125 – Confinement
Sitting on the sofa, I had time to think again about what Lee Jin-ah had done to me.
…I definitely hated Lee Jin-ah in the past. She was resentful, but her sense of betrayal was greater.
I’ve never been bullied or bullied.
How can you do that?
To be honest, I regretted it a lot.
I shouldn’t have helped Lee Jin-ah who was struggling.
Seeing her being bullied by her mean bullies, I had to pretend I didn’t see her, and I shouldn’t have been a friend to her, who was lonely because she had no friends.
Perhaps if I had done the same thing as other people, what kind of life would I be living now?
I imagined that a few times, but it didn’t make any sense.
There are no ifs in history. What has already happened cannot be undone.
At that time, it was very burdensome for me to face her who had changed at the time, and also… At that time, I thought that was the best way.
When I was young, Jinah Lee and I couldn’t walk the same path.
Her I hated myself for feeling inferior to her, and I was so ashamed of myself for living a gutter-like life.
Each person has to live in a different world in the future, and I thought that if she couldn’t push me away now, Lee Jin-ah would always stay where I am.
Trying to run and avoiding, ignoring and running away, because I thought that was the way for each other.
But the more I try to run away, the more Lee Jin-ah tries to get closer to me, becomes obsessed, broken, and devastated.
In the end, Lee Jin-ah made various irrational decisions and everything was ruined… Strangely enough, while she was staying with Lee Jin-ah in this house, she couldn’t remember what happened in her future high school.
I kept hearing the sound of the TV, but I couldn’t hear any of it.
When she was young, Lee Jin-ah couldn’t watch TV, so she didn’t know any of the programs or anime that other kids enjoyed watching.
I also didn’t know much about fashion because I couldn’t watch TV freely when I was in nursery school, but there was no problem with us playing.
Every day on the playground, we played all night long with a pebble that was rolling around, played with a newspaper, played catch-up, played tag, and played hide-and-seek.
I was happy. It was fun.
Now I don’t know.
… Obviously, when she sees Jinah Lee, she should be angry, but she should be annoyed. … I can’t understand why the true self of her elementary school days comes to mind.
He clutched her head.
It feels like I’m being eaten little by little.
Where does the resentment and hatred go? Memories of the fun we had together come up like bubbles from the other side of our consciousness…
As all the moments with Lee Jin-ah passed by, her head became complicated.
Is this really true..? Is this feeling I’m feeling right now?
– Click.
The door opened, and Lee Jin-ah, who woke up with her greasy face, sat down on the sofa again.
“Did you take me to bed…?”
She was trying to overcome the oncoming sleep by running her palm over her face, perhaps not waking up yet.
…Thinking about it, you always had a hard time waking up because of low blood pressure, and your body was always cold, so if you massaged the back of your neck or your hands, it would warm you up.
Lee Jin-ah still seems to have low blood pressure. She seemed to find it difficult to move her body after waking up.
She was funny to be honest.
From noble mtl dot com
You should be worried about yourself, but it was funny that you were struggling with low blood pressure and trying to take care of me in a wide range.
I’m still sitting still, but my body seems to be shaking, and my lips are pale… Even at a glance, I could see that I was tired.
So when I was young, I couldn’t leave Jinah Lee alone.
A child who will collapse if I don’t take care of him.
That was the first thing I thought of when I saw her when she entered elementary school.
…I don’t know. Even now, Lee Jin-ah felt like she would pick up and fall down if no one was around her.
“..Thank you…”
Lee Jin-ah, who was looking at me, opened her eyes a little.
I feel strange.
Lee Jin-ah, smiling lightly, pointed at the remote control that was on her table.
“Have you been watching…? Yoo Seon really likes this program..”
I got up and went into my room and shut the door.
– Kung!
As soon as I closed the door, I leaned back behind the door, soft like melted ice cream, and stayed like that for a long time.
“… Ha.”
I couldn’t understand this feeling. How… How do I…
Maybe he tried his hand at the future group…?
