In the name of God (8)
Seeing the splashing water, Neftam stared at it with impatient eyes.
A biting fear, learned to the depths of her heart, consumed her. Even if she didn’t want to, her body shuddered as her vision went up and down.
If it’s that deep, you might be able to put your face deep into it.
I hate being short of breath.
Leonhardt looked at Neftam’s face, who could clearly see what he was thinking.
He didn’t like it when her eyes were focused on the water and not on him.
“Neptam.”
He softly called Neftam by name.
Neftam turned to Leonhard with eyes that had turned round in surprise.
“yes?”
At her stupid answer, Leonhardt laughed as if she was cute.
He reached out and ruffled her hair.
“You should see me.”
Immediately, Neftam’s eyes turned to Leonhard like a well-trained puppy.
There were many emotions in his blue glass beads-like eyes that contained him.
One of them was hate. However, it was not the most powerful emotion because it was the most weak and fleeting.
“Well done.”
A sinewy hand ran gently through her hair. Relief crept into her eyes.
When he smiled softly, Neftam was glad that he wasn’t offended.
It was a completely different feeling than before.
What I didn’t know when I lived without looking at anyone’s notice.
A chilling sensation rushed down my spine and escaped through my heart.
Neftam put those precious emotions into me.
If you go into the water again or you get punished… When will I feel relief again?
He straightened up Neftam’s long hair and put it in Neftam’s hand.
Neftam gripped her wet hair like a rope.
“Close your eyes.”
Leonhard splashed water on Neftam’s face.
As soon as the lukewarm water touched her, she felt as if her pores were clogged with something.
“Why are you so afraid of water? I’m worried.”
Leonhard said as if he was sincerely sorry.
The hand that rubbed the area around her swollen eyes from crying was infinitely friendly.
“But it’s okay. I am there now.”
who made that
Neftam kept those thoughts in his head for a while, but quickly got rid of them.
It was an unhelpful thought.
His hand cupped Neftam’s little face and gently wiped away her tears with water.
Her shabby, shivering appearance was more like an ordinary woman than a goddess.
After sweeping her face once, Leonhard wiped her nervous face thoroughly with a cloth.
“It is done.”
At Leonhardt’s words, Neftam quickly opened his eyes.
Tears welled up in his eyes, shaking miserably, he looked up at Leonhard.
“I feel like crying again. then no. You have to wash again.”
He wiped the remaining moisture from her eyes. Neftam was frightened by those words and quickly nodded.
“yes. Yes. Okay. I won’t cry. I’m sorry.”
She groaned and rubbed her eyes.
“Nope. You can cry.”
Leonhardt’s voice grew a little chilly. Neftam’s heart beat nervously accordingly.
He rubbed his index finger over her bloodless lips, where his terribly thin breath flowed.
“That’s how you get paid. right?”
punishment. right. this is a bee This crazy choking feeling, the heart-throbbing scary thing, and this depressing regret.
Neftam recalled a hallucination he had seen hundreds of times underwater.
My brother’s burning corpse and the scorching heat. the wrong choices you made.
“But are you reflecting well now?”
“yes!”
Neftam nodded urgently.
At that cute figure, Leonhardt smiled.
He took the trembling girl in his arms and lifted her up.
As she held her warmly in his warm arms, she wanted this time to last even a little longer.
She laughed at herself.
No matter how much he begged, it was something he had done that could not be forgiven.
By now, I was regretting everything.
Deceiving people who believed in him, doing bad things to Elina, and everything about his younger sister.
So he had to be punished. That’s right.
Even though I think so, why do I hate suffering and pain?
‘It’s really helpless.’
If you really think you deserve to be punished, then you should accept suffering.
that’s right any terrible punishment.
But when I thought that, I was suddenly scared.
I thought that this punishment might never end.
And I felt so ugly that I was afraid of it.
“Sniff.”
Leonhardt calmly patted her on the back, who involuntarily began to cry again.
Holding her in his arms, he left the bathroom and moved to the room where he had been sleeping earlier.
Out of the bathroom, she clung to him even more.
Leonhardt looked at her incredulously as she trembled and clung to her even though she came out of the place she feared.
“Why are you doing this? like a child.”
In response to Leonhard’s question, Neftam let out a small whimper. Neftam himself couldn’t figure out the reason for his actions. Why are you burrowing into his arms?
