time. Only now did I feel like I was gaining a little more confidence in what I was trying to do. I took a deep breath and nodded.
“Okay. Let’s begin.”
The preparation time did not take very long. Renting a room in a remote inn in the city was enough, and Guero, who had gone to the market to buy coal, soon returned with both hands full of pitch-black rocks. As soon as he slammed the pile of coal onto the floor, I felt something heavy settle in my chest.
Maybe I was nervous without even realizing it? I stopped in the middle of the room and caught my breath. The subdued atmosphere of the room rose like dust and stirred quietly in my chest. Are the nightmares of the past about to resurface? Even though I knew it, I had no choice but to close my eyes due to the sudden fatigue.
What came to mind in my darkened vision were not her nightmarish past, but the moments I had with her.
Professor Edman’s class time, where he secretly played with his hands while holding his breath in the classroom.
A lazy lunch time at the library, laughing and eating a sandwich.
One late afternoon, we ran together in the rain because we didn’t have an umbrella.
That unforgettable night when I walked barefoot on the academy grass under the bright moon.
They were such trivial moments compared to my terrible memories, but it was those insignificant memories that were eating away at my heart.
That is how much she became such a big person to me.
To the extent that her disappearance left a hole in her heart bigger than her gunshot wound.
“Ellen.”
Then I suddenly heard Yuna’s voice and opened my eyes. When I saw her hesitantly approaching me, my longing for her became even stronger. Yuna looked at my expression and calmly nodded her head.
“Are you really going?”
“Yes.”
“You know the method, right?”
“I think I know.”
“That’s not a cool answer.”
“You know that I have never acted with confidence.”
“…I know very well.”
Yuna smiled bitterly. And she asked, frowning a little.
“If you go to that world, have you thought about how to find her?”
“No. But if we meet, I think we’ll recognize him at a glance.”
“Ellen…”
Numerous words lingered within those tiny lips. It seemed like she knew what she wanted to say without even having to listen. But instead of wasting her time with such words, Yuna started talking about something else.
“She always kept a diary. I don’t know if it was her habit, or if she was just trying to show me, but she always mentioned a novel called Für Elise.”
“For Elise…”
“Yes. And she also said that the things her mother forced her to do when she was young ruined her life. What she did back then had a huge impact on her future.”
“I think I heard it. He told me that too.”
It was probably after the Duchess incident when she stayed up all night at Yuna’s dormitory. When asked what she originally did in the world, she replied that before she became a student she had done other things. Judging by what she ended up hiding, it must have been anything but ordinary for her.
I don’t know what it is, but she just hopes that there aren’t many Kim Yuna in that world who have had that experience in the past.
“So? Was there anything else to say?”
“Other than that, I don’t remember much. She wasn’t the type to open up about herself, even in her diary. Instead, she kept worrying about me. How she could make me happy. I wondered if what she was doing was right. . I thought about it constantly. And…And…”
“…Is it Yuna?”
“…”
Yuna could not continue her words any further. But her dangerous eyes suddenly filled with confidence, and she soon let out a clear voice.
“Ellen.”
“Yes.”
“If I really meet that girl in that world…”
“…Yes”
“Tell them that I love them and that I really, truly appreciate them.”
“Are you okay with that?”
“Yes. Because she would rather hear your story than mine.”
Yuna nodded her head vigorously with a smile on her face. She then suddenly pushed me on the back.
“Then go now. Before you think of anything else.”
“…Yuna. In the meantime…”
“Don’t do it.”
“Huh?”
“Don’t say anything unless you can say it with a smile.”
I kept my mouth shut because it was something I couldn’t say while laughing. Yuna looked at my face for a moment. Her villainous daughter, who had been left alone in a cruel world to live a happy life, suddenly reached out her hand towards her. Fingers spread out like flower petals moved in this direction as if to grab the hem of my clothes.
But her hand could not hold me and was withdrawn, leaving behind only a faint fragrance. Yuna disappeared beyond her door without even looking back. I looked at her back and saw her sigh softly.
“Ha…”
“Are you done?”
“Uh, okay.”
At that time, Guero approached from beyond my field of vision. And she held out her hand towards me. But the moment I was feeling needlessly sentimental and tried to reach out my hand, he slapped my hand away.
“No. Give me everything you have, you fool. It won’t be of any use in the other world anyway.”
“Bog.”
