252─The Underworld
Endless gripping.
Hit your head down.
Even if I slap you in the face.
Lizzy held her empty eyes, feeling her emotions slowly cooling down due to the reality that nothing could relieve her anger.
His clean-cut appearance was disorganized to the point of being unsightly due to the continued excretion of emotions for a long time, but now he doesn’t feel the slightest pleasure in it.
In response, Lizzy stretched out both hands and grabbed Fersen’s cheeks, made him look at her, and muttered in a low voice.
“…… “I’m going to give you that damn obsession again.”
And.
“I will make it impossible for you to even touch the people and women you cherish. Of course, you won’t be able to receive warmth.”
“…… “
“Your voice won’t be heard, and you won’t be able to convey anything.”
Lizzy gently stroked Fersen’s cheek, saying that she would make it impossible to even write down her thoughts.
“You will be able to see, but you will not be able to see your face. You will also be reflected, but your face will not be revealed.”
“…… “
“You won’t be able to smell the scent of the women you like so much, and your scent won’t be mixed with them.”
Exists, but does not exist.
Alive, but like a dead person.
I just wander around like a ghost by their side, unable to feel any connection.
Lizzie grabbed Fersen’s cheek and pressed her purple eyes closer to his unique red eyes, telling her to live her life like a living corpse for once.
A relationship inevitably fades as communication decreases.
So……
Let’s share each other’s warmth.
We share each other’s scent.
If each person gradually forgets each other’s faces, the individual memories that make up the relationship will also disappear like bubbles.
How will Ferzen, who suffers from her extreme obsession and has to watch helplessly from a distance where she can immediately reach out if she extends her hand, react?
What was nothing became everything.
The moment when everything becomes nothing again, yes.
For the first time, Lizzy wanted him to “Regret.”
And when Fersen heard Lizzy’s words, she kept her silence for a while and then slowly opened her mouth.
“…… If you want to do that, then do it.”
Ha.
Lizzy’s bright red lips twisted up with a clear sneer.
Slender fingers touch his cheeks and around his lips, mocking him.
“A funny person.”
“…… “
“Just like a fairy tale or a novel, they and they won’t let you go until the end. “Do you think you won’t forget again?”
“It would be a lie to say that I don’t have that kind of faith.”
But even if that trust was shattered, Fersen thought it would be okay.
Of course, when that moment comes, painful and painful days will unfold without any need for imagination.
But didn’t she make a promise?
No matter what form it takes, I will definitely be by your side.
Of course, the sight of these women and their lives forgetting about themselves and turning their backs on them will bring about extreme sadness.
When you see that, you might cry out and spit out anger that cannot be heard or reached.
Furthermore, as Lizzy said, there is no need to tie one’s soul to the pantheon, and one may feel skeptical and regret the faded relationship.
But it is said that when dreams become regrets, humans finally feel that they have become old.
The boy who dreamed of becoming a knight becomes an adult and realizes that it is useless.
The girl who dreamed of becoming a princess becomes an adult and realizes that this was only possible in fairy tales.
The boy, now a young man, promises the woman he loves a happy life without getting a drop of water on her hands.
The girl who became her virgin believes her words and imagines her rosy future.
But as the aging young man sees his wife’s worn hands becoming increasingly rough and full of calluses, and her face beginning to have wrinkles, he realizes that that too was in vain.
An aging girl also folds up the rosy future she had imagined and buries it somewhere in her heart because her husband, who seemed to be able to overcome everything in her harsh reality, is desperate just to maintain her family.
The pain of having a dream become a regret is because you have lived a mortal life, unaffected by the flow of time……
She will take her place as a clear proof that she has grown old with them and with them.
In a word, Fersen did not want to deny the time he lived as a human being, which belongs to eternity.
Even if it is an unbearable pain.
“…… “
After Lizzy heard her own words, she slowly removed her hands and showed no reaction. After a while, Fersen carefully lifted her up and held her in his arms.
Sureuk.
Lizzy surrenders herself to his touch like a doll with its strings unraveled, without the slightest resistance from her.
Where and what are her empty purple eyes looking at?
…… Well, if you’ve come this far, you don’t need to worry anymore.
Nine years of bad relations between her and herself.
Among them all, today is the day when we had the most conversations.
There will be no misjudgment in each other’s choices.
“…… Egg plant.”
Fersen takes a step forward.
Half a day has already passed.
* * * * *
「Then…… I’ll open it. 」
After a deep sigh, the gods of the heavenly world, who were watching Ferzen’s notice, consumed a large amount of the karma they each had and opened the gate to the underworld.
