[Side Story] Lizzy Paul Liana Luerg—Love and Hate (Love and Hate)
Shoo.
It’s been two years since I came up north and lived in Ruerg.
Lizzy had a dull expression as she watched the rain pouring down on the window.
Knock knock.
At that time, a small knocking sound was heard.
As I turn my head back, the doctor carefully opens the door and enters, bowing before me.
“It’s time for the examination. Ma’am.”
“Do whatever you want.”
“Yes…… “
Laura.
Uriel.
Euphemia.
The cold and gloomy atmosphere that clearly contrasts with that of the other wives by Fersen’s side.
Wondering if that could be the expression of a woman carrying her husband’s child, the doctor carefully approached and examined Lizzie’s body.
He then asks detailed questions to see if there are any abnormalities and leaves the room.
Immediately after, in the room where she was alone again, Lizzy turned her head to her window.
After spending a long time touching each other, his child was born naturally.
It was clearly her own choice not to avoid her childbearing years, but with her belly swelling day by day, Lizzy couldn’t feel the slightest bit of joy.
It was Fersen’s child that was growing in her own womb ── because her clear awareness did not allow her to have maternal love.
No, to be precise, it was an additional reason.
It would be correct to say that the essence is being rejected by oneself.
Whether she likes it or not, the child is growing inside her own belly.
She was already close to giving birth during that period, so no matter how hard she tried, any human being would have no choice but to develop feelings for her.
However, Lizzy just forced those feelings out of her.
Because she was so caught up in maternal love that she never wanted to create a happy family with Fersen for her child.
She
Will try to be the best mother she can to this child, but she will not be able to give him a happy family.
This is the only discord that will take its place in the happiness that Fersen built step by step in Ruerg.
Because that will be her child nestled in her own belly.
Uriel and Linea.
Euphemia and Carlea.
Meanwhile, Fersen, who will be her husband and father, is a very sweet and kind person……
She said Fersen would never be able to do that as a husband and father to her and this child.
He will become a tyrant who is nothing more than a beast, scolding and abusing her beloved mother.
‘It’s stuffy.’
After looking at the window where the rain was streaming down for a while, Lizzy quietly lifted the sitting body and guided her wheelchair.
* * * * *
“This is it…… ?”
“It’s called an icicle. Miss.”
Although she has beautiful golden eyes after her mother, Euphemia, her hair is shiny black hair after Fersen.
As she walked through her corridors, she saw her frozen ice block and her curiosity filled her eyes.
Knock!
She immediately stretched out her tiny hand, took it off, took it into her own mouth, and then handed it to her sister, Linea, who was next to her.
Now that she is a two-year-old child, she still has a strong desire to lick and lick anything that interests her.
Appetite.
s*xual desire.
Not to be outdone by her desire to sleep, Carla already showed a glimpse of her older sister-like side in that she suppressed those feelings and gave Linea a chance first.
And Linea, who was equally intrigued by her older sister Karlea’s curiosity, fiddled with her icicles that she had handed over and cackled. She smiled and opened her mouth.
Because she has the same black hair as Carlea, at first glance she looks like a half-sister, but her clearly contrasting red eyes remind us that she is her half-sister.
But those children’s time is also short-lived……
“No. Miss.”
The maid reached out her hand and took the icicle from Linea’s hand, shaking her head with a stern expression.
If you put hard ice in your mouth, what will happen to your baby teeth that are just starting to grow?
“Woah, wow…… “
The two children tried to plead with her by holding on to the hem of her maid’s skirt, but soon they gave up and retreated.
This is a passage that shows how good and upright Carlea and Linea were raised in that they did not show stubbornness, which is typical of children, when they showed interest.
Finch!
As she continued to walk through her corridor, the maid suddenly lowered her head at the sight of Lizzy from the other side.
There were many maids living in Ruerg’s mansion, and each had a sense of belonging along with the wives they served……
Laura.
Uriel.
Euphemia.