It seemed that he was just looking for warmth. Or you’re so scared you want to run away.
Or maybe it was because he was the one who punished her the least.
Neftam would be terrified just by looking at Elin and Elina now.
“Cute.”
Leonhardt caressed Neftam’s soft ear lobe as he tidied up her hair.
He patted the back of Neftam, who was sniffing in his arms, and soothed him for a while.
I don’t know if it’s because of the strong arm that hugged her, his big hand, or the heat of the skin on the skin, but a strange thought popped up in Neftam’s mind.
“I… ”
His gaze moved to her face as she raised her voice.
Neftam’s heart swelled as he looked down at her face.
There were times when his gaze was more suffocating than being underwater.
Neftam let out only a light, suppressed breath.
“why?”
When she didn’t say anything, Leonhard asked, lightly flicking the bridge of her nose.
“Yes.”
Looking at Neftam grabbing his nose, Leonhardt smiled charmingly.
Neftam felt a sharp pain and removed his hand from his nose.
The hand, which had wandered aimlessly through the air, reached for the hem of his dress and carefully grasped the hem of it. I couldn’t even hold on to it, I just grabbed it with my fingertips.
“I, can’t I be forgiven forever?”
Leonhardt stared lazily into his wet eyes looking up at me.
Beautiful eyes with long stretched eyelashes, wet with water, had a vague feeling.
Perhaps it was nostalgia for the serenity of the previous day.
Leonhard put his hand to her eyes.
As she shuddered in fright, Leonhardt hugged her warm body like a doll.
and whispered
“You can never be forgiven. A lot of people have already died.”
“… ah.”
A pitiful voice flowed from Neftam’s mouth as he lowered his head.
It was a known result. I knew.
“Black… ah… ”
Neftam’s body trembled from the terrible difficulty in breathing that led to his actual body.
I can’t breathe. Even if it’s not a bathtub. even without water.
I keep running out of breath
“Haha… Ouch… ”
Neftam gasped for breath through his open mouth.
“But forgiveness is individual.”
Leonhardt’s slow words reached Neftam’s ears.
She didn’t understand what he was saying and only blinked slowly.
As the water droplets in his eyes ran down his cheeks, Leonhardt’s hand followed them as if rubbing them.
“I will forgive you.”
Soon, he grabbed Neftam’s tear-stained chin and lifted it up.
Force yourself to look at yourself.
Seeing her beautiful pupils dilate, Leonhard smiled lightly.
“… Am I being forgiven? Can I be forgiven?”
“I have already forgiven you. If not, will I hold you like this?”
“I… ”
Neftam heard something break.
It was the sound of cracks in the core that had been tightly packed inside.
“Black… ”
Neftam wasn’t sure if crying was the right response.
The body reacted first, and the emotions spread.
he whispered in my ear
His words of forgiveness are so precious.
“Huh.”
A bitter cry filled his throat as if clogged.
“As long as you don’t do anything wrong again, I will forgive you.”
Neftam collapsed into his arms as if wanting to hold onto it.
He hugged him and pressed his face against his hard chest.
As if pampered by his kindness, Neftam found stability in the arms of the culprit who made me suffer.
“Huh… black… !”
He knew that his mind was strange right now.
But the joy and relief of having been forgiven Neftam couldn’t control his heart.
I was afraid that I felt like I was being eaten.
His words continued to dwell in his extremely exhausted mind.
will forgive you forgive this person
You’re the only one who forgives me
“Are you all crying now?”
Leonhard softly asked as Neftam, who had been weeping wildly, began to whimper.
“yes. I’m sorry.”
Neftam muttered an apology that had become his habit and leaned his head against his chest.
I had been crying ever since I woke up, so somehow I felt more tired than in the bathtub.
“I have to wash again.”
Leonhardt said, stroking Neftam’s wet cheeks.
She was overcome with a slight euphoria. A small laugh came out as if the wind was blowing away.
‘My head is blank… ‘
Neftam blinked hazily.
“Would you wash me?”
“yes?”
A smile passed through Leonhard’s eyes.
“You act childishly better than I thought. Did it feel good to be washed?”
Suddenly, Neftam felt his face heat up at his words and twisted his back.
