In the name of God (9)
“Why are you crying so much?”
Leonhard said while gently caressing the crying Neftam’s slim jawline with his hand.
At the friendly gesture, Neftam looked up at Leonhard with tears in his eyes.
“I am so happy. Thank you.”
Neftam loved the time spent in Leonhard’s arms.
I don’t know how many times I wished that this time would never end.
But that hope was always dashed in vain. No matter how obsessed with that time, this time ended regardless of his will.
Leonhard kissed Neftam gently on the forehead.
Lately, Neftam has been living in a haze between dreams and reality.
The arm that hugged her when she was wet with water, and the voice that gently tickled her ear. And there are times when I am immersed in the dry, warm scent…
ding-
There was a time when reality shut up with a clear bell.
Neftam’s head, which was limp and limp under the water, was forcibly pulled out of the water.
“Coke… Coke… !”
Neftam vomited clear water and coughed out of breath.
The fear of suffocation and the fear of death filled her eyes.
Tears, indistinguishable from water, flowed down his flushed face.
“wrong… sorry… Coke… Forgiveness… please forgive me… .”
The words that were completely stuck in my mouth flowed out like a plea, mixed with a cough.
If I ask for forgiveness like that, I wonder if time will increase even a little bit.
“no.”
Watching her like that, Elin ruthlessly rang the bell again.
Neftam took a deep breath in surprise.
The visceral, creeping fear was eating away at her mind.
“please… ”
Neftam was mercilessly pushed back into the water.
Oxygen was completely cut off and they struggled, but it was all pointless.
okay. It was pointless.
No matter how much I begged, no matter how much I begged, there was no way I could ever be forgiven.
Still, Neftam had no choice but to beg for forgiveness.
It would be nice if it dissolved in water like this.
It would be easier if it melted like cotton candy and disappeared as it is.
Even thinking so, Neftam couldn’t let go of his breath.
While submerged in the water, Neftam kept thinking of the one word he had left.
I remembered the warm body temperature of his brushing my lips, the slightly cold scent, and the low voice that tickled my ears.
In fact, it was a brief experience that lasted only a few hours. However, the only thing she could rely on in the midst of the pain was that fleeting memory.
But how long has it been? did you come back here?
It was more painful and difficult now that I had hope than at the beginning when I didn’t know that I could escape.
Now, the work of that day was so far away. It was so painful and difficult.
I felt like the day would never come when I could feel him again forever.
Doubt bloomed.
Could it be that he lied to himself? If it was a word that was intended to give hope to oneself and to torment oneself.
What was even more miserable was that even in that doubt, Neftam had no choice but to rely on that memory.
To run away from that fear, she imagined over and over again that he would come to hug her.
In his imagination, Leonhard always hugged her kindly and held her tightly in his wide arms.
Sometimes it felt like real life, not imaginary. Hallucinations and hallucinations followed.
Not only that, but there were times when the arms that pulled me out of the water, the hands that gently tidied up my hair, and my body temperature felt real.
‘I must be going crazy.’
Neftam struggled and thought.
Maybe, I was already crazy.
And the thought of it was so frightening that each time it happened, Neftam relied more obsessively on that imagination. That time was so precious, Neftam clung to it.
Only in that illusion could Neftam be at ease.
“I’m sorry… ”
The apology that Neftam made in a fantasy from one day even had a heartbreaking feeling.
I felt love for Leonhard. He was the only one who accepted him.
Then, each time he realized that it was all an illusion, Neftam deeply regrets what he had done.
I shouldn’t have done it. Had it been so, none of this would have happened.
“Stop it now. I will die.”
Even today, Leonhardt’s voice came from afar.
Thinking it must be hallucinations again, Neftam closed his eyes.
I could feel his presence standing in front of me. The way he stretched out his hand between the blurred vision of water and tears.
Body heat touched Neftam’s cold cheek. It was hot like it would burn.
“I’m sorry… ”
Neftam begged him for forgiveness in a thin, small voice.
I’m really sorry. No matter how much I apologize, it’s not enough.
he forgave me I feel like I’m not forgiven
“I’ll take you right now.”
He had a light conversation with Elin.
Leonhardt, who said he would take Neftam, pulled her out of the bathtub and lifted her up.
Drops of water dripped from her body as she was taken out of the bathtub.