I thought maybe that might be the case.
Because there are future restrictions, wouldn’t it be possible to make medicine there and mix it with the food I eat?
It’s an era where people are sent to the moon and what’s under 10,000 leagues under the sea.
Wouldn’t it be easy to make a drug that seduces the opposite s*x?
There are legal issues, but there are still drugs that make people feel good.
If you think about it, while I was at this house, I remembered that I had never cooked my own food before.
Until now, I ate the food Jina Lee brought.
Her grandfather also used drugs, but he had no objection.
Is there a big difference just because she’s her granddaughter…?
…Thinking about it made me feel at ease.
I wanted to think that the tremors and palpitations I was feeling right now were artificial emotions made of drugs.
Unless… I don’t know. My head is confused…
-Smart…
“Hey Yoo Seon-ah, are you okay…? Why did you suddenly enter the room…?”
I covered my ears with my hands.
Lee Jin-ah became scared.
With all hostility, rebellion, and hatred gone, being alone with Lee Jin-ah in this house is not awkward or uncomfortable… Is it really true..?
“Did I make a mistake…? Are you mad…? If you’re angry… Tell me why you’re angry…”
I got up and opened the door.
“…Yoo Seon-ah,..?”
Since they were facing each other like this, Lee Jin-ah was small.
My body cast a shadow over Lee Jin-ah.
In her living room, Jinah Lee looked tired and languid, and she and she-she gave off an indescribably strange atmosphere somewhere…
Lee Jin-ah of today was like a wounded small animal.
Could she have been hurt? Am I not doing something wrong..?
I glanced at my eyes and glanced, and her body was trembling.
Just… Like I’m about to hit you.
That’s funny.
Never once did I harass or hit Jinah Lee.
What Lee Jin-ah is doing right now is making her body tremble as if I had predicted that I would do that.
“…”
Looking at Lee Jin-ah, she suddenly lost all her strength in her body, and she had no energy to deal with.
And I was hungry.
“…Get out of the way”
Naturally, Jina Lee manipulated her tablet.
If you select a dish, you can write a comment asking what to add to it.
…I was able to make pork stir-fry.
Give only the ingredients. I will take care of the cooking.
– Click.
I could see the ingredients in a pure white bowl as the dish was opened.
There seemed to be nothing special about it.
I washed the ingredients under running water, and then started cooking.
In the past, I had helped Yu-jeong cook by her side several times, so I was able to make stir-fried pork myself.
“Yoo Seon-ah, are you going to cook now…? Could I help you…?”
Lee Jin-ah approached me, and I pushed her away with my arm.
I don’t know, but it’s clear that Lee Jin-ah is playing tricks.
I had no choice but to stay away from Lee Jin-ah until I knew exactly what I was feeling.
“Away”
Lee Jin-ah, who shot her butt on the floor, had eyes that couldn’t understand why this was happening.
… Normally, she would have felt a little sorry, but in my eyes now, it feels like seeing a witch who is playing a cunning trick.
“…Why..? Are you doing this..?”
I started to open the ingredients packaged like a meal kit one by one.
If you can’t tell who’s eating what food, you won’t be able to easily mix medicine with ingredients.
“…It hurts…”
Lee Jin-ah was on the floor, shedding tears.
“…”
I turned my attention back to the ingredients.
I could feel Lee Jin-ah looking at me.
-Sniff…
Seeing the tears pouring out like a broken faucet made me feel strange. Feeling like I did something I shouldn’t have done.
…It’s been a long time since I’ve seen someone so sad.
I focused on cooking as much as possible.
As far as cooking goes… I just put the food in a plastic bowl in a pot and heat it up.
I think I heard somewhere that chemicals like drugs are weak against heat. So, wouldn’t it be okay to eat like this?
I quietly took my food and went into the study.
Because I cooked rice. Eat it Would it be possible to say something like that? For a moment, that thought passed through her head.
… Thinking that it would be better for Jinah Lee if she could not get involved with her from now on, she entered the study without a word and ate.