“Ah, that… ”
“okay. I’ll wash you. I can do that much.”
Neftam nodded in gratitude. As his hand pressed down on her head, Neftam relaxed from her body in a mere conformity.
A soft, heated cheek touched the nape of Leonhard’s neck. Neftam inhaled his scent, which felt slightly cold.
She tried to find security, consciously ignoring the biggest threat around her.
She knew that the feelings she was experiencing were not normal.
But even if I knew it, I wanted to feel more of this tranquility, the dry air, and the warm body temperature.
I knew how scary he was. But, right now, this feels good.
You won’t have to be stuck in the bathtub anymore.
for I have been forgiven Hope rose. Now I have to reflect on the future.
A little laugh came out at the end of the hard work.
Leonhardt was checking the status window rubbing her frantic elastic cheek.
‘Not yet.’
[Neptam’s tendencies are blooming.]
Looking at what was still going on, it seemed that she hadn’t fully reflected on it.
Although Neftam himself seemed to think that he was deeply regretful and reflecting.
At this rate, I will soon forget about this place after leaving this place.
Leonhard let out a sad sigh and wiped Neftam’s face.
She should have gone crazy.
“Gongja, are you here?”
It was then.
Neftam’s heart sank at the sound of footsteps coming from somewhere.
And the visit was opened.
“I’m here? Elin.”
As soon as Neftam heard the name, he drew in a fit of breath.
It wasn’t long before the trembling spread through the body like a wave.
“yes.”
Elin frowned as if he didn’t like it.
It was especially disgusting to see her hugging Leonhard.
“Confucius. I’m going to take him now.”
Neftam trembled pitifully at those words that came out of nowhere.
As if praying, she tightened her arms around Leonhard.
‘Take me? Where?’
Maybe in that bathtub?
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Just thinking about it gave Neftam a suffocating fear.
“oh… ah… ”
Elin walked in front of Leonhard and Neftam without hesitation. Then, trembling, he grabbed Neftam’s shoulders as he burrowed into Leonhard’s arms.
“I’ll take you.”
“Now, wait… why?! why? I am forgiven… ”
“What?”
Elin shifted her gaze to Leonhardt for a moment, then let out a small sigh.
“therefore? If Confucius forgives, should I also forgive?”
The pale blood on Neftam’s cheeks was completely gone.
“That’s not… but… ”
Leonhard sighed and let go of the arms holding Neftam.
Neftam’s eyes darkened.
Neftam’s thin waist, which was about to collapse in despair, was supported by Leonhard’s arms as if he were hugging him.
Sensing his warmth, Neftam shook off Elin’s arm and knelt down.
Then, panting, she clung to Leonhardt’s feet.
“Okay, I was wrong. sorry. I’m sorry. I really regretted it. Now I will reflect and live. Really, really.”
Leonhard gently stroked Neftam’s face as he spoke sadly.
Eyes that are pretty even if they are swollen, cheeks that are wet, and lips that are filled with tears.
Suddenly, he gripped her chin tightly.
“Why are you begging me?”
Neftam’s body stiffened at the sound of his low, slow voice.
“Because forgiveness is individual.”
Soft but cool eyes entered her wet eyes.
She knew those eyes well.
It was often the eyes he had when dealing with others. Those eyes that only those who dominate others can do.
It’s just that the position he’s receiving that gaze has changed.
In the next moment, the strength drained from her hands as if resigned.
“Are you done now? Let me tell you, I will not forgive you.”
Elin said, pulling Neftam’s arm roughly.
“yes. I’m sorry.”
Neftam stood up helplessly as Elin led him.
How much will you suffer in the future? In the Abyss, time flows very slowly.
Hope disappeared from within her. Only dry feelings remained in her.
“Neptam.”
As she was dragged away like that, Leonhardt’s voice came from behind.
Leonhardt removed the hair from her wet cheek as she turned her head and tidied it up.
Then, he rolled his eyes and kissed her gently.
“Go.”
… you can come back
Cruelly, those words were forcibly sealing Neftam’s broken heart.
“let’s go.”
While being dragged away by Elin, Neftam’s words kept repeating in his head.
She worked hard to remember those words.
I felt that if I didn’t hold on to the words he left behind, I would crumble and become dust forever.
By the time she fell asleep, that one word soon turned into her only wish.