Because everyone was very uncomfortable with Lizzy, the maids also tended to be very cautious of Lizzy.
However, that does not mean that Lizzy’s power is very powerful.
Excluding Fersen, the head of the family, when everything was considered externally, it was Uriel who was at the top of the hierarchy, both in name and reality.
Therefore, to express Lizzy’s position accurately, it would be correct to say that it is an independent and independent entity that cannot be ranked.
Everyone lives within the fence of Fersen, but she does not live like that.
That expression would be extremely contradictory to Lizzy, who is Fersen’s concubine and already has his child……
Rather, the maid thought that nothing represented the relationship between Fersen and Lizzy better than that contradiction.
“Come on, little mommy!”
“Mom!”
And unlike her very nervous maid, Carla and Linea toddled in front of Lizzy.
As they realized that their little brother was inside the large, swollen belly, the emotions contained in their touching hands were very pure affection and curiosity.
“Are you that excited for your little brother to be born?”
“Yes!”
“Wow!”
Lizzie stretched out her hand and stroked her hair, looking down at the two children who were clinging to her so annoyingly that they had traces of Fersen on them.
Even though the eyes are smiling.
Her mouth is not smiling.
Children were not yet able to notice the twist.
‘Your happiness…… ‘Does she know that it will actually be a misfortune for this child?’
Ruerg is hit by a harsh cold.
Because of that, it is a place where warm happiness stands out even more.
How would your child, who is only holding a pile of ashes, feel when he sees these two children, who hold a warm flame that will never go out?
‘Please, you guys, just grow up like that.’
Eventually, Lizzie removes her hand and proceeds down her corridor.
Kirik.
As the distance gets farther and farther away, Carlea and Linea’s laughter quiets down, and the sound of the wheels of the wheelchair only matches the sound of the pouring rain.
Lizzy’s appearance in that small space was that of her truly ugly mother.
* * * * *
Since there was no such thing as interacting with anyone, Lizzie returned to her own room, ate dinner alone early in the morning, and then lay down on her bed in comfortable clothes and closed her eyes.
Raining in Ruerg is not as common as you might think, so being able to spend time calmly listening to the sound of pouring rain is a precious moment.
From Noble mtl dot com
The sound is gradually fading away, and the sunset light is coming in through the window, to the point where I feel quite disappointed.
Click.
At that time, when someone entered the room without knocking, breaking the quiet time, Lizzie naturally frowned and opened her eyes.
There is only one person in Ruerg who can enter one’s bedroom without rudely knocking, so there is no need to guess.
“Ha.”
Are you planning on doing this again today?
Thinking that she couldn’t even laugh anymore, Lizzie shifted her gaze to the children’s book in Fersen’s hand.
Why is it so comical to see him trying to provide elaborate prenatal care that even the mother herself would not do?
“You won’t be able to be a good father when this child is born anyway.”
Despite Lizzie’s cynical words, Fersen was not lenient and pulled out a chair and sat down next to her.
Lee Seo-jin’s memories contained various stories that did not exist in this world, so it was not difficult to choose fairy tales that her children would like.
The process of having to do the transcription herself was quite difficult, but Carla and Linea also liked it very much, so there was no need for her to do it.
Then Fersen got into a comfortable position, opened the book, and she began to read its contents.
In between scenes, she reaches out her hand and gently strokes Lizzy’s swollen belly, appearing to be interacting with her child.
But Lizzy couldn’t feel the slightest emotion from Fersen’s appearance.
It is a selfish atonement that arbitrarily tries to indemnify one’s guilt.
It was too tiresome to point it out one by one, so Lizzy didn’t say anything and just turned her head to the side.
Anyway, the only moment he can pretend to be a good father is now, and rather, the memories of this moment will provide a clearer sense of contrast when he becomes a bad father after the child is born.
Lizzy closed her eyes, waiting for the fairy tale to end.
Consciousness also focuses on the sound of rain outside as much as possible, rather than Fersen’s voice.
However, the low-pitched voice that was especially pleasant to listen to naturally made me pay attention as usual.