I shook out everything I had in my pocket and held up one finger at the end. Guero chuckled at that and yawned loudly.
“What…So. Are you ready?”
“Yes. I hope everything goes well now. Guero. No matter what happens inside here, please wait outside the door for at least 10 minutes. And…”
From Noble mtl dot com
“…”
“If nothing happens after 10 minutes, come in and save me, okay?”
“What does that mean?”
“I believe you can figure it out.”
“It’s a disaster. It’s like this all the time.”
Guero grumbled as usual and headed towards the door. I swallowed my nervousness in the middle of the room and finally opened my mouth.
“And Guero. Please take care of Miss Yuna.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be watching.”
“Thank you.”
“Okay, come find her well, dude.”
In the end, that indifferent prisoner scolded me until the end and left without any hesitation, closing the door behind me. I didn’t feel any regret from the sound of those big footsteps.
It was fortunate. If he had shown weakness, my heart might have been shaken as well. I actually felt the depth of friendship in that indifferent attitude.
So I was left alone in the old room again.
“…”
As I was staring blankly at the ceiling, I walked towards the door and closed all the slightly open windows. So that not a single ray of wind comes in or escapes. After carefully checking the gap, I returned and sat down on the floor. In front of me were two pitch-black rocks and a bucket of water that I had left out just in case. It was the preparation needed to meet her.
She watched my pitiful death and gave me a second life.
She hoped that the daughter of her vicious dukedom would be happy and gave her a second chance.
And in the end. She who took her from her Yuna and her me.
There was only one way to meet her, who came with the role of her parent on top of her name as a goddess. Relive the memories of the day we first met.
She wouldn’t just sit back and watch that situation happen again.
And if she really wanted Yuna to be happy, she wouldn’t let this stupid extra who came at the end and tried to kill her.
“…”
So, I started a fire using the paper I had prepared. A candle to the goddess and a flame that once set my life on fire. The flame-like fire ignited by the pitiful beggar who was saved by being wrapped in the width of the women’s skirts heated the pitch-black coals to red.
And then, gray smoke began to rise.
“…Cough.”
Once the smoke rose, it rose without hesitation and soon filled the room. Are two too many? I thought that if things continued like this, I would pass out in 1 minute instead of 10.
“Cough…Ugh…Haa…”
I was out of breath. It felt like my lungs were filling up with sand. The air that had filled the room disappeared in an instant, and an unpleasant pressure pressed down on my entire body.
“Cough…Cough…Ugh…”
I ended up picking up a bucket of water that I had previously scooped up to put one of the coals to sleep. But I couldn’t get my hands on it. My consciousness was already fading and my shoulders were drooping against my will.
“Cough…Huu…”
I guess it’s impossible. I immediately let go of the bowl and leaned against the wall. And then, I slowly closed my eyes. As the familiar darkness washed over me, I felt like I could breathe a little easier.
It was the same as back then. The day I ended my last life. The gray smoke that grabbed my neck instead of the gallows rope. The weight of carbon monoxide rising from the briquettes was once again constricting me.
The difference is that this time there is someone out there to help me.
No matter how well you seal the door, smoke will eventually start to leak out of the door. If she didn’t come on time, she knew that Guero might not be able to endure the 10-minute appointment and would come running. Or maybe a surprised Yuna runs in.
Either way, wait for her. Or maybe she is. Either that or she would come looking for me.
…
In the end, my life has been faltering for decades, surrounded by them.
From an extremely cynical perspective, it was truly a life like that of a prostitute.
Jabag.
“…”
At that time, I heard footsteps in front of me. It seemed like someone had come to visit. She. She. Or maybe she.
Jabag. Let’s go. Let’s go.
But it was not the familiar sound of footsteps. It was not the sound of a huge weight pressing down or the sound of light footsteps, but a sound like bare feet clicking on a tree. It was a sound I heard a long time ago, at the edge of a vague memory.
I smiled the moment the person’s hand rested lightly on my shoulder. Then, he lightly pushed back her closed vision and offered her greeting to her.
“It’s been a while, mom.”
“It’s been a while.”
The goddess seemed to like my old joke and smiled at me in the dark. Benevolent death scattered gentle warmth into the pitch-black darkness.
In that way, the goddess welcomed the prodigal son back with a gentle smile. Then, he gently touched my cold cheeks and opened his mouth.
“My villain was beautifully rehabilitated.”