He didn’t seem to mind getting wet on his clothes.
At first, he thought he was seeing an illusion again.
A slightly more real fantasy.
But the moment she heard her heartbeat as she held her in his arms, she stopped breathing for a moment.
The scent of memories crossed my nose. His hands gently ran through her frightened wet hair. It was similar to his touch that I had felt before.
It was the real Leonhardt. he came I thought you wouldn’t come.
Neftam dripped water and struggled with his chest.
And yet, she immersed herself into the firm arms that held her greedily.
He closed his eyes, brought it to his ear, and breathed in time with the slow beat of his heart.
“It must have been very difficult this time.”
She looked up at him and parted her lips.
However, I wondered if I could even say this, so all I could say was sobbing.
“Is there anything you want to say?”
His hand was warm as he rubbed his slightly open lips.
“Don’t abandon me. I’m sorry. sorry.”
Neftam sniffled.
“I can’t throw it away.”
Leonhardt’s voice was low.
It suited him better than his voice, which was always friendly in fantasy.
It was terrifying, and at the same time, so charming.
“Because I never owned you.”
never owned
Her vision darkened as she tried to think what that meant.
Consciousness was sinking deeply.
I can’t sleep… She held the hem of his dress in her hand as if trying to catch a bubble.
I’m afraid that it will disappear if I go to sleep. scared…
.
.
.
Leonhardt was sitting on the bed, leaning his upper body against the head of the bed, looking down at Neftam.
Her face was blushing slightly, and she was sleeping peacefully, making her look pretty once again.
Wearing only the oversized shirt he had prepared for her, her slender silhouette was exposed through the thin clothing.
In fact, she had brought me here a couple of times before and allowed me to rest for a while.
When she wakes up, she pretends that time is her all, and desperately clings to him when she goes back.
Neftam seemed to have a strong obsession with the time he spent with Leonhard.
Then, when I went to see her again, she occasionally muttered incomprehensible words. I think it’s an illusion again.
She often seemed unable to distinguish between her real self and the fantasy she created.
I had never been so sick in those few years, but this time it really hurt.
Even while suffering from a high fever, she occasionally opened her eyes to see him, looking at him with teary eyes and calling Leonhard’s name mournfully.
And now it was a little better.
Leonhardt looked at her leisurely and slowly stroked her exceptionally fluffy hair.
Perhaps because of the touch, Neftam’s eyelashes trembled and his eyelids moved up.
“Woke up.”
Leonhardt smiled at Neftam, who had just opened his eyes and looked at him with unfocused eyes.
As soon as Neftam awoke and saw Leonhard, he crawled to him with a sluggish movement.
Then, shaking her hips and body, she threw herself into his arms.
His huge, swollen breasts pressed against his hard body, distorting their shape.
She breathed out, warmed from her sleep, and rubbed her cheeks helplessly. It was weak and weak.
“Leonhard… ”
He spoke in a cracked voice and looked at him with eyes mixed with survival instinct and twisted affection and obsession.
But she knew very well that all those feelings could not exist without Leonhardt’s permission.
“I need to eat something.”
Leonhard casually kissed her head. She blushed a little, but stayed still as he did.
Rather, as if asking for more, he raised his head and looked at him frantically, like an abandoned animal longing for food.
Her loose face looked erotic as she exhaled through her eyes wide open.
“I’m sorry.”
She mumbled, her voice muffled.
“You look tired. I’m sorry.”
Leonhardt’s lips came down to her eyes, which were gradually getting wet by the friendly voice.
Neftam responded to the soft and warm heat and let out a whimper.
Leonhardt kissed her as if drinking tears, and slowly rose from his seat.
Neftam’s hand gripped Leonhard’s hem all the way.
“… where… Where are you going?”
“Go get something. Stay.”
Neftam shook his head.
It seemed that this happy time would end if he disappeared from my sight.
what a precious time And it’s that short and sweet.
In this fleeting moment, Leonhardt must have been present.
To do so, she had to beg him, beg him, beg him, look up at him with watery eyes and earnest requests.
In the past, a single command was enough.
There was no room for her to be preoccupied with such thoughts.
The regret and loss she felt for her loss filled her with other emotions instead. It was an obsession with the short time I had with him.
Mc is dangerous, very dangerous