[Side Story] Lizzy Paul Liana Ruerg—Love and Hate (Love and Hate)
“Ha. Ahahahaha…… “
Fersen’s last words shocked Lizzie in a different way.
‘My appearance is hypocrisy…… ‘
Lizzy dismissed it as ridiculous and absurd nonsense, but she was startled by Lobelia’s faint moan that she heard right away and raised her head.
Lizzy clenched her fists without realizing it.
‘I am by no means torn between motherly love and revenge…… ‘
Can you describe the act of watering a flower bed to pick flowers as affectionate?
After thinking like that, Lizzy closed Lobelia’s diary and stayed by her sick daughter’s side without saying a word.
* * * * *
Lobelia, who had lost her mind, opened her eyes at the sunset.
Although the fever has not completely gone, the body with a mild fever still feels relatively pleasantly refreshed.
Still, the fever that had bloomed did not subside, so before night came, the doctor mixed antibiotics into the sap once more and put down the prepared medicine.
After Lizzy fed her rice, she dissolved the prescribed powder in lukewarm water and made Lobelia drink it.
“Ooh, uh…… “
Even Lobelia, who is not a picky eater, hates that bitter taste and naturally frowns at her.
She then realized that the only thing staying by her side was her mother, and her expression became sullen.
Lizzie knew where that reaction came from because she had already read her diary, but she tried to ignore it and wet a clean cloth with water and wiped Lobelia’s body.
“Um, ma…… “
“Why are you doing this? “Is there anything you want to eat?”
“Oh, Dad…” … ?”
Because Lobelia had never mentioned the word ‘father’ in this way in front of her, Lizzy, who was cleaning her daughter’s body, stiffened in shock.
And Lobelia immediately noticed her mother’s reaction and lowered her head for no reason.
“Dad…… “He didn’t come here.”
Perhaps it was because Fersen’s words were quite shocking?
Lizzie, who had always remained silent when talking about Fersen, opened her mouth for the first time.
“Oh, you don’t know…” … “
Lobelia thought that her mother was the only one by her side because her father, Fersen, did not know that she was sick.
Thanks to this, Lobelia’s gloomy expression has improved.
On the other hand, when Lizzy saw that, she kissed her lips once more.
Even though I knew you were sick, you didn’t come.
She was clearly trying to speak her words with such harshness that her quivering lips barely seemed to move away.
Still bloodshot eyes and body full of heat.
She is a child who, out of innocence and longing for a harmonious family, hurt herself without even realizing that she was self-harming.
At the end, she is reaching out her hand toward her unattainable wish with her delicate hands.
She is afraid that if she says something like that in a cold way, she will wither away.
But every time that happened, Lizzy bit her lip as Fersen’s words came to mind.
A flower that you want to pick anyway and tie into a dagger.
If a child who should hate her father is unable to do so, shouldn’t this be ignored?
“Lobelia.”
“Yes.”
“…… Now.”
“Yes!”
However, Lizzie, unable to utter a single harsh word until the end, covered herself with a blanket and lay down with Lobelia.
Unlike her child, who falls asleep quickly, Lizzy cannot close her eyes until late at night.
In particular, upon hearing Lobelia’s groans, as if the fever had started to rise again, Lizzie put a cloth soaked in her cold water on the child’s forehead and changed it several times.
At times like that, she feels a deep sense of regret for what happened a few hours ago when she couldn’t even open her mouth.
As a result, it would be Fersen, not herself, who would be hated, and her appearance as a relatively good mother would not be undermined in the slightest.
Why couldn’t she speak calmly?
While trying to infect her child with her own malice, her behavior seems to place more importance on her position as the child’s mother.
What lay in that gap was, as Fersen had said, a terrible hypocrisy, so Lizzie clenched the cloth she had taken to change her clothes.
“That man who hurts her mother every time…” … Why on earth don’t you hate…… “
If she had resented her father as she wished and had been satisfied with just being by her beloved mother, none of this would have happened.
“Why on earth…?” … “
After repeating the question for which there would never be an answer, Lizzy again wet the cloth she had grabbed with cold water and placed it on Lobelia’s forehead.
As dawn gets brighter, Fersen enters the silence with the sound of the door opening.
Fersen deliberately came to Lobelia at a time when she was not awake to check on her condition.
But what greeted him was Lizzy, who was still not asleep and was sitting on the bed looking very exhausted.
“…… “
I thought she would spit out harsh words in a harsh voice.
The reaction shown is an indifferent look, as if looking at a stone on the side of the road.
“Ah, pa…… ?”
Then, when Lobelia woke up and opened her mouth in a trance-like manner, which was not the least bit surprising, Lizzie glared at Fersen like a newly born animal and spoke with her mouth without a voice.
Get out now.
Because he hadn’t come to fight, Fersen quietly disappeared out the door.
Immediately afterwards, Lizzy patted Lobelia’s chest and put her to sleep again.
However, in the morning when bright sunlight was shining in the room, Lobelia opened her eyes and asked a question in a voice so bright that Lizzy’s efforts were in vain.
“Uh, mom…… ! Oh, what about Dad?”
I think I saw my mom and dad together in the same room.
When she opened her eyes, only her mother was by her side. Lobelia was confused, but there was also a faint joy there.
“Dad…… Doesn’t exist. “He didn’t come.”
“Oh, no! Look, what you saw! Mom and Dad are the same…… !”
“You didn’t come——!”
Complex thoughts and mental fatigue.
My body felt like it was going to collapse at any moment due to staying up all night taking care of it.
But the sound of waking up early in the morning means looking for Ferzen.
Lizzy raised her voice without realizing it and belatedly looked up at her daughter’s face, her body trembling.
“Hi…… ! Wow…… !”