Unlike the door to the underworld that is opened in this world, the door to the underworld that is opened here requires a tremendous twist of causality in itself—karma.
This is because, except for a few exceptional cases, the external hierarchy is basically cut off from this world and is not allowed to interfere.
So the flow of time in the outer layer was also different from this world.
To prevent gods who spend their free time contemplating this world from becoming attached to humans, they had to be seen as being born and dying soon.
That is why Fersen asked them to spend half a day.
When the gods of the heavenly world, who consume karma again through the opened gate of the underworld, began to control Fersen’s wind……
“…… “
Lizzy also joined in, using the large amount of karma she had received from him.
Wiggle.
「 …… 」
It was very unpleasant for a mere human soul to interfere with them, but the punishment that Lizzy gave to Fersen was also to drastically reduce their own karma consumption, so the gods of the heavenly world tried to erase that feeling from their expressions. .
Lizzy even possesses about half of the karma that Fersen originally had.
In other words, it can be seen that Fersen’s capabilities have been reduced to that extent, so it can be said that the original goal was achieved, albeit imperfectly.
And Lizzy, who did not know the thoughts of the heavenly world——the five gods of fortune—turned her gaze toward Fersen, who was standing in front of the open gate of the underworld.
Honestly, it was difficult for Lizzy to sympathize with his perspective on human life.
It was like the opinion of aristocrats who looked at the haphazardly drawn work of a famous artist and expressed plausible impressions.
Because of this, it appears that Lizzy does not value Fersen, but simply finds it fascinating that human life has become a powerful stimulus in the eons of boring life.
Like a child who tried sweet sugar for the first time.
His interest in strange things is simply mistaken for something precious.
So, the corners of Lizzy’s mouth curled up little by little to show him a sneer, but soon after, the corners of Lizzy’s mouth lowered again, creating an expressionless expression.
‘…… ‘
In fact, he may be hoping that he is mistaken that way.
After all the frustration and pain, there is nothing left for me.
If the pain condensed after frustration and pain became one meaning to him.
Could it really be called punishment?
But even this is something I don’t want to allow him.
What measures should he take?
When he stood in front of the mirror, Fersen was not reflected.
When Fersen stood in front of the mirror, he hoped to see himself reflected.
He didn’t want to be the same person as him, but he hoped that he would follow in his footsteps.
But that would be impossible unless he himself becomes his mirror.
And the answer to the question of why not is exactly the same as the first time.
From Noble mtl dot com
Returning the pain to the victim by becoming the same perpetrator is a very bitter and unfair sign.
Quuk!
But at this point, Lizzy had no choice but to become aware of herself.
This cycle of thoughts itself is a reflexive defense mechanism and desperate self-defense.
Of course, the idea itself may not be completely wrong.
It was sad enough for a victim who came forward after seeing an unpunished perpetrator become another perpetrator.
However, in that case, the victim probably gave in to his desire for revenge despite considering the consequences.
And considering the injustice that Lizzie received from Fersen, it was not surprising that her desire for revenge would overwhelm reason.
Nevertheless, the essential reason for ignoring one’s desire for revenge through the relevant defense mechanism and self-defense is……
It would be safe to say that this terrible self-justification itself is the answer.
In the beginning, I lived with hatred and anger that sprouted in frustration and despair.
That feeling was shattered when I was attacked by a foreign country and trapped in a dream barrier during the test.
It was possible to make an excuse, saying that the external pressure was too great, but in the end, it collapsed at the point where she could overcome the trauma of Fersen and move on to a higher level. It was because Lizzy had to compromise with herself through her own will. That would be evidence that they chose to be complacent with reality.
He even gave up his daily plans for revenge.
She took a posture of on the sidelines, wrapped in the vain hope that her brothers might bring her both the success of her revenge and the comfort of her reality.
In the end, what was the ending?
They forcibly took the steering seat and did not even turn, so all they could do was cry out as they watched the wrecked ship sink.
Even though it was Fersen who gave her a life full of despair.
The reason I couldn’t get even a glimmer of happiness there was probably because of myself.
No, originally, it was a life where I pledged revenge without even needing such happiness.
She chose to take a step back and settle for reality.
Lizzie, who had indulged her ugly greed in such a topic and had taken a stand-by position, continued her disillusioned self-defense and self-defense like this.
In fact, isn’t it funny to say it’s a choice?
What did she do?
Revenge.
Didn’t she leave everything to Er and César, even the compromises that would settle for reality, to build up a little happiness on top of the ashes?
It was indecisive to the point of nausea.
It created a premium supporting role for the villain.
Because of this, Lizzy faced the ending that she, her family, and her family faced.
…… I couldn’t bear to be honest.