It’s so child-friendly that it’s hard to believe that it was created in the mind of a human named Fersen.
Yes, that must have been the case, but for some reason the sense of disparity in today’s fairy tale was not great. Lizzie turned her head again and looked at Fersen.
A girl selling matches on a winter day sees a happy family home, and catches a glimpse of her happy fantasy by lighting the match she was planning to sell.
Just then, the fairy tale came to an end, and Lizzie opened her mouth to Fersen, who was putting the book down on the desk.
“Is that a story that hints at the future of this child who will soon be born?”
Hearing Lizzy’s low whisper, Fersen put down his book and took off his coat.
“Didn’t you clearly say that you hate walking the same path as me?”
“Ha. Even though you destroyed my life, my family, and my clan. I did not harm Uriel, Laura, Euphemia, your brother, or the imperial family who were so loyal. “But it’s a little disgusting to hear people say things like I’m starting to resemble you.”
“…… “
“It will be you, not me, who makes the child unhappy. I will be a good mother to this child. Because you will become a tyrant who abuses and scolds such mothers. Don’t try to transfer guilt by appealing to emotional theories. “Anyway, it’s a selfish atonement and an act to arbitrarily try to indemnify guilt, right?”
The low-pitched voice slowly rises, clearly conveying a sense of disgust.
Looking down at Lizzy like that, Fersen loosened his tie.
An act of forcibly establishing an equal position and trying to eliminate guilt through the sense of moral superiority that comes with such actions.
Certainly, in that respect, nothing would be more appropriate than the expression of selfish atonement, which seeks to arbitrarily indemnify guilt.
For this reason, Fersen had no right to say anything to Lizzy, who was planning revenge in her own way.
However, in the sense that she does not follow his own method of willingly choosing the worst for the best……
Can Lizzy not bend those tainted beliefs?
In order to make herself out to be her misguided father, Lizzie had to go through a process of virtually abusing herself.
Forcibly took Euphemia, cut off her ties, impregnated her, and killed Ciel Midford.
Compared to herself, who destroyed Claudia’s entire family, she was still a good child.
Okay……
Perhaps the balance of her scales was not equal from the moment she devoted part of her karma to the underworld.
No, is there a need to even express doubts to myself now?
At least Fersen believed that Lizzy would not be able to stick to her tainted beliefs to the end.
If she had been able to make up her angular heart like that in the first place, she would have been willing to follow her own path.
“Aha! Ahahahaha…… !”
And although Fersen obviously didn’t say anything, Lizzie burst into laughter as she wondered why the sight of him looking down at her reminded her of Corleone, the old bastard of the Alfred family she had met the year before last.
「Weak women like you cannot bear the hilt of a sword to a child conceived and born of the enemy’s seed. 」
「That pure white drawing paper is stained by her own malice, and it only hurts more to watch her suffer and rot. 」
「 Human emotions fade and become dull over time. No matter how strong the emotion, there are no exceptions. Eventually, that feeling evaporates, and in the stubbornness that remains like inertia…… I vaguely see you bowing your head for your child and longing for the happiness of your family lost in the arms of your enemies. 」
Because it was a short but intense meeting, the memories of that day, even the very sly and dirty voice, came to mind clearly.
“Do you think that I will be held back by motherly love and end up conforming?”
Lizzie laughed for a while at her non-stop laughter, then her expression hardened coldly and she looked at Fersen.
“Don’t look down on me.”
Even an old man who doesn’t have much time left to live.
The most hated and loathed enemy in the world.
Why does everyone look down on themselves so much?
The arrogant composure that came out as if it were natural did not really appeal to her, so Lizzy continued her words.
“This is the only time I can pretend to be a good father, so I didn’t bother to interfere with you…… “I don’t think it will work.”
“…… “
“Let’s do it.”
No, I wonder if there is a need to ask this man for his opinion……
“Do it.”
Lizzy said in a strong commanding tone and then spread her legs loosely.