The wide, obsidian-like eyes are watery, as if they are about to shed tears at any moment.
The trembling lips were contorted accordingly, and the hiccup that came out clearly showed how surprised the child was.
“Ah…… Me, I…… Mom said that…… “
On a rare occasion, Lizzie, embarrassed and unsure of what to do in front of her child, stutters her words.
“Sin…… Wow! I’m sorry…… “
Lobelia, who began to sniffle, burst into tears.
Lizzie felt as if her heart was being ripped out as she watched her child repeatedly say she was sorry, even though she had done nothing wrong.
“No…… Mom, I’m sorry for yelling loudly…… ”
When Lobelia stretched out her hands and pulled her small body into her arms, she cried even harder.
As a result, the hem of her clothes became wet with her child’s tears, and the wet feel of her legs was so painful.
* * * * *
After being fed breakfast, given medicine, and examined by a doctor, Lobelia went out for her walk in her Lizzie’s arms.
However, Lizzie’s expression on her face was not good when she saw that her child, who was particularly talkative, did not say a word.
Small lips that move several times.
And then a repetition of hesitation that closes.
She wasn’t stupid either, so how could she not know that the child was watching what he was saying.
After returning to her room after her walk, Lizzy laid Lobelia down on her bed and let her take a nap.
It doesn’t take long for the child to fall asleep, perhaps because the medicinal energy seeps into her sick body.
“…… “
Is it because I am still receiving antibiotics mixed with fluid?
There was a faint bruise on her delicate forearm where the needle had been inserted, and Lizzie gently touched it and gently adjusted her disheveled lobelia bangs, making her cry.
Fersen pointed out that it was a somewhat clumsy method.
It would definitely not be wrong.
Since she was unable to refute, she must have subconsciously known that this was not enough.
However, she couldn’t shake off that lingering desire to be a good mother.
If Lobelia had followed that clumsy method and resented Fersen, she might have acted foolishly.
In the first place, it is an incompatible premise that she can infect her child with her own malice and be a good mother to her.
What on earth did she want?
With her sad smile, Lizzie lightly shook her bell.
Then, a moment later, the maid entered her room.
“…… “Please call him here.”
“I understand.”
As her bowing maid stepped out, Lizzie sat in her wheelchair and looked out her window.
Numerous thoughts were swirling in her unique purple eyes, but they soon calmed down when a small knocking sound was heard.
Kirik.
Lizzy goes out her door, steering her wheels with her own hands, without necessarily controlling her body.
In front of her was Fersen, who was looking down at her, and Lizzy, who met her gaze squarely, struggled to open her chapped lips.
“As you said…… Okay. Like you said, it would be better to stop doing stupid third-rate plays…… “
Is he an unsightly stubborn person?
Or is it inertia that cannot be stopped?
Fersen responded in a heavy voice to Lizzie’s words that rather than creating a happy family as her child hoped, she would simply choose a direction that would cause less suffering.
“If that is your will…” … “I will do it.”
A cool breeze blows through the quiet hallway.
And the two people there did not say anything for a while.
What more is there to say in the first place?
Just, Ferzendo Rijido.
From Noble mtl dot com
As if she was possessed by something, her lingering affection remained and she could hardly take her feet off.
Quadang!
However, soon enough, a loud noise coming from inside her room shatters the silence.
* * * * *
Lobelia, who faintly heard her father’s voice mixed with her mother’s, woke up from her sweet sleep and looked around.
Although her mother was not visible next to her, the conversation coming through the crack in her unlocked door made Lobelia’s ears perk up.
After all, her own way wasn’t wrong?
Lobelia, filled with high expectations and wondering what on earth her mother and father were talking about, got down from her bed and approached her door, her footsteps muffled.
‘Ah…… ?’
But at that moment, due to the intense dizziness, Lobelia stumbled on her thin legs and fell helplessly.
Quadang!
Stiffness as if the entire body becomes stiff.
Exceptionally, only her arms and legs began to tremble, and Lobelia, who was panting heavily, lost her mind.
Snap!
Next, the door opens roughly, and what is engraved in Lizzy’s shaking purple eyes……
“Ah, ah…… “
The image of Lobelia lying on the floor, convulsing, with light foam at the corners of her mouth.
The moment Lizzy confirmed all that, her whole world seemed to be falling apart.
The rapidly contracted pupil captures only the image of her daughter, and the tinnitus that seems to erase all noise in the world lets only the sound of her own heart beat wildly.
Boom!
Her head, which seemed to have become a pure white page, made her move without even thinking about it.
Because of this, Lizzy forgot that she could not walk completely, and her body collapsed ungainly the moment she got out of her wheelchair.
She was Lizzie who nevertheless tried to crawl away, but her greatly traumatized body hardly moved.
At most, the distance is only about ten steps.
But the distance reflected in Lizzy’s eyes seemed to be so far away that her daughter could not even be reached.
Kwaak!
Lizzy turned her body to her side and hugged Fersen’s leg with difficulty.
And with her stubborn lips that seemed to take precedence over her own revenge just a moment ago……
“Save me, save me…” … “
Begging for her daughter’s life.
It was the most miserable plea in the world, and the most earnest prayer in the world.
Ttogak.
Finally, when Fersen walked forward without saying a word, Lizzie let out a sob, feeling an indescribable emotion.
When her legs were trampled.
When your life is ruined.
When her family left.
When the family falls apart.
The gods did not respond to any prayers.
No one reached out to them.
Why does her own villainy, unchanging through her years, answer her to this pathetic prayer?
At the same time, seeing her daughter in Fersen’s arms, Lizzie was able to realize.
Ah.
Ah……
The flower that she once watered to pick had taken root in her own heart.