In fact, it was the karma given to her in the underworld, and it was also her only sin, so there is no need to say more.
In a word, she is Lizzy Paul Liana Claudia.
She doesn’t want to face herself like that.
It’s not unfair that she becomes the same as him.
She has become exactly like him, and she can no longer resent him.
She becomes just like him and can no longer remain his victim.
She was afraid of herself, unable to turn a blind eye to her own inferiority and shift all of that responsibility onto a villain named Fersen.
“Ah…… “
And at the end, Lizzy was able to realize clearly.
Uriel.
Laura.
Euphemia.
Jeremiah.
Just as much as the imperial family of the Ernest Empire, she is also desperately subordinate to him in another sense.
* * * * *
“Ha…… Ahahahaha…… “
In the heavy silence that lingers, Lizzy, who is laughing alone, raises her head as she feels the gaze gathering on her.
Kwaak!
At the same time, she completely consumed the large amount of karma handed over to her by Fersen without leaving a single trace, and began to completely distort her causality that had been coordinated so far.
Because it was like the act of sinking a building that was about to be completed and creating a new one……
「 …… 」
For an instant, the five gods of heaven looked at Lizzy with mesmerized expressions.
Because if the result of her tuning is something Fersen does not want, he will definitely consume their karma again and demand re-tuning.
However, Fersen did not say anything even after seeing the twist in the readjusted causality.
Always.
As always.
He just stands in front of Lizzy with an intimidating and dignified posture.
Sureuk.
Then Lizzy slowly approached Fersen, stretched out her two thin hands in front of his nose, and wrapped them around her neck.
The figure looked like a snake approaching to hunt a falcon perched on a tree, and the five gods of fortune who were watching were caught in a strange sense of tension.
“You took away all the meaning of living from me…… “
“…… “
“In the end, it is truly contradictory that for me it was the last meaning of life.”
My past self became his victim.
My current self who wants to remain his victim.
And in the midst of it all, the one who screams and wants to be proud of his family and family.
Yes, by facing it all without turning away from it, Lizzie clearly realized how to use the twisted balance handed to her by Fersen.
The ship called family and family is shipwrecked.
I was wandering aimlessly on the vast sea, but now I have a purpose.
Because of this, Lizzy decided to build her own ship again and board it to continue her lonely voyage.
This was a consolation for his past self who had become a victim.
At the same time, it was also a scolding to my current self who wanted to remain his victim.
It was an atonement for the indecisive wait-and-see attitude of taking a step back and not trying to grab revenge or even the slightest happiness.
“Fersen.”
“…… “
“My villain.”
If you are the meaning and everything of my life.
“I, too, will gladly be your everything.”
This was the first and last choice of her woman, Lizzy Pauliana Claudia.
Rather than weighing yourself against him, it makes you weigh the existence of yourself to him.
“Won’t you regret it?”
Ferzen could not know what Lizzy had readjusted.
You can only find out by crossing the gate of the Underworld and returning to this world.
But since she had a vague guess, Fersen asked her for the last time about her true intentions.
Lizzie threw her head back and smiled silently, then held Fersen’s cheek affectionately.
“I don’t regret it. No, it’s the only choice I won’t regret.”
“Is that so?”
“You’re using a lot of moxibustion, which is uncharacteristic of you.”
Lizzy moves her hand away from his cheek, as if scanning it coquettishly, then takes a step back and holds out her left hand.
“Let’s go.”
“…… “
“The dirtiest, ugliest, cowardly, most despicable dedication in the world…” … “To you, who has been the most passionate and sincere to me.”
I will tell you that tribute.
“…… “Sure.”
This must be a poisonous chalice.
But I knew I had no choice but to drink it.
After a faint hesitation, Fersen held her hand and slowly began to escort her beyond the gates of the underworld and into this world.
Is it an illusion that for a moment she was reflecting on her younger days, when she asked herself to dance?
And as Fersen was leaving, the monsters of the depths gathered near her each lowered their heads and opened their mouths in unison.
「I hope it will be a good game. ” Called.
Quad!
Then, without the slightest hesitation, Ferzen made an example of annihilating the existence of several monsters and erased their names from the ledger of the underworld.
The fear of having one’s name erased from the ledger of the underworld—of extinction, becoming nothingness–is something that Fersen has imprinted on the monsters for a long time.
Of course, the monsters in the depths instinctively trembled and bowed down to him miserably.
And then Fersen took a step forward, and she kindly corrected what the monsters had said a moment ago.
「This is not entertainment, it is life. 」
Yes, Berthem Elquia Erue.
Their king who never sleeps……
Once again, I fall into a short but long sleep.